Ask Me Help Desk - He is driving me crazy

Hey you, okay here's the story. Me and my boyfriend broke up about 2 months ago. Well actually he broke up with me. The reasons he used were that I have to work hard in school and that he was being a distraction, that he didn't like the way I treated my little bro, or that I disrespected my mom (normal teen stuff) he's a really great kid with his mom because his mom is all the family he's got. He says he wants to focus on work and school, and that right now he needs me as a friend. Also just things that really pushed him away was that well... you know ill admit it, that I was being a brat with my mom and things that I just had to swallow and move on with(you know, life). Another was my jealoulsy with him around other girls, I don't think it was anything crazy because normal jealously when I feel werid which I guess is bad. I don't know he wants to be singel for a while.:( but there are these little things that he does that makes it seem like he still has feelings for me. But I asked how he felt about me and he said he liked me just as a friend. I don't know he even told me, he was really in love with me, but after 7 months how can he lose feelins that fast, feelings that were deep and true :confused: I know he is still really attracted to me, as I am to him :rolleyes: lol but you know, I want him to fall for me again. Like, I want him back :( I would always no matter what he does or what happends to him, be there for him 100 % no matter what. We are still friends that talk everyday but... I just want to be with him again :( I really love him and I have for four years :(

By the way he told me the "he really was in love with me" comment after we broke up but that his feelins changed because of all those reasons

Sorry honey, those feelings were not "deep and true", but only superficial attraction. Nothing more, and easy to confuse with love. Move on!

Well just let time tick away for awhile and see where it goes. He might fall for you again he might not. The questions you have to ask yourself are.

"Can I stay with him JUST as a friend and not hurt myself because of my feelings for him?"

"Can I sit here and watch if he gets another GF?"

As much as people say "lets just be friends" after a break up that friendship usually only lasts afew weeks or maybe a month or two at max before someone can't take it anymore. It's very hard to just be friends with somebody when you harbor such strong feelings for them as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AWess

Sorry honey, those feelings were not "deep and true", but only superficial attraction. Nothing more, and easy to confuse with love. Move on!

Awess, you can't possibly know what this guy's feelings were in this. Teenagers are also capable of experiencing emotions that are more than just skin deep.

Blondie, in being able to reflect upon the difference between what you called teenage behaviors and what might have been better ways of handling things at home, I think that you demonstrated that you are capable of having some real insight into yourself and from the perspective of others. No matter what, that quality will serve you well as you continue to grow up and mature.

While it might have appeared that he lost his feelings for you so fast, he might have been experiencing doubts long before he shared them with you. I know that it hurts, but the best thing you can do at this point is to learn from any mistakes you've made and the rest of the experiences you shared. If this guy has the good character you think he possesses, he will probably respect you a lot from holding yourself to good standards and doing the right things.

In the meantime, if he doesn't have those kinds of feelings for you anymore, you just have to tighten your bootstraps and move on emotionally. If he wanted you back, he would be expressing that to you. If you think that he doesn't know how you feel about the situation, sit him down and tell him. Then you'll know that he is aware of your position, and if he wants to act upon it, he will. Just don't wait around for that to happen.