I split up with my ex 8 months ago,after a 2.5 yr relationship
we were engaged and I was his first love since that day we have been n/c. we ended due to him wanting space - it turns out he had a break down that him push me away.

I have seen him a 2 x since we split once when I stopped and chatted the next time I just said hi and walked on.

Last night when I was out with my friends I saw him, I went over and said hi his face lite up when he saw me and gave me a big hug, asked who I was there with.

he spent the whole night with me chatting to me talking about what we been up to how I am etc.

I said I better go and see my mates and ill come back in a bit.

I went out to the smoking area with my fieneds he was out there talking about me with his work mates, they asked him how long we were together he said 2 years his mate said she's beautiful, he then said there is nothing there now. I turned round and he walked off

that hurt

later on we were talking again he said he still thinks of me everyday, thinks of me when he hears songs, remembers when everyone's birthday is close to me and thinks of me and them on that day. He missed me on his birthday when it was 3 weeks ago. When he sees a car the same as mine he automatically thinks it me

I offered him a lift home and he accepted. When we got outside his house I suggested we should meet for lunch he accepted again I asked him if he still had my number he does - all my numbers, mum dads nan uncles sisters, any number where I may be he has still got in his phone

he asked me if I still sleep all huddled up and if I still nick the covers I said yes, he said ah like sleeping beauty

he admits that he still has all my stuff I have given him, and always think of me. And when he is out somewhere he think I will be he looks for me and everywhere he goes the memory is there and any small blonde he thinks is me

when we said goodbye he hugged me so tight and held me hands then hugged me again

when I was sitting with him talking my stomach hurt and my heart was beating fast but he seemed like he was when we first met

Is he over me or just saying there is nothing there so he don't look like a wimp in front of his work mates or is he just playing games

hope this all makes sense

He has all your numbers, he thinks of you, he rememebr how you sleep, he thinks of you, he talked to his friends about you, he thinks of you. If his thinking is not leading him to you ask yourself are you over him? Break ups are hard but holding on to that moment and waiting for it to come back can damage you. Eventually his time away can either bring him back to you or keep him away. Are you emotianally ready for either? Work on you. Only he can fix he. A true relatinship would have stayed through the good and bad, which means a lot of fighting,loving and being there. GOOD LUCK with the you in you.

I know I'm not over him, I thoought I was until last night it was such a shock to see him out. But hearing him say to his work mate there is nothing there and me different I'm all confused

From the way he acted towards you it doesn't really seem like he is over it. You know when someone is over it. Usually there aren't a lot of emotions involved when you see them... merely a "hi." Who knows? Don't expect anything... just enjoy whatever happens.

Deep down I don't think he is, but why say it to others that he is? That's what I don't understand, and then tell me he thinks of me everyday. There must be something if he can't let go of my numbers and thinks every little blonde is me

He's being cool... if u want him back, go for it... but let him work a bit

I just can't get it out my head what he said to his work mates. That there is nothing there. That hurt, I'm not over him. Seeing him that night made me realise that. I've never had a break up before this one so I don't know if its normal to think of someone your over like he is.

I really doubt your ready to have your emotions stirred up any more, by this fellow. What's the hurry getting back together??

Deal with your feelings without his influence, especially since you have doubts any way. Why stop the healing process for that?

I'm in now hurry to get back with him, I'm not even sure I want to. I'm just very confused how I can hear him say one thing but to me he tells he thinks of me everyday since the break up looks out for me etc. its driving me nuts and has set me back big time

Stop the contact period!!

We have no contact, we bumped into each other the first time properly in the 8 months. I heard him say to his work mates there is nothing there but to me he told me different. I don't even have his number any more

Guys say that kind of stuff ALL the time so they look like they have a spine. But I think he might actually care for you.

If it's not going to hurt you or bring you back into other states of mind and emotions of when you were newly broken up then what's the worst thing that can happen by thinking about it for a week or two? See how much he really changed over the last 8 months at lunch.

I guess if he don't get in touch for lunch I have my answer. It was nice seeing him, really nice. I know he isn't the sort of guy who would mess with me head either. I was his first ever girlfriend and his first love.guess ill just have to wait and see.

Normally thou I guess if your over someone you still don't think of them everyday and you don't have so many triggers. I still have all this because I'm not over him!

Arghhhh

A Update on my situation:

Well I'm more confussed more than ever now, obviously I saw my ex a few months back and he didn't seem over me. We agreed to Lunch, but he never contacted me.

I bumped into him about a month later in the high street and as soon as he saw me he started crying, he was asking how I was and how the family is. He mentioned lunch and I said yes OK, text me when you want to. Again this never come. When we finished talking he kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tight, and said I always think of u.

Every time I see him in the distance he always looks sad and down, unshaven and skinny. When I see him out with his friends he is shaven and looking happy. Yet Every time I speak to him he is all emotional, and hugs me tight after we finish talking

He was the one that split with me, so I don't want to push it. But I don't understand him being emotional when he was the one ending it?

Saying *there is nothing there* could be interpreted two ways.*There is nothing there,I'm over her* or *there is nothing there,we split up,its over*.

Just because you had a nice conversation and he seemed to be caring with you does not necessarily mean he wants to pick up where you left off.He remembers you and that is only natural,you spent two years together.

I think because you want this to mean something more than what it is you read more into his words and actions then what he actually put out there.

Just because people split up does not mean they all of a sudden hate that person.Many times when couples fall out of love they still love the person for what they had together.

Love but not *in love*.

He knows where to find you,I think you are getting your hopes up and that could be painful for you.

Its hard to let go but its harder to break up in your head all over again.

You are still hanging on to this? For what? It's been over for months, and now you are in limbo again after seeing him. Nothing has progressed, you need to cut it all out. Stop the catching up because it's only delaying your healing.

You are wasting precious time of your life on this. Don't you see that? You can't get a refund for this lost time. ENOUGH!! Move on! You owe it to yourself, if not for everyone else on this board who is trying with full hearts to help you see that.

I know I need to move on, I do still love him, he is in my thoughts everyday. It don't help me when every time I c him he gets all emotional with me, even when I say hi and walk on he grabs my arms to stop me. Im just all confused. I don't have the heart to just ignore him.

You don't have any options. You can deal with this head on, and determined to get over this, or... you can continue posting on this board for the next few months. I think you deserve better than that, personally.

I do deserve better your right, but it breaks my heart every time I c him and he is emotional. And tells me he thinks of me everyday. I don't know really know what to say to him. He always wants to stop and talk. Yet he won't contact me for the lunch he wanted.