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-   -   How to Live life without ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=271782)

  • Oct 20, 2008, 11:12 PM
    lolojaan
    How to Live life without ?
    Hi,
    I am married for 27 years. I have my husband & two children of marriagable age.About 10years back I was involved with a relation to support a person who was our family friend, as he was not having a good relation with his wife.Both of us started liking each others company.Without disturbing either family we continued enjoying the company.
    After his children grew up, Bcas family needed a Reunion both their parents for their future.They had their counselling and got united last two Years. In this eight years I had supportrd him in major decisions of his family matters, official even small small decions of buying things for his family.
    All of a sudden my life shattered as he started spending more time in his house, going out not involving me. This was a major set back in my life. Now- days he never come to our house if at all he comes he gets irritated with my question, querry etc. Lastly it ends up with a fight.Overall he is a very nice person at heart helpimg nature .
    I love him a lot. I cannot show this in front of my familyas I am content ad happy .
    I become depressed as he has stopped calling me, visiting me, never replies to my mails.
    I am very much depressed these days bcas of this.
    Help me live my life as before.
    Regards
  • Oct 21, 2008, 06:52 AM
    talaniman

    I think getting use to the idea that you should seek your happiness without him, is the way you should go.
  • Oct 21, 2008, 07:23 AM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by lolojaan View Post
    Hi,
    I am married for 27 years. I have my husband & two children of marriagable age.About 10years back I was involved with a relation to support a person who was our family friend, as he was not having a good relation with his wife.Both of us started liking each others company.Without disturbing either family we continued enjoying the company.
    After his children grew up, Bcas family needed a Reunion both their parents for their future.They had their counselling and got united last two Years. In this eight years I had supportrd him in major decisions of his family matters, official even small small decions of buying things for his family.
    All of a sudden my life shattered as he started spending more time in his house, going out not involving me. This was a major set back in my life. Now- days he never come to our house if at all he comes he gets irritated with my question, querry etc. Lastly it ends up with a fight.Overall he is a very nice person at heart helpimg nature .
    I love him a lot. I cannot show this in front of my familyas I am content ad happy .
    I become depressed as he has stopped calling me, visiting me, never replies to my mails.
    I am very much depressed these days bcas of this.
    Help me live my life as before.
    Regards


    This may sound cliché but if you love him you will respect his decision to be happy with or without you. It also depends on what your advice was to him when he came to you for support. You helped him and now he must be able to make his decision on his own sort of like raising children, until they are able to one day make their own decision, I think you felt happy that he confided in you and communicated with you, perhaps you are lacking this in your own marriage it could make you crave the communication that you are not getting from your husband. I really don't know your situation as a whole, but whilst he is working on getting his family, don't let your family be ruined by your depression. Take this time and instead of wanting to be there for him be there for yourself and your family. It is the only way to be truly happy. You are the person responsible for your happiness. Don't put all your energy into wanting him to be around. Be there for yourself.
    Good luck.

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