Ask Me Help Desk - Bisexual? Lesbian?

Well hi everyone. I have a problem. I am 18 years old, and ever since I was younger I have always been attracted to girls majorly! I am not physically atrracted to any male. I do have a boyfriend and I've been with him for a year, but every time we get intimate I always think about girls to climax. Girls are sexy and I find myself thinking about going down on girls, boobs, and getting kinky with them. I know other girls don't feel this. I love a person for who they are rather than their gender but I have never been with a girl before, but I have kissed a few. Am I bisexual, lesbian or what? I figured this would go away but it never has. There's nothing better than a girl. I would rather masterbate to get pleasure than have sex.please help! Thanks!!

You're trying to have a baby with this man, you're only 18, have been trying for a year----and you don't even enjoy sex with him?

You have bigger problems, honey, than figuring out your sexual orientation. You need to figure out how to tell your fiancé that you're not actually attracted to him and don't enjoy sex with him, THEN figure out how to break up with him---because essentially you're lying to him about your feelings. How would YOU feel if he were really attracted to someone else, who he had to think about while having sex with you?

Go see a counselor--it sounds to me like you aren't really sure WHAT you want

I'll agree, get counseling and stop trying to have a baby. Later in a few years when you have figured out what you want in life THEN and ONLY THEN consider having a kid. Having one now is only going to make a mess out of three lives. You are going to wreck his life, Its going to make life hard for the kid, and we already know you don't have it all figured out much less be in a position to pay for and raise a kid at this time. It will hold you back in life.

I'm confused... I know that having sex, even protected sex, still puts the pregnancy risk out there, but where is it written that the OP is trying to have children?

Also, she calls him her boyfriend, not her fiancé...

Is it possible that the OP changed her original post? Because the answers and the questions don't completely line up...

In any case, yes, it is wrong to be deceiving this guy. He is investing all of his time and energy into a relationship with you, and I'm sure he expects honesty at all levels from your side in return.

If you are not attracted to any male, ever, well, I don't see where the bi part comes in... a gay person might be married to a person of the opposite sex, but that doesn't make him or her any less gay, in my opinion. Being gay (or bi, or straight) comes down to what's in your head, not what you're doing that's contrary to it on the outside.

In her other posts, Linnaland. I often, in the course of moderating, look at a posters OTHER posts, and turned up her attempts to try to conceive through those posts.

I think you are in the process of growing up and finding out who you are sexually as well as in other ways.

I think all you can say with certainty at this time is that you are very attracted to women as sex objects.. not so attracted to men as sex objects. You may be too young to have sex based on a serious relationship at this time.

There must be some reason why you haven't had sex with a woman at this point?? Not wanting to be labelled as "gay" at this time?

A lot more experiences ahead for you... just don't do anything permanent now as you have some growing to do. You don't want to "stunt" your growth by taking on things that are wrong for you now.

Best wishes, :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

In her other posts, Linnaland. I often, in the course of moderating, look at a posters OTHER posts, and turned up her attempts to try to conceive through those posts.

That is very clever of you, my friend. Someone should make you a detective... or a spy! :) I'm impressed. I do check other posts/threads by OP's, but not every time. I'm sure not everybody else does either, so it's worth hearing the additional information from you. In any case, I'm sure you can understand why I asked the question. Those are not tiny details, and I'm surprised by the OP's whole story... that's not good.

I'm not in the habit of going through the pregnancy/motherhood threads, but now that I've seen the other questions you posted, hollywood, I am changing my opinion to *deeply disturbed.*

You need to stop what you're doing in its tracks. I don't know what kind of plastic brain implants they've been giving to you in hollywood, but life is not the same thing as a movie.

Desperately trying to have a baby from age 17to 18, PLUS not even being attracted to the sex of the person with whom you are in a relationship means that you need to stop doing what you're doing. Right now.

I don't know what you've been thinking in making your choices thus far, but you can't go around playing with fire without getting burned.

You're talking about very permanent adult decisions that you can't possibly be adult enough to completely understand. You can't have a baby just because you think it would be fun, or because they're cute, or because you want to be loved, or because you're lonely, or... if you think you're really, really responsible, then get a little dog.

For now, the only part of your sexuality that applies here, at least as far as I'm concerned, is that if you really aren't attracted to men, how were you even planning to keep the baby's father in the picture?

Just stop the baby making for right now. Figure the rest of your life out. Do the growing up you need to do. And then, years from now, if you come to a solid place with a foundation solid enough for the 18 years it takes to raise a healthy child (minimum!), and you are grown up enough to handle every part of motherhood, and you have a partner who is at least the same... THEN you can start to discuss your options. But don't throw a baby into your life now. For so many reasons, it wouldn't be fair to the child.