Well.. I have a boyfriend who is in to porn..

I know he is.. he told me.. and has been very open about it.. he says he wants to stop looking.. which I have seen evidence that he wants to stop..

Am I crazy to be with him? Some many thing I have read about women who have got married then found out wished they hadn't got married.. I'm a crazy to be dating him?

I don't know.. I'm just really confused right now about it all..

Anyone got any advice?

Thanks

Hello
Is the porn taking over his life , how much time and money does he spend on porn
I she forgeting about you ( in the Bed ) or making you do things that you are not comfortable with ( in the Bed )
It could just a fading interest either way too much of anything is not good?? Well maybe not ( in the BED ) its about your comfort level and porn watching
Maybe you could set it up a bit ( in the Bed )
Are you adding up all the reasons to end the relationship if so me honest with yourself
People do go through all types of vases in life some are forever changing of that person ans a lot fade with no memory
There is help groups for addiction??

How about...

How old are you both?

Consider porn an addiction just like drugs. If and this is a big IF he is wanting to stop, then he might need to seek professional help.

OK well I didn't really go in too much detail last night.. was in a bit of a rush when I came across this site..

We are both christians so therefore both believe in not having sex till you are married..

His addction started when he went through a hard time in his teen year..

Lately he hasn't been spending much time at all.. and has never spent money on it.. only what he gets off line for free...

The more I have read about it now.. he really isn't in to it very bad at all..

But it's more long term issues.. would it get to a stage where he would go to watching porn rather than sex with me? Thing like that..

I think you need to suggest counselling for him with his pastor.
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Guys like Porn... its normal. Guys are visual... we like looking at things and that included naked women. Its always been that way, it will always be that way. Best if you learn to deal with it and stop blaming any self esteme issues on him.

And contrary to what someone said... its NOT an addiction unless it becomes an obsession or takes up all of his time. And there is absolutely NO indication of that in this thread so far.

Being a Christian has absolutely nothing to do with it. I'm a Christian, and I love porn, in moderation of course. So does my wife, also a Christian.

If people do not believe that porn is addictive I guess they need to do some research. Here is one link for y'all to read!
new_addiction

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Originally Posted by 450donn

If people do not believe that porn is addictive I guess they need to do some research. Here is one link for y'all to read!
new_addiction

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People can and do get addicted to everything. Including food. Come on now. Porn isn't any more adictive than anything else and far less addictive than Booze or drugs.

Blaming porn is for an addictive personality isn't going to help the person with the addictive personality.

So some women are addicted to the Home Shooping channel, or soap operas... should we outlaw TV? Or anythiing else any person might possible get addicted to? That would spell an immediate end to the human race.

Anything in excess can be addictive. Ask anyone with a spending problem--people who go shopping to feel better about themselves. Ask anyone who eats to feel better about themselves, instead of eating to nourish their body or eating to enjoy food.

EVERYTHING has the potential to be addictive.

Addictive behaviour, however, is when it affects your dealings with other people and the world around you. If you NEED something in order to feel better, rather than just wanting it---you're addicted. If you can not walk away from something that is affecting you, your health, your relationships with others---then you're addicted to that something.

Can porn become addictive? Sure. So can shopping on Ebay, playing video games, and gossiping--all behaviours that happen online. Does every single person that ever looks at porn online (or otherwise) get addicted? Get real.

Using porn as a tool is one thing. Using it as a replacement for the real thing is another entirely.

Its one thing to question, nothing wrong with that, but another to fear without reason.

Don't assume, without talking about it with him.

So when is it wrong watching porn? When they don't want sex with you? When they would rather watch porn then come and have a cuddle with you? When they start trying to dress you like a porn star? When they start deleteing the history and snicking around about it? Do you have to be watching it everyday?? Well please tell. I think it becomes a problem when 1 off you don't feel comfortable with it

If you don't feel comfortable with it, then you should be up front FROM THE BEGINNING about it.

If you can't compromise on it, then you are not right for each other.

It's when both of you take a hard line, no compromise, that it starts to become a problem.

We all have to make major decisions in life, and life is much happier if we make the best decisions. I advise, don't chose misery.

That is why you look for red flags in looking for a man. Red flags always bring unhappiness in the long run, so it is best to avoid these men altogether.

Any man with an addiction... alcohol, drugs, porn/masturbation, gambling, and so on. Addicts ONLY CARE about satisfying their addiction. Addicts can't care about others in a loving caring way.

There are 300 million people in America... lots of good young men to chose from. :)

SO, make very sure this guy isn't overly involved with porn... that is my advice.

Best wishes,

Or with gambling, alcohol, drugs---equally, right?