I have a 3 year old son. The man who signed his birth certificate is not his dad. His real dad walked out when I was 5 months pregnant. The man who signed the birth certificate left when my son was 6 months old. Neither man wants anything to do with me or my son and neither man has ever supported my son. The man who signed the birth certificate has a court order to pay child support but he still hasn't. I recently ran into him again online and he has agreed to sign away his rights. He said my son isn't his son. We just don't know how to go about getting that taken care of. I want to raise him & his sister alone.please help. I live in Connecticut. The man lives in Pennsylvania but lived in louisianna at the time of the court order. Thanks.

I have a 3 year old son. The man who signed his birth certificate is not his dad. His real dad walked out when I was 5 months pregnant. The man who signed the birth certificate left when my son was 6 months old. Neither man wants anything to do with me or my son and neither man has ever supported my son. The man who signed the birth certificate has a court order to pay child support but he still hasn't. I recently ran into him again online and he has agreed to sign away his rights. He said my son isn't his son. We just don't know how to go about getting that taken care of. I want to raise him & his sister alone.please help. I live in Connecticut. The man lives in Pennsylvania but lived in louisianna at the time of the court order. Thanks.


****moderator edit**** please do not post more than once, it takes a bit to get answers sometimes, I have merged the two posts and all of the answers. FC****

You can't expect the non-father to pay child support. First you need to go to court and get that straighten up. Next you have to get the real fathers name on baby's cert. That may be hard since he denies it. You may need a DNA test. With him living so far way this could be hard. My advice to you is get a lawyer. In some counties this is free.
Good luck and God Bless.

You need to pitetion the court. It is a pain. I live in VT and my husbands Son live in PA. We are going trough kind of the same stuff. I do wish you luck but you shouldn't have to do it alone. It takes two people to make a baby and it takes to to raise and support a child. If you can do it the more power to you and you need a pat on the back for doing this. With the times as tight as they are you must be one strong person

Well actually you can expect the non father to pay support you have a court order that he did not fight, In several US states if the non father is listed on the birth certificate and he does not go to court within a certain amount of time to dispute it, he will be considered the legal father and forced to pay child support *** I don't agree but that is the law in several states

What you will need to do, is hire an attorney who will make a motion to have a DNA test done to prove non father is not father and that real father is, then you will get a child support order on the real father who will have to pay support.
*** who cares what he wants.

Getting a Termination of Parental Rights is very difficult. Generally they are only granted to clear the way for adoption or when the parent is a danger to the child.

Since both the bio and the legal father have expressed a desire to not having anything to do with the child, then I don't see why you have to do anything. Just raise the kids on your own and forget about them.

The only problem you would have is if you apply for public assistance. In that case, the state will want to enforce support from the legal father.

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Originally Posted by russnat2003

You need to pitetion the court. It is a pain. I live in VT and my husbands Son live in PA. We are going trough kinda the same stuff. I do wish you luck but you shouldnt have to do it alone. It takes two people to make a baby and it takes to to raise and support a child. If you can do it the more power to you and you need a pat on the back for doing this. With the times as tight as they are you must be one strong person

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Thank you. He doesn't want to be a dad. Trust me,he is too controlling and I wouldn't want him back in my life or my son's life. I have a new guy who loves my kids and wants to raise them as his own.

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Originally Posted by isabelle

You can't expect the non-father to pay child support. First you need to go to court and get that straighten up. Next you have to get the real fathers name on babys cert. That may be hard since he denies it. You may need a DNA test. With him living so far way this could be hard. My advice to you is get a lawyer. In some counties this is free.
Good luck and God Bless.

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First of all,the real father wants nothing to do with us. Secondly,the man who signed the birth certificate still loves me and wants me back,but he doesn't want to raise or support my son. I don't expect him to because he isn't really his dad. I don't want either of these men back.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well actually you can expect the non father to pay support you have a court order that he did not fight, In several US states if the non father is listed on the birth certificate and he does not go to court within a certain amount of time to dispute it, he will be considered the legal father and forced to pay child support *** I don't agree but that is the law in several states

What you will need to do, is hire an attorney who will make a motion to have a DNA test done to prove non father is not father and that real father is, then you will get a child support order on the real father who will have to pay support.
*** who cares what he wants.

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I like the way you think-"who cares what he wants". I can't afford a lawyer. Mike never went to court to dispute anything. Mike roams from state to state. He doesn't stay in one place very long. The court order was the state of louisanna vs. mike. I didn't ask for support. The state of Connecticut child support enforcement unit has. He asked me to get the paperwork and he would sign it. I don't know where to get paperwork.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Getting a Termination of Parental Rights is very difficult. Generally they are only granted to clear the way for adoption or when the parent is a danger to the child.

Since both the bio and the legal father have expressed a desire to not having anything to do with the child, then I don't see why you have to do anything. Just raise the kids on your own and forget about them.

The only problem you would have is if you apply for public assistance. In that case, the state will want to enforce support from the legal father.

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I did apply for public assistance and the state did enforce support. They have a court order from louisanna(where mike used to live). He lives in Pennsylvania now according to his myspace profile but he doesn't stay in one place very long.

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Originally Posted by ctmom1976

i didn't ask for support. the state of connecticut child support enforcement unit has. he asked me to get the paperwork and he would sign it. i don't know where to get paperwork.

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Yes, if you apply for public assistance, the state wants reimbursement from the legal father.

There is no form that can be signed. A petition has to be made in court. That's why you need an attorney.

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Originally Posted by ctmom1976

. i have a new guy who loves my kids and wants to raise them as his own.

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Then your best bet is marry this guy and have him adopt your kids. This will make him the legal father and end anyone else's rights AND responsibilities.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yes, if you apply for public assistance, the state wants reimbursement from the legal father.

There is no form that can be signed. A petition has to be made in court. That's why you need an attorney.



Then your best bet is marry this guy and have him adopt your kids. This will make him the legal father and end anyone else's rights AND responsibilities.

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My son has the guy's last name who signed the birth certificate. So if I marry scott, and he adopts my son, my son can take his last name?

Yes. Once the adoption is finalized, your new husband would be your son's legal parent and can use his name.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yes. once the adoption is finalized, your new husband would be your son's legal parent and can use his name.

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Thank you. I like that answer.

If you are with another man that wants to raise them then get married and after a year have him adopt. That means you will have to have an attorney (required for all adoptions) and if the legal father really doesn't want anything to do with them then it should go pretty smoothly you just have to pass that one year of marriage mark first.

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Originally Posted by stinawords

If you are with another man that wants to raise them then get married and after a year have him adopt. That means you will have to have an attorney (required for all adoptions) and if the legal father really doesn't want anything to do with them then it should go pretty smoothly you just have to pass that one year of marriage mark first.

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OK thank you. I will try to convince scott that we should get married. I know once we're married,we will stay married.

Hey I'm already married and I'm not planning on bigamy :D

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Hey I'm already married and I'm not planning on bigamy :D

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Good for you. I'm not the type of woman who would ever stray on scott. He is the love of my life.

I'll give you California's perspective. The guy on the birth certificate would have had to also have signed a voluntary declaration of paternity (pop-dec) - it's a prerequisite to listing a child's father on a birth certificate if the child is born to an unmarried mom. So he's the legal dad. Second, it's too late to set aside the pop-dec unless less than 6 months has passed since the support order was entered. This is because the child is older than 2- there's a 2 year statute of limitations of sorts on setting aside pop-dec's.

Relinquishing parental rights? No can do. We have a fairly new case (I think it came out 2 years ago) saying parties cannot stipulate to termination of parental rights unless there is someone else out there waiting in the wings to adopt and co-parent the child. It's contrary to public policy and, above all else, it deprives a child of a parent! You know who the real victim is in this case? The poor little boy. He's the one I feel sorry for.

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Originally Posted by cadillac59

I'll give you California's perspective. The guy on the birth certificate would have had to also have signed a voluntary declaration of paternity (pop-dec) - it's a prerequisite to listing a child's father on a birth certificate if the child is born to an unmarried mom. So he's the legal dad. Second, it's too late to set aside the pop-dec unless less than 6 months has passed since the support order was entered. This is because the child is older than 2- there's a 2 year statute of limitations of sorts on setting aside pop-dec's.

Relinquishing parental rights? No can do. We have a fairly new case (I think it came out 2 years ago) saying parties cannot stipulate to termination of parental rights unless there is someone else out there waiting in the wings to adopt and co-parent the child. It's contrary to public policy and, above all else, it deprives a child of a parent! You know who the real victim is in this case? The poor little boy. He's the one I feel sorry for.

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I feel bad for my son too. He has me, a sister, and the man I love. He was a baby when the man who signed his birth certificate walked out on us and he wasn't even born yet when his real daddy walked out on us. He doesn't have a daddy and I know I'm to blame for that because I made poor judgements. I just want him to know someone as a daddy.

It's sounds like he'll be okay and have a daddy someday. After all, being a real dad doesn't have anything to do with biology!