All right... Im 3 months pregnant with my first child and, as many expecting mothers Im sure, I am severely afraid of having a child with disabilities.
My husband and I have a fairy tale relationship. We spend long mornings in bed cuddling, we date a lot, we go for long walks holding hands... I can't even explain. I love him.
My fear is that we will have a disabled child, who is disabled past the point of ever being able to function on their own. In my mind a prison sentence would be more appreciated.
I know that giving the child for adoption is an option, which to some, or many, would seem an atrocity. My husband and I have already discussed this and were the situation to arise that would be the first option.
Im concerned about the ostracism in our social setting. I know myself, I couldn't handle it.
Im relaatively prepared as anyone could be for a child... and I know I'm being a pessimist, almost EXPECTING to have a disabled child.
It's stressing me to the max. Maybe its pregnant hormones, but sometimes I just almost break down thinking about what I would do.
Im just looking for some insight. Good or bad just tell me what you think.

Thanks

You know now a days they can do a lot of testing while your pregnant for anything abnormal. They can do a genteric test,etc. Don't worry too much over it and you can always address any issues with your doctor. Was anyone in your family or his born disable?

Be stress while your pregnant isn't good, for you or the baby. So relax and think good thoughts and express your fears with your doctor.

I always say... we tend to create our own hell, and that's exactly what you're doing right now.

You can fret about anything you want, but why aren't you fretting about being in a debilitating accident every time you get in the car? The odds are higher than a having disabled child... so it makes more sense to be scared of your car.

However, the mind is a nasty taskmaster. If you don't funnel its energies into healthy activities, it WILL entertain itself... the way yours is doing now.

The answer is simple... cut it out. Now the hard part... cutting it out. Only you know what kind of noise is needed to drown out this much mental silliness, but however much noise is needed... make it.

I am the mother of a special needs child. I found out at 16 weeks gestation. Your doctor should be doing certain tests to determine if your baby is developing normally.

I was given genetic counseling and hubby I and went through genetic testing and it was determined to be just one of those things. The doctors suggested abortion which wasn't even a consideration for me, but if you are that adverse to birthing a disabled child, it is an option.

My son is one of the biggest joys in my life. Don't obsess over something you have no control over - just be prepared to make a big decision should the need arise.

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Originally Posted by Emland

I am the mother of a special needs child. I found out at 16 weeks gestation. Your doctor should be doing certain tests to determine if your baby is developing normally.

I was given genetic counseling and hubby I and went through genetic testing and it was determined to be just one of those things. The doctors suggested abortion which wasn't even a consideration for me, but if you are that adverse to birthing a disabled child, it is an option.

My son is one of the biggest joys in my life. Don't obsess over something you have no control over - just be prepared to make a big decision should the need arise.

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Not an option.

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Originally Posted by liz28

You know now a days they can do alot of testing while your pregnant for anything abnormal. They can do a genteric test,etc. Don't worry too much over it and you can always address any issues with your doctor. Was anyone in your family or his born disable?

Be stress while your pregnant isn't good, for you or the baby. So relax and think good thoughts and express your fears with your doctor.

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No, there's no record of disability in my family, just diabetes and addiction. Yay.

Firstly, this is a very common fear among pregnant women. Hormones do very strange things to our imagination.

Now, you mention "ONE Lord ONE Faith" in your signature. Have faith in the Lord that you will have a perfect child. Have faith in the Lord that if you don't there is a reason for that.

Trust Jesus.

I would say that it is normal to be concerned that something will go wrong with your baby. I think that maybe you are obsessing (there is always the possibility that there is something wrong, and something is trying to let you know... but I think that this is less probable).

To ease your mind talk to your OB/Gyn of your concerns. They should be able to offer you something like amniocentesis to screen for any abnormal fetal development.

Try to focus on all the things that excite you about becoming a mother... not all the things that frighten you. Be prepared for the worst, but expect the best. Get the nursery ready!

I understand what you are going through, as probably most women who've been pregnant do as well. I was frightened to the point of tears a few times, knowing that I had disabilities in my family that made my child at a slightly higher risk for such things. However, knowing that the knowledge of such things would make me cry myself to sleep at night, and knowing I would love my child no less if disabled, I had no test run. My son is perfect. And I have a few of those "certain" disabilities in my family that the doctors ask about.
I wouldn't worry about it too much. To tell you not to worry at all, is futile, because you will worry until you know for sure.
Just know that if something goes a different way than you would like for it to go, then there are families out there that are prepared to take care and love a disabled child, just as they are a perfectly healthy one. And if this be the road in which you feel you must choose, then that is what is best for you, and you should not be ostracised, or condemned for doing such things.
Again, I would try no to worry. Have a happy pregnancy, it's worth it. Talk to you OB, and good luck.

If you are so afraid, ask your OBgYN for an amniocentesis. The results are almost 100% proof positive of a genetic defect.

My concern is that you are such a God fearing woman, why would you give up a baby less than perfect, as we know it, when you made it through love. Sometimes the Lord blesses us in ways we don't understand until years later.