Why do I need to be in a relationship
It's been a while since I posted here. Nothing became of the girls I worried about, and I became stronger/worked on myself/moved on. Whenever I find myself in a situation where I have no girl "situations" to worry about, I find myself content. Yea, I really want to get married/have kids etc... But whenever I find myself in a "drama situation" it almost invariably revolves around a girl I like.
For example, I have a small journal that I write in whenever I have things bothering me. 95% of my entries revolve around some girl. I've literally gone 1-2 months with not writing in it when I don't have a girl situation on my mind. I have an awful lot going for me in life and it seems I am totally content when I do not have females to worry about.
For example, take my current situation.
I met a girl through a cousin of mine. She seems very nice, like we have a lot in common, cute etc... While I have not gotten a single "no" signal from her, I have gotten several go signals (atleast I see them like that, perhaps others can interpret them)
- I went over to her house for a get together, she seemed to pay much more attention to me than anyone else (offered me an individual tour of the house, always positioned herself around me, rode in my car etc... ) even though there were a few other single guys there
- Kept asking me questions like if I had a Facebook account, said she was going to stalk me on there (in a joking way)
- My cousin (who is engaged) asked her what an old pair of keys she had hanging up were for. She mentioned how they were for her heart (and she gave me glances when she spoke about them. They seemed to "make sure he is paying attention" glances) BTW, I don't think she actually kept them for that reason, she seemed to be half kidding.
- In our email conversations she keeps bringing up how it's cool we have so much in common, how I impress her and how we will need to talk about this and that in person and how we should do whatever together in person
Perhaps I am misinterpreting things, but I should feel pretty good about this? Yet, I have been pretty unhappy all week. I find myself wanting. I can't wait for that next email from her. I want to see her. I want her to like me etc... I keep re-reading the emails we've sent.
But that also scares me. I do not like this feeling of want. It is much more peaceful when I have nobody to "want" about and can focus on myself. I am scared maybe I am looking way too much into this.
My main question is that if this is normal, and if anyone has any advice on it?