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-   -   Am I a sex addict? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=272885)

  • Oct 23, 2008, 04:14 PM
    marissa02
    Am I a sex addict?
    I'm not sure where to begin. I'm wondering if I am considered a sex addict or not, and if I need to get help. I just turned 21 years old, and I've already slept with 45-50 people since the age of 15... to the point where I've lost count, I just know it's in that range. I've been in a relationship now for 2 years, and I'm engaged. My partner has no idea that I've been with this many people, I'm ashamed to admit it. About a year ago we started having problems, and we were breaking up a lot. At that time, I started talking to my ex-boyfriend, and we began seeing each other (or should I say, sleeping together) while my fiancé (boyfriend at the time) and I were broken up. Well, I crossed the line and have started cheating. I've been cheating on my partner now for 5 months, and can't seem to stop. I don't know if I'm addicted to my ex-boyfriend, or if I am a sex addict? I don't think I obsessively think about sex, I don't have a problem with pornography, nor do I let sexual thought interfere with work... but it is interfering with my relationship. I know what I've been doing is so wrong. I guess I just need to know if I'm just having a problem with cheating, or if I could in fact, be a sex addict, and need to seek help for it? :confused: I'd really appreciate everyone's opinion on this issue, and some advice. Thank you!
  • Oct 23, 2008, 06:10 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Ok, you either are not having a serious relationship, perhaps relationship problems.

    But I would see a couselor to get in touch with what you want in life.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 06:22 PM
    southerngalps

    If your cheating is only happening with your ex-boyfriend, are you not over him?
  • Oct 23, 2008, 07:52 PM
    marissa02
    Yes, I've definitely been having relationship problems these past two years. In the beginning of our relationship, he lied to me a lot, and was also in contact with his ex behind my back. And I'm pretty sure he had/has a porn addiction, which really bothered me. It made me feel very inadequate and ugly, like I wasn't good enough for him. I also found pictures of his ex in his porn stash which I just have never been able to get over. He promised he wouldn't look at porn anymore, which I did end up finding more of. I know this does not justify me physically going out and cheating on him, but I guess I've never been able to get over the whole porn thing and him looking at his ex. It's not something he'll discuss with me. He just says he doesn't even think about porn anymore, so I need to "get over it" and he promises he won't look at it, which he's already broken. I guess maybe I turned to my ex for comfort, I don't know?
  • Oct 24, 2008, 08:19 AM
    Choux

    It sounds to me like you are "stuck" in promiscuity as a way for you to get attention and contact with men. That makes you needy.

    An individual needs different ways to feel great about him or herself. Like being good at a sport and happy in a hobby and in control of one's actions, and so on. No having a variety of interests in life causes a person problems... like maybe focusing too much on sex as a way to make oneself happy. If that is the case, it usually makes people miserable in the long run.

    I think you would feel lots better getting help from a professional.

    Good Luck, :)
  • Oct 26, 2008, 03:12 PM
    Scared gota dui
    In my opinion, I would say that you are not a sex addict because sex addicts lets sex control every aspect of their life i.e work hobbies etc... Now you did say that sex doesn't interfere with your professional life, is that true though? Im not saying it isn't but think really carefully and maybe you will discover that it does negatively affect other aspects of your life. :confused:Hopefully I'm wrong, but the first step to recovery in anything weather its drugs alcohol or sex. I know that really only addresses a small part of your question, however it might actually a big part.

    God bless
  • Oct 28, 2008, 07:16 PM
    horacekramer
    Your not a sex addict as far as I'm concerned . You are now upgraded to a sex maniac. You do need help fast . We have to talk.:)

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