Marriage Falling Apart, Hope Not
Ok here is the situation. My wife and I, have been married for 18 years and have two wonderful boys, 13 and 9. Now the problem is she is saying for unknown reasons her feelings for me are lessening. Here is a synopsis of the last year and half. I am in the military and from 17 July 07 - 05 July 08 I had a tour overseas unaccompained. During that time, I could only come back once and that was around Christmas for three weeks. After that tour, I came back took 35 days of leave (vacation) and went went on a family vacation. The best we have had! On August 9th, I had to report to my current duty station in VA on a ship for two years which will take me to retirement. Ok now for why the tours by myself. Honestly, no BSing, my goal for 18 years was to put my family first! If they are happy then I am. So with that said, about a year prior to going overseas we decided we wanted to retire where we were and with that we made the decision to purchase a house. The whole time we were planning this I knew what was a head of me/us, but again I knew how happy it would make her. So we purchased it. Since I've came back from the overseas tour she said her feelings towards me have lessened. Mine on the other hand have multiplied. There have been many occasions where I could have "stepped out" of the marriage, but this lady is great and is the woman of my dreams! I could never do that. Our current living arrangements have me 724 miles away, but since arriving here I have driven back five times on a Friday to spend Saturday there to only leave again on Sunday. This is a long weekend, but worth every mile of the drive. I just don't understand how she can feel this way. We have mutal friends and they have assured me that there is no one else in the picture and I believe this. As I said, I just don't understand. Normally I'm a fun person to be with try to live life to the fullest, but with the problems we are experiencing it has brought me down. All I really want to do, sad to say, is cry. I know I'm in a state of depression, but with the way things are I don't know how to get out of it. We talk about the problems when we need to. It is like while I'm there every thing is fine, but as time progresses the problems begin to come back. I know this by the way she talks and acts. A prime example is, I text her many times throughout the day and with each text I always end it in "I Love You," but after a few days of being gone I don't always get the same response. Another example is, I will put in there I Miss you and never rcv this response. We talked last night for three hours and told her that to make this work it will take both of us giving 110% nothing less and it has to be us both. If there is any negativity we are going to fail. We got off the phone and she seemed happy and agreed we are going to make this work. I told her that the only I don't see myself being with her is when I die. I mean this. This lady is the woman of my dreams! I am being very serious in this post! I am scheduled to be out to sea for a couple weeks and it will be very long, wondering and feeling the way I do. The plans are to go home for four days the first week of November and five days at Thanksgiving, but these days seem far away. If anyone can give me some advise I would appreciate it. All serious here, no playing around. I just can't see myself without and don't know what I would do if something did happen. One more thing, while overseas every month at least once I sent flowers trying to just say I'm thinking of you and I Love you. Thanks to all who responds.