This has been going for about two months. He says he loves me and I do love him to. We work together and he tells me how bad things are. Everyone knows how bad he wife is to him and he says he is just there for the kids. He also says that he will leave her. I am in deep and don't want to be hurt. What should I do?

Leave him.

This is a game the players play. They tell you how bad it is, that they are only there for the kids. But just wait for the first holiday you have to spend alone. Wait for the excuses to start.

I have no patience for the "other woman." You see, it was a woman like you who broke up my first marriage and who ruined my children. Do you understand what this will do to their kids? Nah, you're in it for the sex.

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Annsgirl disagrees This comes from bitterness

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Quite the opposite. This does not come from bitterness. I am now happier than I have ever been in my life. This comes from truth.

You see, my children were basically ruined because of the other woman. I handled it gracefully. I LEFT. The children on the other hand are not trusting of others. They are the ones afraid of being hurt.

My ex is no longer with the "other woman."

No, I'm not bitter, my ex and I are now friends. We even planned our son's fairwell party to Iraq together.

I am just stating fact. People who cheat, whether it be the man or the woman, always say that their relationship is bad at home... that they are only there for the children. It's a form of manipulation. The guilty party uses this to get their cake and eat it too.

I had to spread the rep J9, so I couldn't give you a balancer or an agree.

Coppertop, you are the mistress, the scarlet women, the homewrecker, do you realize that?

Yes you love him, yes, he says that he loves you, he says that his wife is horrible, he's only there for the kids, he's going to leave. Which is it? Is he staying for the kids or leaving for you? Hmmmm, interesting thing to consider.

He's a player, he wants sex, that's it, and he'll say anything and do anything to keep you on the sidelines for his personal pleasure.

I guarantee that when he's not with you he's at home, kissing and hugging his wife, playing with his kids, making plans, not giving you a second thought, until he's horny, then you're priority one.

Just stop having sex with him, tell him that you won't have sex with him again until you two are married, watch how fast he walks out the door.

If you don't care at all about his wife's feelings, at least think about the kids, they're the innocent ones in all of this.

Good luck.

If he has small children and is truly concerned for them, he must stop seeing other women voluntarily and commit to his marriage until they are grown. If he cannot bear to be in his marriage, he should divorce his wife (who SURELY is unhappy with him as well or will be soon) , provide for her and for his children until they finish their education while giving the kids every opportunity to spend time with him. YOU, unfortunately, must not triangulate this situation any further. He stays with her because he WANTS to... fear of losing $, fear of tarnishing his image, fear of hurting her... there is a payoff somewhere for him. Don't expect him to admit it. He just might love living in two worlds. When he can come to you with final divorce papers IN HAND, can take care of you AND his "first family", only then should you open that door. Anything less is unfair, selfish of him and bound for heartache... for everyone concerned.

The man is a dog, stop seeing him, it takes to to cheat on a wife. You are getting the left over. And living a lie is not taking care of the kids,

He is merely using you, and just looking for a good time, I compare it to going to the fair for the rides and then having to return to real lfie.

I think you are being used by this man, it seems by saying that he loves you he is actually playing with your mind to get one thing out of you.
Too much hurt can come from this, and you have to ask yourself is it worth causing all that trouble for someone who may be lying through his teeth?

Diffinately you are being used by him... ask him if he could leave everthting and for u... jsut see his answer... he wouldn't have one...


And man you behind married man... u noe the population of the world... millions of guys are availablee... man believe me think in future.. think about your parents... think about his children... love is not everything uu need in life... think about fututree... willl you b really happy make so many people sad... just imagine...

And I have a believe that if you break someone's home your home will never succeed... so watch out

And stop oontacts with him...
Trust me

What he does WITH you, he'll do TO you.

You are the cheater's paramour now, one day you will be the cheater's victim.

Look at it this way...

He's still with his wife... HE says he'll LEAVE HER... okay, if he is SO miserable, then why hasn't he left her?

I understand the kids thing... I've been married and played the game of having a child which I had to leave behind... that's another story... but the point being, if he is truly miserable, he would LEAVE her before ever looking elsewhere for a relationship.

This guy obviously has no self respect, respect for his wife, or you for that matter. I wouldn't get caught up in the middle of all this... all it's going to do is hurt you in the end.

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Originally Posted by coppertop25

This has been going for about two months. He says he loves me and I do love him to. We work together and he tells me how bad things are. Everyone knows how bad he wife is to him and he says he is just there for the kids. He also says that he will leave her. I am in deep and don't want to be hurt. What should I do?

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There is more to this. They both use to live in another state. He had left her, but moved here to be with the kids. They do live together and she takes child suport from him. He has also told me that she did cheat on him with his best friend and that's why they split the first time. He says he never loved her and just married her because he got her peregent. The thing about it is that they have been married for 13 years and I think if he didn't love her that he would have left a long time ago. I have also ask him this to and he says she would let him see the kids. I don't know, but tomorrow I will see him at work and I am going to tell him how I feel about the whole thing. If he gets mad than I don't think he loved me anyway. I don't want to be hurt or hurt him, but if I have to I will and am.

You should leave him alone. Let him work on his marriage

He has his kids. I think its just to risky a game

For anyone to be playing

Yeah, you need to walk away from this one. If he's still living with her, then there's some unattended business on both parts that he needs to address... and another thing, she can't absolutely stop him from seeing his kids... that's up to a court, not her...

If he's not willing to sacrifice for you, then he has no passion for you, which means that he has a lust for you and not love... in my opinion, passion is the willing to sacrifice and suffer for those that you love... and there doesn't appear to be any on his part...

Just leave before you get in deeper and end up getting hurt worse...

You should take a time out and read the threads on here from other women in your shoes and how it ended. If you really think you could love someone after 2 months while they're aren't single then you need to really think what love is all about. Having you interact with his kids and having him do the same with yours, isn't a good move. In fact it could spark drama between you and his wife. Don't get caught up in someone else lies you already did the big two no's, messing around with a married man and messing around with someone you work with. At some jobs, well at least mines, you could get fired.

First he told you he stayed married and married her because of the kids now he's staying because she going take him for everything that he got and that he has no place to go. Which lie is it? All he's going do is lie, lie, and lie because that is what married men do.

All of your threads should be combine.

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Your right Liz!

Is it any wonder this guy has such an easy time manipulating you?

Why do you keep posting the same question in new threads? No need to answer, because I already know. Every answer you get is "Leave him" and some posters have even shared personal stories to help you see what's happening. Instead you ignore everything and keep asking the same question somehow expecting that someone is either going to side with you or tell you what you are doing is okay.

So I'll give you what you want.

What your doing is okay.
What he's doing is okay.
You don't have to think about this affects children.
Grab the chair for this one... He really does love you.
Keep holding... He's going to leave his wife someday for you... that's for sure and a promise he would never break.
There are no other men on planet earth.

Now, all you have to do is keep believing those things and keep posting the same question over and over and over and over and over and someday it's truly going to happen.

Do you believe me?

He's married. Leave him alone. When/if he gets a divorce, THEN (and only then) is he available to develop a relationship. Its not worth the heartache at the end of this road. Don't be the other woman, no matter what the story he tells you.

He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Don't be the frosting on his stale cake.