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-   -   I want to apply the NC rule but I'm still forced to see my ex, what do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=272841)

  • Oct 23, 2008, 01:53 PM
    Dragon620026
    I want to apply the NC rule but I'm still forced to see my ex, what do I do?
    Long story short, my ex broke up with me two days ago because he had a bad feeling about getting hurt in the long run. Thing that I found weird was that nothing was wrong and as far as relationships go, we had a pretty decent one. We also hadn't had no arguments or fights during the 3 months we were together. In the end I know that it wasn't my fault and that I was a good girlfriend and maybe he's really honestly still hurt from his last three year relationship and needs time to heal.

    Because the thing is that he ended up asking me out within a week of breaking up with her. So from what I have heard he basically loved her and put his heart and soul into the relationship but she used him and he didn't heed all his friends warnings and it wasn't till he was with me that he noticed how much he was used and all the other people that were now stepping up to admit that he was used. The other thing that he said was that he was scared because he had never felt the way that he felt about me with anyone else and as fast as he did.

    So I want to apply the NC rule because he does need his space to think about things and to see how life is without me. More or less I want him to spend time without me to see if those feelings are true or if it was just an infatuation. In addition, I to want to take this time for me. I was happy with the relationship and I hate to see it end this way but I do not need to suffer for this and I won't. I am determined to be happy and not let this get me down.

    So the only thing that I can hope is that I was a that I really was a good girlfriend and I'm hoping that he will miss me and realize that it might have been a mistake to break up with me. Also, it gets me to move on past the break up and if we don't end up together again then at least I already started moving on instead of just sitting there all mopey like and dealing with something bigger later. In other words, I'm just hoping for the best & bracing for the worse, till then, let the good times roll!

    Thing is that I HAVE to see him again and if I want to apply this NC rule, which I already began the day of the break up, it might be a bit hard when I have to see him and I'm not so sure of how to go about it. I don't want him to think I'm mad and I don't want to blow him off when I walk past him because I don't want to send the message that I don't care about him anymore. Not to mention that since the event where we have to attend meets more than once a day and it doesn't get out till late leaves me with out a ride. He was my ride and now I don't know if I should take the ride if he offers or take a ride with the guy that his ex left him for or call me ex to pick me up. Also, no one else can pick me up and I REALLY mean no one. So... I'm unsure of what to do...

    Advice please?
  • Oct 23, 2008, 03:40 PM
    ylaira

    Is this a ride to school or work?

    You are right that you should not talk to him at all as this stage "mostly preparation for break up."

    Find a way to get other rides. For you're your good.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 05:19 PM
    Dragon620026
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ylaira View Post
    Is this a ride to school or work?

    You are right that you should not talk to him at all as this stage "mostly preparation for break up."

    Find a way to get other rides. For your your good.

    Well, I'm an actor for one of the haunted houses that are going on right now and closing doesn't happen till we run out of people. Usually that ends around nine or ten pm. But since halloween is around the corner the lines are expected to go on for longer and might not end till midnight or one am.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 05:23 PM
    talaniman

    To many exes here, catch a cab.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 05:25 PM
    jjwoodhull
    Because you work together, you can obviously not do NC. Be cordial - say hello - but that is it. Get another ride home. If you have a good relationship with your old ex, then get a ride from him.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 07:12 PM
    neverme

    You be cordial.. it will show him that you're a mature level headed person and that he hasn't ripped your soul out so to speak! :p get a ride from someone else definitely
  • Oct 23, 2008, 07:26 PM
    ylaira

    Dont talk to an ex if things are still fresh...it's just so plastic and really won't help inside. DNC is still the best option.
  • Oct 23, 2008, 07:32 PM
    Dragon620026

    kk, thank you so much for the advice. ^-^v
  • Oct 23, 2008, 09:27 PM
    h0llister

    I agree with everyone, also make sure you look really good too hehe
  • Oct 24, 2008, 08:30 AM
    Dragon620026
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by h0llister View Post
    i agree with everyone, also make sure you look really good too hehe

    yep yep! I'll be sure to look my best. ^-^v
  • Oct 24, 2008, 08:42 AM
    bigbird213

    It sounds like you have your head on straight about this, which is good, but I think you need to find a new ride, and I don't think it should be anyone's ex. That's bordering on playing games - something you don't want to get involved in...
  • Oct 25, 2008, 12:26 AM
    Dragon620026
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bigbird213 View Post
    It sounds like you have your head on straight about this, which is good, but I think you need to find a new ride, and I don't think it should be anyone's ex. Thats bordering on playing games - something you don't want to get involved in....

    Ya, and that's what I want to avoid. Thank you.

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