Originally Posted by
ScottGem
First let me see if I have this straight. Up to two months ago, you were all living together. But she had full legal custody?
Then she got mad, moved out with the kids, filed for child support and is refusing visitation? All within the last 2 months?
No. We seperated almost two years ago. I asked her to move out, and at first she took the kids with her to her mothers. About three months went by while we were living apart and trying to work things out, to no avail. They became too much for her to handle by herself while trying to work and goto college, so she brought our daughters to live with me. During the last two years, they have spent 90% of that time living with me, while she has had full legal custody. I do have proof of this in many forms other than "hear say".
During this time she had filed for TANF and FOOD STAMPS. They required the father of her children to pay support. She filed for support about a year ago. While they were living with me. I have had to pay support while they were living with me. I had been providing everything for them. She paid me no support at all, nor did she even offer to help with transportation to doctor appt.'s, nor buy diapers, milk, food etc.
It was also during this time that the initial hearing to discuss custody and child support happened that I could not attend. At that hearing they decided child support amounts and appointed custody.
Everything was fine until two months ago. She had legal custody, while I had physical custody *not court appointed*. She wasn't really a part of their life even though I wanted her to be, so I just assumed this was how my crappy life would be and settled for at least having my two children in my life.
The reason she came and took my daughters is because I had a lawyer send her a statement asking for joint legal custody, on specific terms. I having physical custody, and her having joint legal. This pissed her off and she came and picked up our children and I haven't seen them since. Despite many attempts and begging.
Four months ago, I enrolled my oldest daughter *4 years old* into a pre-school. Since she has had physical custody during these last two months she was responsible for taking our daughter to school. She didn't want to, so she withdrew her from school entirely. She has no job, no car, and lives with her mother refusing to do anything but soak up TANF / Child Support.
In a nutshell, there you have it, I hope this conveys enough information for you.
You can't just write a letter. You have to file a petition in Family Court for visitation. You can check with the court clerk on what form this petition needs to take. Once the petition is accepted a hearing will be set where you can both present your case. I would suggest that you petititon for joint legal custody as well as visistation. I can see her having full physical custody, but not full legal custody.