I met my girlfriend in Feb this year. We started dating and it was great in the beginning, then I started to suspect she was not telling the full truth about her situation. She was living in a house that she said was hers and that the little boy of three that was also there on some occasions that I was, was her sisters little boy and she looked after him because her sister suffered from having him at birth so the family helped out in looking after him. She also told me when she could not make it to my house one night that her Dad had fallen ill. This excuse become used more and more often the she said he went into hospital. I turned up at the hospital with some flowers to find that no one at the hospital was there in her Dads name. The next night when I mentioned this to her on the phone she told me he died. On the day of her funeral I bought a black suit and waited for her she came around to pick me up but then told me just before leaving that it wasn't a good adea to meet the rest of her family at a funeral for the first time. Later I found out the truth it was her son and her Dad never died. I stuck by her as all these issues were because she suffers from depression. I moved into her home and she pregnant. She is now 6 months pergnant and has thrown me out of her home which the council pays for I shouldn't be living there to keep running back. Should I still stick by her, the slightest little thing I do wrong like going out for one day out in three months and gettting very drunk she thows me out?

If she is living in government housing then no you shouldn't be living there. You need to get your own place.

If you went her in Feb. and she is 6 months pregnant that means no time was wasted in getting her that way. Now you have to deal with her for the next 18 years.

For someone to lie about their child and the death of her father is more than a liar but the bed is made and you stayed after this. She sounds like a compulsive liar and she should see a counselor.

Why she keep kicking you out, I don't know but again I think you should get your own space.

Get out, and leave her alone, as you'll never figure her out. Is the child yours?? Be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt.

She says the child is mine and I do have my own place

Go there, and stay until the child is born, and then set up some financial assistance through the court system... AFTER A PATERNITY TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE HER ALONE UNTIL THEN, AS SHE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR TRUST.

I'm not going back to her home as she can always throw me out. Its also provided to her because she is a single parent so I should have never moved in. I will get a test done when the baby is born. The other option is to let her and her son move into my home

Don't do it! Let her take care of herself.

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The other option is to let her and her son move into my home

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That is a very bad option for you both. Disappear from her life for a while works better in the long run, and be more peaceful.
Why even move someone in with you, that doesn't want you around most of the time. Is that logical??

Most people choose the hell they end up living in, make sure this what you really want. It's still not too late to keep SOME sanity in your life and end up with a girl who is totally into you and making a great life. You CAN choose that.

Good idea on the paternity test. Keep your distance from now until after the test is done. You could get a lot of living done while you're waiting for that. Don't put your life on hold for this craziness.

Its very easy for the advise you give to take hold of what intelligence I have to make the right decision but my heart tells me something else. If she tells me she loves me and wants me back and I still don't go and the baby is mine have I then made the wrong decision?

Most of us on here aren't going to simply tell you what you want to hear but tell you what we truly believe. From the information that you've given us it sounds like it's best for you to keep your distance from her until you know if the baby is yours or not. She's lied to you about things that no one should lie about. What's she going to lie about next? If you decide to follow your heart and stay with her, I would strongly suggest something be done about her depression, whether it's to seek professional help or taking medication.

She is on medication now and she is so much better than in the past but she still throws me out if I do the slightest little thing wrong because its her house then always wants me back.

Good luck in whatever path you choose. Just be careful!

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Originally Posted by gengauk

its very easy for the advise you give to take hold of what intelligence I have to make the right decision but my heart tells me something else. If she tells me she loves me and wants me back and I still don't go and the baby is mine have I then made the wrong decision?

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As I said originally, people can and do choose their own particular hell, more often than not. Absolutely, you can opt to follow your head, your heart, your urges... whatever you want.

But you came here asking us to listen to your story and advise you, which we are doing. We aren't going to argue with you (hopefully) and we're not going to soft-sell our perspective either. We advise you based on experience, the 1000s of people we've interacted with on the same issues, and the information you gave. In the end, of course, you will do what you're strong enough to do.

Meanwhile, we are here to listen and advise. Just be ready to hear because your success is our goal, and that means we're going to shoot VERY straight with you in hopes of getting through to your heart-clouded-mind.

That's why I call this "choosing your own hell" because you're at that point right now. You're about to most likely choose a course dictated by your heart which can and will most likely lead to quite a bit of torment for you... all by your own choice. But it is, after all, yours to make.

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if I do the slightest little thing wrong because its her house then always wants me back.

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That's because she knows she can, and you will be back. That's the stuff of wimps, and puppies, and you only have yourself to blame.

Thank you all for the advice. I have now made the decision to wait until the baby is born find out if its mine but live my life to the full either way. I think I have always done the right thing by her by sticking by her until the baby is born but me doing that isn't good enough for her. Its really helped me to understand that for all the faults I was putting up with and all the lies I tried to forget that I'm the important one as she finds it easy to throw me out rather than sort out our differences. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, thanks again

It has. You may even be able to establish a healthy relationship with her as your baby mama if the child turns out to be yours. That would be good.

In the future, just be the calming influence on everyone, and don't be goaded by her into arguments.

"We're not together anymore, so we don't need to punish each other. I'm here for the baby, and that means I'm here for you as much as is appropriate. You know that's good for the baby, so let's be civil to each other for their sake. I promise I'll never do anything to interfere with your bond. I want her to love her mother."