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-   -   Contact with ex's family members? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=271865)

  • Oct 21, 2008, 06:34 AM
    kstme
    Contact with ex's family members?
    Would it be apporpriate for me to send my ex's parents a note of thanks for their kind treatment of my family and I during the time of our relationship?
  • Oct 21, 2008, 06:49 AM
    talaniman
    How was the relationship and did it end on a good note?
  • Oct 21, 2008, 07:27 AM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kstme View Post
    Would it be apporpriate for me to send my ex's parents a note of thanks for their kind treatment of my family and I during the time of our relationship?

    Are you doing this for attention hoping your ex would see how "wonderful" of a person you are? Do you give everyone a note who you encounter who is kind to you? I think there is more reason to you wanting to do this, How was the relationship? And what led them to be a "ex" in the first place?
  • Oct 21, 2008, 09:49 AM
    kstme

    Talaniman and jolienoire... the relationship ended mostly because he has a major lack of trust, not only in me, but with most people. Part of it is posted in another thread, "What's a girl to do?" His issues are his problem and I know I can't fix them.
    And no... I don't want any attention... or for him to think I'm a wonderful person... to be honest, I never factored him in when I first thought about it.
    I do care about his parents, have known them since I was a child... they are really great people and always have been and I respect them. I just wanted to express to them that I am grateful and appreciate all the things that were done and the kindness shown for my family and I. That's it, there's nothing more.
    I've never dealt with this type of thing before. If it wouldn't be the appropriate thing to do, then I wouldn't do it.
  • Oct 21, 2008, 12:36 PM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kstme View Post
    Talaniman and jolienoire...the relationship ended mostly because he has a major lack of trust, not only in me, but with most people. Part of it is posted in another thread, "What's a girl to do?" His issues are his problem and I know I can't fix them.
    And no...I don't want any attention...or for him to think I'm a wonderful person...to be honest, I never factored him in when I first thought about it.
    I do care about his parents, have known them since I was a child...they are really great people and always have been and I respect them. I just wanted to express to them that I am grateful and appreciate all the things that were done and the kindness shown for my family and I. That's it, there's nothing more.
    I've never dealt with this type of thing before. If it wouldn't be the appropriate thing to do, then I wouldn't do it.

    I really can't tell you what to do or not, you know the family better than I and I would say that if it is Absolutely necessary to do that than you go ahead. Perhaps it is for some closure with his family to let them know you appreciate their generocity even though they probably know that you are grateful. I can understand what you are saying, I still talk to my ex husband mother not only because of my children, but because she was really a great person, like a second mom to me, and we are still close. I would say it is your call, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't to get in touch with the ex.
  • Oct 21, 2008, 12:45 PM
    Bonnie46

    I agree with jolienoire. Only do it if your intentions are "pure". Don't use it as a means to 'reconnect' with an ex. Maybe you could hold off until the holidays - a more suitable or "appropriate" time to be sending / mailing letters/notes/cards. Your call. Good luck.
  • Oct 21, 2008, 02:48 PM
    kstme

    My intentions are pure... the parents and only the parents.
    As far as a "re-connection"... I've already politely declined the offer once, and not so politely the second time... I can't and won't go back unless he gets help dealing with his insecurities and lack of trust.
    Anyway.. the holiday's idea is something I hadn't thought about... I'll hold off and put that into consideration too!
    Thank you very much!

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