Ask Me Help Desk - Why am I this way?

Why am I this way?

I'm in love. No doubt about it. I'm 17 and I've been with this guy for about 6 1/2 monthes and its been really hard. My parents recently divorced and I started partying and stuff. I drink just about every weekend. My boyfriend absolutely hates it. He doesn't trust me because once I start drinking I get a little "touchy" with people. I don't want anybody else, I seriously don't.. but a few times I've drank without him and stuff happened that I feel aweful about. I know that the first time should've been a huge wake-up call for me to quit drinking without him but it obviously didn't. This last weekend I cheated on him for the 2nd time and I want to quit drinking but am afraid I can't. He hears that I cheat on him but I lie. He told me that if I ever cheated on him that he'd break up with me. I'd much rather lie and have him in my life than tell him the truth and lose him... Is that bad?

I really need help.

Yes, that is bad. You're 17 and have a drinking problem! You need some counseling, just don't go to a party. I've used this analogy before, if you can't swim, do you go near a deep pool? Nope didn't think so, if you can't control your alcohol then don't be around places you can drink.

Lying is horrible, you did it not once but twice, so no sympathy for you. Wise up and pay the piper and tell your boyfriend what you've done

You have life and BS all screwed up, and unless you straighten yourself out, you'll be just another drunk loser.

He clearly deserves the truth. That, and, to be without you.

Tell him the truth you have to live with the consequences of your own actions. Yes your parents split up and that can be hard but drinking and partying isn't healping your situation its making it worse. You can't avoid the pain it will just catch up to you later and be even worse

Quote:

Originally Posted by 411Help

He clearly deserves the truth. That, and, to be without you.

I realize that this was a long time ago... but honestly.. that's rude. I didn't ask if he should be with me or not... I don't appreciate that last comment..

It's the truth, whether you appreciate it or not.

Quote:

Is that bad?

Its still as bad as the day you wrote it!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Its the truth, whether you appreciate it or not.

Its still as bad as the day you wrote it!

Yes its bad. But I wasn't asking if it was bad that I cheated on him. I was asking if it was bad that I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want to lose him... but you know what.. I did tell him and I didn't lose him. We've been together for over a year now and we are stronger and way more loyal to each other. I found out that he's done some pretty rotten things as well but I forgave him... we went through a lot and it did nothing but make us stronger. I know what I did was wrong and I have the worst concsious ever so I told him... it was my fault what I did and I had to deal with the consequences and I did... people don't come on here to be judged talaniman... we come on here for help and advice. I've had previous accounts on here just so people won't look on my other posts and judge me.. I haven't gotten one good advice on this site yet... I just have absolutely no one to go to here. I don't want people to think I seek attention or I'm dramatic and I don't want to be judged... I just come on here for help... hense the word "help" on the site name... anyway.. I realize it was bad that I cheated.. I just wanted to know if I was doing the right thing by keeping it from him so I didn't hurt him.. but I realized on my own that it was hurting me by keeping things from him.. I grow from my mistakes like everyone else does.. but I don't look for people to bring me down when I already feel sh!tty about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by atreyusmommy104

Tell him the truth you have to live with the consequences of your own actions. Yes your parents split up and that can be hard but drinking and partying isnt healping ur situation its making it worse. you can't avoid the pain it will just catch up to u later and be even worse

You were completely right about this post.. and honestly.. it was the most helpful, honest, and kindest post I've ever received... thank you so much.

Making numerous accounts only creates confusion. I'm glad things worked out, by you coming clean. All I said was that he deserved to know the truth, and then he can make his decision. Hopefully you have your drinking problem figured out and the lying has stopped.