Well, hello everybody. I need an advise, I was dating my boyfriend for 3 years, we were planning to get married, he was for the most part, everything was fine till we moved in with his friend, single, coool dude. Well, we stardet to argue a lot over stupid staff, and the last time(I was drunk) things kind of run out of control, he was trying to hold me back from packing my staff and somehow I end up at the hospital with a brocken arm. Well, I broke up with him and left to Greece, after I came back, I called him up, he didn't answear, and late that night I got a message , he was crying in to my cell, telling me to liave him alone, because he still loves me so much and it´s hurt him when I write or call him. So one day I just went over there and we talked, he told me that he doesn't want me back because I am a pain in his , we should stay friends because we don't get along and he is not sure if he still feel the same about me. We still see each other, go out to dinner and have sex, but we are not together. I know he feels very bad about my arm, and blame himself, for hurting me, he hardly look at my face when we are out. I love him so much, and I want him back but the thing is he is leaving to Iraq for a year, and I don´t know what to do, should I move on, or maybe we still have a chance when he comes back? (Sorry about my bad English):)

First of all - (no offense) but your spelling is atrocious. Please install spellcheck.

Why why why WHY WHY?? Did you call a man (upon returning from Greece) WHO BROKE YOUR ARM?! That is physical assault. Battery. Abuse.

If you saw a woman beat a dog or a cat or a small child, would that be OK with you? NO! It wouldn't. Great. You have dinner, go out to spend time together, AND as if that's not bad enough, you even have sex. But, rest assured readers, our great Angelina here is NOT dating him. Oh no! They are NOT in a relationship. Why should they be? The man is already getting sex FOR FREE!

Let him go to Iraq, and I pray for your safety and wellbeing that you never ever hear from this man again.

You can love him as much as you want... all the way to the hospital, and all the way to your grave site. Yep. I said it.

I apologize for commenting on your spelling. Perhaps English is not your first language - so, I sincerely take back my first remarks about your spelling.

This man is bad. BAD. BAD - DANGEROUS. Please leave him alone, and move on without him. Don't call him, don't answer the phone, don't have dinner with him, don't go to the movies, don't have sex with him. Please, stay FAR AWAY from this dangerous man.

PLEASE!

Absolutely, without a doubt, MOVE ON! He has broken your arm,. this was NO ACCIDENT!. and he has made excuses why he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but yet he still has sex with you. He can't look in your eyes, but he has no problem having sex with you? I don't mean to be cruel, but this is a man you are in love with?

At the very least, he just hasn't grown up yet. Maybe the army will help him do this, but it sounds like he has a lot of issues that only he can take care of.

He will be gone to Iraq for a year. Do you really want to "waste" a year of your life waiting for someone like this? Trust me, that is a year you can't get back, and you could be missing out on some good things while you are sitting waiting.

Your spelling is not that bad my dear. :) congrats on knowing another language!

As for your choice in men.. not so good :)
Don't be a silly girl and stay with this low life.

The most sick thing I hear. Is when a women gets beaten up by a man... then later on she says but I love him..

For me. That makes the women almost as guilty as the man. Because my dear if you don't listen to us. This will get worse! And you may end up next time.. a lot more hurt.

That it is not love.
That is you being to scared to be on your own... well don't be! Because it can only get better for you. But you must leave him

You have done a lot mistakes, but that does not mean you can't learn from them.

Learn from this one and move on to better things.

He is not worth it

Best of luck

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Should i move on?

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YES, and good luck!

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Your spelling is not that bad my dear. :) congrats on knowing another language!!

as for your choice in men.. not so good :)
dont be a silly girl and stay with this low life.

The most sick thing i hear. is when a women gets beaten up by a man... then later on she says but i love him..

For me. that makes the women almost as guilty as the man. because my dear if you dont listen to us. This will get worse! and you may end up next time.. a lot more hurt.

That it is not love.
That is you being to scared to be on your own... well dont be! because it can only get better for you. but you must leave him

you have done a lot mistakes, but that does not mean you can't learn from them.

Learn from this one and move on to better things.

he is not worth it

best of luck

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I do agree with you, but I need to point something out from personal experience. The woman is not "always" just as guilty. In my case, it was a very slow process of brain washing and mind control. I was not an unaware or easy to manipulate person. Like I said, it was a slow process, until I was devoid of any self esteem, self confidence, and self worth or pride. Sometimes it's also threats of personal safety, and what will happen if you attempt to leave. Luckily I did, but only after many years. That is why the OP needs to leave YESTERDAY! It could really ruin the rest of her life if she doesn't.

You miss understand me my dear :)

I did in no way say that it was her fault.

I know the typ of abuse people go threw
Men are also subject to it.

It's the Typ of Personality.. that makes me angry

When a person says she loves someone after hitting them

People that get brain washed and allowe themselves to be treated like that.

Some people do lose themselves in a relationship..

And as I say. We allow people to treat us the way we let them.

It does take 2 people. To get into a situation like this. But it only takes 1 person to get out

I can't stand the type of personality either that says, well he only did it this one time, he won't do it again because I love him... I love him... he's so sorry! Bullsh*t he won't do it again! It's almost guaranteed and written in your own blood. One day it's a broken arm, and the next time it's just a mere black eye, and then you find yourself on the ground with an overpowering man sitting on top on you and choking you!

I ate my own words when I was with my ex. I was no kid when we started our relationship. He treated me like gold, and was very respectful. I'm not talking for a few weeks or months, I'm talking years. He turned out to be a "groomer". There may have been some signs I missed, but overall, everything was really good. The brain washing part started early on, as I see now, but it wasn't apparent to me or my friends and family. By the time it got to it's worst point, I was scared to death to leave. There were threats made, and a lot of control. It's a very hard story to explain in just a few words.

I know the OP hasn't gotten to this point, so she needs to get out now. I have the utmost respect for the men and women that fight for our countries, but I have to say, if her man is prone to violence even before he serves in Iraq, imagine what that might turn into when he returns.

I really did understand what you were trying to say, and she needs to go on with her life and leave this guy in her past. :)

Thank you all for the answears, deep inside I know that I should stay away from him, it´s just hard to decide with my mind. Letting go of someone you love is the most painful feelings human being can experience. He alredy went to Iraq for 15 month, and he was not the same person when he got back, well such is life I suppose.rolleyes::mad::(