I have a 15 year old son who has moved in with me. His mom agreed and I have enrolled him into school. I pay the mom child support and I need this money for my son.She refuses to buy him food to bring to my house and says she needs the money to live off and pay her bills.What can I do about this?

Well, now that you have him you don't owe her child support. You are not obligated to pay her bills. Was there a court order saying that you pay child support? If there wasn't you don't need to keep paying her. Make sure you have proof that she decided for him to live with you. You will need to see a judge to put it in writing that he is with you and you will not pay her child support.

Child support if for the CHILD, not the parent. If you have your son, she no longer incurs any expenses for him and you stop paying. If you can't get a court order to stop your payments, let your son go back to her. You should not continue to pay child support to someone who no longer has the child. You are paying twice.

Go back to court where the support order was issued and show proof of him living with you. They will change the order so that you no longer owe support and you may actually get some from her. But you can't just stop paying if it is court ordered you have to go to court ASAP!

Califdadof3, I think you should read my post again.


well, now that you have him you don't owe her child support. you are not obligated to pay her bills. was there a court order saying that you pay child support?? if there wasn't you don't need to keep paying her. make sure you have proof that she decided for him to live with you. you will need to see a judge to put it in writing that he is with you and you will not pay her child support.

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califdadof3 disagrees: You need to be careful with this. The OP must follow court orders until they are modified. He can't just choose to do nothing and expect courts to go along with it.
I didn't say to disobey the court order. I said if there was none in place, which in his post, doesn't state that there is, that he doesn't need to pay her. They may have worked out support on their own. I think you should read my answer carefully before giving me a bad rating.

Califdadof3...


was there a court order saying that you pay child support?? if there wasn't you don't need to keep paying her.
This is what I said, not to go against a court order.

OK Im reread your answer and here is what I see in it.

Well, now that you have him you don't owe her child support. ( you have no idea if that's actually true or not. The custody could have went from a 10/90 or 80/20 to a now 50/50 arrangement.) The OP hadn't said anything about it.
You are not obligated to pay her bills. ( we have no idea what the current order says. But even if its just for child support that would include some of " her " bills in raising the child.)

Make sure you have proof that she decided for him to live with you. You will need to see a judge to put it in writing that he is with you and you will not pay her child support.
( wrong again.. The OP needs to request modification orders from the court and its up to the courts to decide ) not just simply put it in writing and a judge signs off on it.
So I stand by what I had said. You need to be careful when advising people on here when it comes to Law and how it may apply to them. Being vauge only can add to confusion and starting with an untrue statement or nonlogical one can lead an OP into disaster.

In his post he says she needs the money to pay her bills. Do you think this is right? Do you think a judge would order him to pay her bills? All I said was he doesn't owe her child support unless there was a court order in place. If they agreed on an amount themselves, then that is different than a court order. When I said he doesn't owe her money now because he has the child, that didn't mean go against a court order. Your disagree states that I gave wrong advice and he should follow court orders. I did say he should follow a court order, I just worded it differently.

was there a court order saying that you pay child support?? if there wasn't you don't need to keep paying her.

I don't need to make this an argument. I just feel that your reddie went against what I really did say.

Califdadof3, I seriously doubt there was a CHILD SUPPORT order for him to pay the mother's bills. If he is obligated to them, it's called SPOUSAL MAINTENANCE or ALIMONY. Child support is for exactly what the title indicates-the child

OK, I don't want this turned into a fight and we need to focus on helping the OP.

I do agree that with CalifDad that the answers from southerngalps and ashley were assuming too much. But, in my opinion whether the responses deserved a reddie is open to opinion.

But the fact here is that Stinawords response was the best one. Child support is court ordered the vast majority of the time. So, when custody arrangements change, a modification of the order needs to be sought in court.

In fact, even though the mother has given permission for the som to move in with the father, the mother can force him to move back in with her at any time until the custody agreement is modified.