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-   -   Teen of divorce (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=273549)

  • Oct 25, 2008, 03:46 PM
    dramamama
    teen of divorce
    in a real short story,my 13 year old grandaughter.has become unmanageable due to mom finding a new man in her life,x is Iranian,never wanted anything to do with the child except Sunday dinner, now is lonely and wants the child to live with hum,he's never home works till 9pm and she is on her own,comes to mom for money and entertainment but is unwilling to behave except for those few moments she's getting her way.is there hope... x thinks mom has ruined all their lives by divorse,in truth 17 years of being alone caused divorce. Doesn't give any support to compromise
  • Oct 25, 2008, 08:42 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Who has the court ordered custody ?
  • Oct 25, 2008, 09:08 PM
    dramamama
    My daughter has custody
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:37 PM
    450donn

    Then your daughter needs to set the rules. Your Gdaughter is acting out of frustration. She probably feels her life is a mess right now. Dad is too busy and mom has a new lover. Personally I think mom needs to step back, take a deep breath and stop dating until daughter is past 18 and on her own. Daughter needs all the attention she can at this age. Might not be what you want to hear, but that is my humble opinion.
  • Nov 1, 2008, 12:45 PM
    irene94

    Your daugter should not date any one your grand daugter never spends time with her dad and now never spends time with her mom she defintly feels unloved I should know my parents were sperated and any and every boyfreind or girl friend my parents had I defintly hated I felt un loved and like if I was not important like if my parents lover was more impotant to them then me your daugter has to tell her and let her know her only priority is her your grand daugter wants her moms atentionshe wants her to feel the pain she feels
  • Nov 3, 2008, 08:35 AM
    chocolat_hitman
    Your daughter could start by talking to your grand-daughter. Often, if parents are willing to take the time to actually communicate with their kids, the parents will find the answers to behavior problems.

    The girl is 13. This is the start of a rebellious era for her--the teenage years. Your daughter needs to make a HUGE effort in trying to connect with her daughter and show her love for your grand-daughter. She should make sure that just the 2 of them go on weekly 'dates'. These should be real commitments that don't get broken. It could be just going to get ice cream, pedicures, a walk at a favorite place. If your daughter does not have time, she needs to make time.

    Of course, there is always the option of a family counselor.

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