I had my heartbroken 2 years ago, when I was 19, by my best friend, a man I thought I'd marry. We started as friends because we worked together & I fell in love with him. For the first time in my life I let myself become dependent on someone, I let my guard down. I let someone care about me & take care of me. He treated me with respect & he saw me at my best & my worst. He led me on for a long time & for a long time, I waited. Then one day he left. He didn't say where he was going, just that he got a new job & he'd call me soon & come see me. The last time he called we talked briefly then he said he had to go but he'd call me soon. He never did. I'm still waiting for that phone call.

I became terrified of relationships, I dated a guy for about a month after my guy left. The new guy tried things with me that I didn't want to do so he called me a slut & told me I was easy. Which doesn't make sense because I didn't do anything, I stopped him. Between having my heart broken & a bad make out session, I decided no relationship was worth it but I want one. I want someone to love me. I'm just so scared of getting hurt again that I can't bring myself to date anyone. I have been pushing guys away & I don't know how to change that. I still hurt from the guy who broke my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him or want him in my life. I don't really think it's fair to date someone new if I'm still all hung up on the old guy. As much as I love him, I want him out of my mind & my heart. I don't know how to do that though.

Sorry about that, but trust me in life this happens. Its just meant that you be more an dmore stronger and remember this, God always introduces us to the wrong one first so that when we gte the right one, we cherish and love them.

I was in the same situation few years back. We met and were almost there getting married, Family were OK ,all was fine. When he said he has an offer and has to fly to another country. I was OK thinking he wld call me but then that was it... He wld hardly call... so much so that I went there only to know that he is seeing someone else, (Who apparently was a friend of mine) and they getting married... I was broken but then again time is the best healer. The more you think that you want to forget him, the mo re you rem him. Just let him be. Just be happy and thankful that you at least got to spend those moments with him.. Its easy to write but then I have gone through all this...
That was 5 years back...

Today I'm happily married with the guy I love and have no regrets.

Just wait for the right time girl and all wld be OK...

If "HE" has bought you "TO" it then "HE" would take you "THRU" it also...

You also have to learn to love YOURSELF first. It seems that you have some self esteem issues due to the way you have been treated in the past. First and foremost, you need to get over these issues. It seems that you only want someone to love you to make yourself feel better, but in the end it is about being happy with yourself. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. Work on yourself and work on getting your life the way YOU want it, and then you will find someone who deserves to be A PART, of your life, and not your entire life. You just need to let time and your own actions heal the emotional wounds you still have. Nothing else can do it, especially not a replacement partner. Take your time, do things you want to do that help YOU, and enjoy your life. Before you know it you run into someone that is the perfect match. Don't expect it or be in a hurry to find it, just let it happen.

Sorry for what you've gone through, bad experiences, tend to make us afraid, and confused, as to how to keep moving forward.

A relationship may be beyond you, but taking a proactive part in building a life around things, and people, you enjoy, and trust, will bring back some satisfaction, and give you a sense of control, over your own happiness.

Things will go from there, and the good news is there is no hurry, just enjoy the doing for yourself and get the love you have for the person you are back again.

Takes time, and work, but the rewards of working for yourself, is rich, and fulfilling.

Click on the links in my signature, and get some good ideas.

There's a great book by John Grey called Mars and Venus Starting Over. The book contains a lot of great information on how to heal a broken heart after a break-up and also contains some really great exercises, if you can, I would high recommend picking up a copy of the book.

However, I will give you a slight summary which I hope will provide a bit more of an immediate course of action for you.

There are 4 healing emotions that a person must experience in order to emotionally heal from a traumatic experience. They are anger, fear, sorrow and sadness.

Usually, the counterbalancing emotion to fear is anger. You are expressing many fearful emotions, such as the fact that you are afraid of trusting. In order release the experience, you must experience anger.

Sit down and write a letter to your ex about everything that you're angry about. In your letter tell him exactly why you are angry at him. Tell him all the things he did to you that you didn't want him to do. Let out all of these emotions.

By the way, I only recommend material that I've personally found success with and this book is one of the few mainstream relationship books I own. The letter writing exercise is extremely powerful and has helped me find emotional release in many issues.

Good luck and I hope that helps.