Ask Me Help Desk - Axes to grind

I am consumed with revengful thoughts. I want to get back at those who have wronged me, made me feel bad. I actually feel good when I think of innocuous ways to mess with people. I think everyone has an agenda in society. Control, power and influence seem to run through society like a common thread. If someone can't control you, have power over you or can't influence you then they will have nothing to do with you.
I always seem to lose any social transaction I enter into. I get ignored after a time and for some reason I cannot stand to be ignored and even though I know this, I can't overcome it. Anyone who ignores me I think is a bad person. I think people who ignore others on purpose are the worst people on the planet.

I think anyone who will reply to this should possess empathy because if you don't know how I feel your wasting time.
It's like if you never smoked you have no business telling others to quit.
Understand?

So what's your agenda? And yes .I got that!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shunned

I am consumed with revengful thoughts. I want to get back at those who have wronged me, made me feel bad. I actually feel good when I think of innocuous ways to mess with people.

Not uncommon to take some degree of pleasure (whether its "good" or not) when those who have wronged you go through some struggles. But really, if your life's ambition is to make those who wrong you suffer, then you really need to find some purpose in life, and I mean that truthfully. Revenge just isn't a particularly positive goal and if you thrive on it perhaps you end up playing the wronged person simply because you enjoy being a victim.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shunned

I always seem to lose any social transaction I enter into. I get ignored after a time and for some reason I cannot stand to be ignored and even though I know this, I can't overcome it. Anyone who ignores me I think is a bad person. I think people who ignore others on purpose are the worst people on the planet.

In social settings I'm rarely the center of attention. I just don't seem to hold people's attention as much as others, and sometimes its bothersome, but I certainly don't doom them to being the "worst people on the planet." you've got to be kidding me. Grow up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shunned

I think anyone who will reply to this should possess empathy because if you don't know how I feel your wasting time.
It's like if you never smoked you have no business telling others to quit.
got that?

So the only people who matter are those who feel exactly like you? But you're upset because you're wronged by people who are different and you cannot connect with them?. ah.

I've been ignored and I've been out of the social circles before and it can really suck. You need to rant? Fine. Everybody is entitled to making a little noise sometimes.

But this "got that" attitude... hmmmmm. Makes me want to ignore you. Now is that my fault or yours?

Never once in your post did you ask for help or seek counsel for this issue.

Do you really have anything important to add to the social transactions you enter into.

Maybe that is why people ignore you.

With me when somebody tells me that I have no right to do something normally I will annoy them.
So the whole GOT IT thing is rather childish don't you think.

Personally I don't like to go out in public and interact with people.
My tells me it is because I just don't play well with others.

But as an EMT I do get to meet a lot of different people.
For the most part you meet very good people on the worst day of their lives.

So get over it and find something you can contribute to or start something new.

Hi,
When people ignore another, it's because of attitudes of that person.
When you meet someone, here are some pointers (I HAVE been there, done that; so I am speaking from experience).
1. SMILE, and it shows you are a friendly person, and others will want to talk with you.
2. You can make more friends in a month by listening to others, than you can make in a year having them listen to you. Eventually, after talking for awhile with someone new, listening to them talk about themselves, they will begin asking you about yourself. It's OK then to talk about yourself, but not too much.
I don't know where you live, but in my local area in VA, not everyone is trying to take "control" over anybody.
I would suggest the 12 Steps of Recovery, from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Please don't get me wrong,; I am NOT saying you're an alcoholic. I AM saying that not being able to forget about bad things happening to you, is a sign of attitude; until it's changed, it will continue. Only you can change yourself, no one else can.
You can find the 12 Steps online, by searching, using Google, etc.
Go through all the 12 Steps, seriously, if you want to change some attitudes, and your life will start becoming much better, a day at a time.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

The funny thing about it is this:

When I actually make someone feel bad, my bad feelings don't magically disappear like I imagined they would. In fact, later they resurrect even bigger as guilty bad feelings since I eventually figure out I am just like those who I was rallying against! YIKES!

The only way out of the mess I have ever found, difficult though it is, is to forgive who did me wrong and work to improve me. Whoever said the best revenge is to live well knew the secret. And so now I am telling it to you. The surest way to make the future repeat the past is hold onto and harp on the past. I sense that maybe it was them at first, but now its you doing it to you.

Never mind them, work on you. It is the only part of the equation you have any hope of changing. Is that empathetic enough for you?

As far as people wanting to ignore you. You show some attitude. For example at the end of your letter. GOT THAT. What is that. That shows attitude that is anti social. You do not even know any of us, yet your attitude already could isolate you. It is fine to rant. Everybody needs to rant. To get revenge on everybody that has wronged you, makes you just as bad as them, that is just my opinion. As far as being ignored, I do not like that at all. It is rude and ignorant when you are talking with somebody and they purposely ignore you. I have had that happen with family members too. I did not react to good to it at all. Anyway good luck with anything you want to do in your life. Remember life is a learning school of sorts. How we react to every situation effects everybody else. Revenge just causes more hurt which will intern effect you negatively in the long run.

Joe

I was very upset when I posted this, so have since edited it to make it less brutish.

What precipitated this post was that I left a website that I liked because someone threatened me physically and the moderator didn't think it was a big deal. The threatener was a long standing member with many posts and apparently many friends on the site and since I wasn't there but a year I was basically laughed at for overreacting.
So I didn't feel to great about all that transpired. I know online communication is tricky, and you should take everything with a grain of salt but I didn't like being ignored when I emailed the owner of the site and certainly did not like his unconcerned attitude about it. If I sneeze the wrong way I get fingers pointing at me from all directions but some people, with the right friends in the right places, can abuse anyone without consequences.

Now that you've calmed down a little welcome to the site and I'm sure you won't be ignored but fair warning-some of us are a little wacky so bring a sense of humor.:cool: ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by shunned

If I sneeze the wrong way I get fingers pointing at me from all directions but some people, with the right friends in the right places, can abuse anyone without consequences.

Unfortunately this is true. It's wrong, it's terrible but it's life. As for the owner of the website in question not taking your concerns seriously, you can always notify the authorities about the threats you've received. Also don't overlook the power of the pen ; e-mail letters to the editors of every major newspaper in the country, which modern technology makes it easy to do, and totally rant and rave about the website and the owner's ineptitude in handling the situation. Urge everyone to boycott the website and explain your reasons. Sometimes when someone wrongs you, especially if they have "the right friends in the right places", you have to publicly call them on the carpet, not to be malicious but to hold them accountable. Remember, the more friends someone has, the more scrutiny they're under and the more they have to fight to protect their reputation. This is a weapon up your sleeve in that you can make things very difficult and embarrassing for them if they wrong you, especially if ultimately they have more to lose than you do by you showing your hand.

shunned-Sometimes you got to draw the line and make a decision

You can leave folks alone and stay out of there way

Or you can fight for what you think is RIGHT!

Make sure you know what's right!

From my experience I have found the Demons create obsessive thinking in people also. I know its not everyone's cup of tea but it has been proven time after time for many.
They will either give you thoughts of people or believe you can make a plane crash. Also counting your foot steps, seconds in time etc. Their purpose to send the person mad.
Another avenue to investigate
www.spiritremoval.com
Homecoming

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homecoming

From my experience i have found the Demons create obsessive thinking in people also. I know its not everyones cup of tea but it has been proven time after time for many.
They will either give you thoughts of people or believe you can make a plane crash. Also counting your foot steps, seconds in time etc. Their purpose to send the person mad.
Another avenue to investigate
www.spiritremoval.com
Homecoming

You mean like avoiding cracks in the sidewalks, too?

Seek professional help, now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by txgreasemonkey

Seek professional help, now.

Like Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets? :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by txgreasemonkey

Seek professional help, now.

As in qualified professional.

More like Jack Nicholson in the movie The Shinning.
Revengfull thoughts on how to win the next fight with who ever.
Homecoming

No one can belittle you without your permission.

Learn to accept yourself and love yourself as you are, not if you can fit into a clique.

You can decide one of two ways about it: please others and never speak your mind so you can be everyone's friend OR you can be yourself and to hell with anyone who can't accept ideals and people who are different.

Just remember that to be accepted for having your own opinion, you have to accept other's to have their own.

Even if it's a negative one about you.. whether or not they want to challenge it by allowing you to defend yourself or not is up to how ignorant they wish to remain with the world around them. At the end of the day, their reflections about you is more about them than it is about you.

Quote:

but some people, with the right friends in the right places, can abuse anyone without consequences.

Something I noticed with all these online cliques and how we distort what we see in others.. and it carries into real life as well:
A friend who accepts double standards is nothing more than a close enemy. An enemy that will point out what can be fixed is a helpful peer.
The worse enemy you can have is one that never speaks and quietly watches you fumble.
The best friend you can have will care enough to speak their mind to help you and not worry about how popular they are with you.

-I also want to add that just because a person has violent thoughts isn't altogether the same as acting them out.
A great deal of people I've met who admitted to violent thoughts about others often hurt themselves rather than hurt the other person. Physically, that is. (emotionally is a very different ballgame)

Often they never ever act them out in any way shape or form and just address these feelings as simple feelings.

So while you may have violent thoughts about these people, this does not make you altogether dangerous.

Acting on those feelings would.

Use what is negative on the outside to draw what is positive in the inside. This way is indirect, but it offers better opportunities.

Always trust what you feel, no matter how evil or sinister it may be. The darkest parts of you are simply pockets within you that you have never explored, have never gotten to know as much as you know what you think you know. Go into that hate, become one with it fully. Know its boundaries, see what it makes you do.

Simply sit in one spot and let it consume you, eat you from head to foot. But don't do anything with it. Don't take action. Yet. Just feel it in all its intensity and see in your mind what you are capable of doing. Can you imagine yourself killing someone by that hatred, by those evil thoughts? Can you see yourself just bashing the other guy's head in if you had the chance? Let these black feelings sweep over you and notice every thing that goes in your head. Remember what you see and feel and experience.

After a few days or so, ask yourself, with as much neutrality as possible: can you actually do it? Will you actually kill somebody over a lousy post? Of course not. What do we make of your previous experience then?

What you felt was simply energy. Black and evil and demonic if described in the presence of everybody else, but in the context of everything, in the context of the universe and the cosmos that is wide and all consuming, it was just a blip that nobody cared about. Realizing this, it makes you even feel more ignored, doesn't it.

But that is not how to use that energy. You do not use such a source of strength and power to let it consume you, in itself and by itself. You need to understand and learn how it can drive you. And in another pocket of your being lies some good or notion of good, of how things ought to be, of how you can be a better person. Use the black energy then to drive your notion of goodness.

Have you not noticed it? We are more ferocious when we are struggling 'against' something, rather than 'for' something. We dislike prejudice and bigotry and racial discrimination and other forms of discrimination, and are so eager to express it, instead of sermoning other people how they ought to behave along the lines of morality. If it strongly moves you so, be against inequality then, in areas of society where you can influence much. Whenever you work and you feel some slack, for example, use your past experiences of being looked down upon to drive you stronger. If you work out, use the rawness of being shunned to squeeze more pumps into your reps. You know what I mean.

I can empathize with you the same way I can empathize with Martin Luther King, Jr. and his own struggle. But Martin King was smart. He used his hatred in support of his higher notions. He came up with a way to assemble all others who felt slighted and shunned themselves, fought against the bigots and came out a hero in the process. He could have come up with a shotgun and went on a killing spree, blasting away every white guy in sight, but he wouldn't have gotten away with it, nor would he have gotten far. It would have been useless and ridiculous as well.

So your feelings aren't wrong. Feeling are never wrong! On the flipside, it actually shows that you care. You care much that any individual shouldn't be repressed by any authority, not on any stupid board and surely not in the real world, and certainly not with authority just because the other guy posts more than any other chap.

Not so many people feel as much as you do in this day and age. I think that most people have become desensitized, and that value and meaning and significance in life and its expressions, big and small around us have decayed and disintegrated. Simple courtesy is even something we've learned to not expect much of, especially on the web. You actually have something good that you can work on there, an unchanneled source of energy. I hope you use it wisely.