OK I said this is a good one because,my girlfriend broke up with me after six years and a three year old daughter. So now during the relationship in the beginning she was a little shy about the whole thing it kind of surprised me because she was actually my first, I lied to her and told her that I had a lot of girlfriends and that I had done it with like four other girls in the past. The truth is that I'm a guy so you naturally have the instinct of how to do it when it comes to it,and of course I practice,sot of by , " M " before I di it with her, anyway here's the thing sometimes after having the baby, our sex started to get boring at times and sometimes I would finish before her and she would be left without the end " orgasm " so after a while we used to be so tired from work and school and having to watch the baby and put her to sleep etc,etc. she finally broke up with me and said it was me that I had to change,I have a posted question on the " dating " topic also so my question here is do you think it was the sex she got bored of and decided maybe there's a better one out there,

It seems to me (I'm a 27 yr old mother of 2 boys, been w/fiance for almost 2 yrs, we barely ever have time to talk, let alone sex) that you two probably weren't soulmates. In onther words, she wasn't "the one" When Mitch and I first got together, our older son, (whom Mitch is in the process of adopting him, not bio. Father but definitely him "Dad") who will be 2 on Halloween, was only a few months old and it was very easy to have sex every night or every 2 nights at least. We immediately decided to have another baby wanting them to be close in age, and our baby is 6 mo old now. We barely ever have time for sex now, even time to kiss or anything, but we are in love, say it to each other daily and any chance that the children to be gone for a night, or if SOMEHOW they fall asleep and we can sneak over to "the little bed" (both our sons sleep in our room, the baby still wakes up for bottles and the big guy won't sleep in his own bed, hence, "the little bed") So what I am saying is, it sounds like in your case, "the thrill is gone, baby" and it's pretty much done. Try to stay cordial, you've got a child together that has known you as their Daddy their whole lives, but it sounds the sex is done and so is the relationship. You probably won't have any problem because of the whole virgin before her thing, you can perform just fine, especially if you two had been doin' it for the last 3+ years. Just move on.

Most people grow and mature as they face problems and go through life... you two started with sex very young and inexperieced... and then, it was over, is my opinion.

Good Luck, :)

Even though sex is one component of a relationship there are others. If sex was getting boring then maybe your should've thought of ways to spice it up. If you was getting off without her getting off, then you should've thought of ways to make sure she would get satifised.

Having a child can slow down or interfere with your sex life but many people have kids and still have a sex life, I know I do. Maybe their was something else but I can tell you that communication was missing.

She broke up with you after six years and no permanent relationship? HUMMMM Do you think you maybe should have gotten married so she could feel like there was some permanance to your relationship? Sounds to me like you have commitment issues that YOU need to deal with. Sex is fine in the beginning, but somewhere during a relationship you need to also become friends.

Can sex be a problem point in a relationship due to a lack of communication, a lack of connection, and the demands of life encroaching on the bedroom?

Sure. Absolutely.

Chances are sex wasn't the only problem, and your other post shows there were other issues, even if its vague concerning what exactly is wrong.

Has she decided there's "a better one out there"?. well, she broke up with you. Either she needs to step back and take a breath or she's done. And moving on usually means, at some point, looking for another partner.

There are apparently enough reasons in her mind to question whether your relationship is what she needs. Until you both sit down and talk about what exactly is wrong, you'll get nowhere... and if she won't talk to you about these things, then perhaps you've missed your chance. Or not.

Nobody here can tell you.

But concerning sex... it takes effort and communication... and saying that you just instinctively know what to do in bed because you masturbate and you "just know"... well... maybe you don't know as much as you think after all... some lovers were easier to please, and some required careful listening, communication, and openness toward sex that took deliberate effort.

You are still reeling from the breakup, but its pretty common in a case like this that it wasn't spontaneous... she's been living with concerns and issues for some time, weighing on the merits of staying or leaving.

So what are the issues, and how do they get fixed?

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Originally Posted by 450donn

She broke up with you after six years and no permanent relationship? HUMMMM Do you think you maybe should have gotten married so she could feel like there was some permanance to your relationship? Sounds to me like you have commitment issues that YOU need to deal with. Sex is fine in the beginning, but somewhere during a relationship you need to also become friends.

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I agree... you thought enough about her to stay with her for 6 years... you thought enough to have a child together 3 years ago... so what is the excuse for not getting married. I don't doubt she felt like she was being used as a sperm receptacle.

You are looking all the wrong places... its not about sex. Its about commitment. You should have been married at least since before the child was born. That's why she finally left. Its not a new problem... its one that's been brewing for three years.

Did u ever think about telling her the truth that she was your first, maybe that had something to do with it, maybe you telling her you had great sex with others and satisfying them but not her, that made her feel like crap.

My husband did the same to me, but he told me the truth so I understood and we worked things out together.

Quite frankly, I don't think sex had anything to do with this. You've already posted that you lied to her about whether you were a virgin. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and if it's not there, you're not going to make it.

Could the sex have used improvement? It's hard to say; none of us were there... at least, I don't think so. But sex is only one factor. When she said "You need to change," did you ask her for specifics? Maybe it was the sex, maybe it was that she needs more help with your daughter, maybe she wanted you to clean the house for her, maybe she wanted more alone time with you... the list could go on and on. The list, of course, is all theoretical on my part. I don't know the inside and out of your relationship as you do. I'm just going off common problems in any relationship.