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The next time I meet someone, how do I approach a relationship in regards to when I find myself really feeling a woman, and feeling that I can really be with this person. How do I approach that. You know without rushing things or making a mistake etc... Do I still just play it cool and smooth, and just relax, or..
Just want to know for future reference...
Ah I'm in the same boat as you somewhat, I have not picked up or ask a women out in 3 years, I have no idea what to do, how to tell if a woman is interested in me ah.
Yea I've been out of a relationship for about a couple of months... the most hurtful and confusing experience I've had. And now I'm just turning it over a making it out of an learning experience now. Just making sure I don't make the same mistakes again.
For me it only take one time for me to get hurt badly for me to wake up and say "hold up, what did I do wrong, so I won't make the same mistakes again."
From reading your other posts SweetGuy, you seem like a good guy. Early on, show that you are a guy that is in demand. Show that you are a man. Show confidence. If you have none, fake it until you make it. Do not come on too strong, sometimes showing interest and then backing off a bit also helps to stir a girls emotions. I know this from personal experience.
One of the biggest thing I think that happened with you is that you were TOO nice. Try not to be a door mat. Do not be at her beckoning whim, do not be afraid to say no and stand up for yourself just because you are afraid she will not like you anymore. It will probably make her want/respect you more because you aren't afraid to say no to an attractive woman.
Don't get too hung up over things either. If she gets distant or busy with you, just let it roll off your back. Don't start in with the "Im feeling you are distant" talks and start questioning them and all that other stuff. Let it roll off your back, show them you are doing other things, have fun with other people, including other GIRLS.
If you go on a break, do not beg, do not plead, do not show how broken you are. Simply shrug it off and tell her. "Sure, whatever" and leave it at that. She'll be stunned about how cool and unaffected you ar e that you'll be a total badass compared to any other guy she's been with. Just some things I think would help you in the future. I don't want to see you taken advantage of again, you're a good guy.
Quit over analyzing things. Just be yourself, that is all you can do. Play it cool, smooth and just relax. You have nothing to worry about. You worry way too much man! Life is 50/50 when it comes to doing things yourself and enjoying things that come to you.
You're a good guy.
A little obsessive ;) but a good guy none the less.
When you do find out you really like someone, remember not everyone shows feelings in the same way.
All you can be is be yourself because if you try and be something else your true self will show later on and that can be a big problem
My only advice is.
Don't be needy or Clingy
And just take it as it comes
I was like you once
And I had about as much luck in relationship as a turky on christmass day.
I would lose my head.
It's a hard thing to do
But you will change anyway. Because of your last relationship. When you get into a new one. All the things you have learnt from here will pop up and you will soon see how to deal with a few things more better.
Good luck
Do I really over analyze everything?? I try not to.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
You do a little, I know this because I'm the same. Do what I said and I think it will help you 150%.
Yes, you overanalyze things. I am surprised your mind doesn't explode. I also am that way as well. I develop headaches sometimes because I over think too many things. Just take it from me, it isn't worth it. High Max gave you some good advice now stick to it. One thing you CANNOT worry about is trying to hurry and find someone to fill the void left by your ex. Don't do that. Learn to be unconditionally happy with yourself first, then LET things happen with another girl. Don't over pursue or get anxious about it.
Life is a lot like the ocean, with us as the beach/coast line. The tides keep on coming up... nothing can stop them. You never know what will get washed away and what will get washed up to you!
Yeah I get those same headaches too! Yes... I over think everything... and read in too much to things also...Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
But that advice High Max gave me was really good! I hear you!
What does that mean??Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
It means plain and simple: Life carries on, with or with you. It takes things away and it brings things to you. It is up to you and YOU only to realize this. Have you ever seen the waves hitting a beach? They roll up on the coast, wipe away the past and bring in the future, so to say. (In other words, when you walk on the beach, your footprints are there. When the tide rolls up, it covers your prints back up... but, it also can wash up new things from far away).
...
...
Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Life brings about changes... Life is mostly about how I react to what happens, what it brings and what it takes away..?
Is that close to what you are saying??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23
When the girl backs off just do the same. It's kind of like a dance =). Don't ignore her and don't give her too much attention got to find the sweet spot make her really miss you!
What it means is that you never know what will happen, but in the end EVERYTHING happens for a reason, no matter how good or how devastating it may be. We have a choice, Every time something happens on how we carry ourselves and how we eventually come out of each situation.
Yea... everything happens for a reason. But right we do have a choice in every situation we come across whether good or bad in life. Its how we react... wow!Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Just have to make sure that no matter what situation comes my way... being good or bad that I stay true to myself and who I am as a person... and do the right thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23
To add to that its all comes down to me. As long as I take care of my part.
Yea true... I do come on strong with someone I really like (I did that with my last girlfriend... she even told once I was too sweet).Quote:
Originally Posted by High Max
I was way too nice. I was afraid to stand up for myself because of that fear that she will not like me anymore. I was afraid to say no.. I gave in every time...Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
"Im feeling you are distant"
I gave her that talk multiple times! I was questioning her a lot as a matter of fact!
So if that situation ever happens again when they back off, what should I do???
Man I was pleading, begging: I showed how broken I was. Man!! I won't do that again.Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
"Don't show my weaknesses or how broken I am" Got it!!!
You know I was thinking... when she started pulling back from me, I got worried and I did have the "Im feeling you are being distant" talks... and I started asking questions... but I was only doing that because I was just making sure she was okay... and that we were okay... but I don't think she saw it that way...Quote:
Originally Posted by High Max
But just like you said... don't do that... just let roll off my back... don't get hung up on things
Then back when I remember... that night when she told me that she wasn't as excited as she was in the beginning. Then me asking her do she love me and her not saying a word, no response.
I stopped meeting girls when me and her was together... I cut all of that off...
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