Why does this bother me! I can't really figure it out. I KNOW I would never get back together with her even if she did come back to me... but it does! I feel moody, pissed off, and snappy with everyone! I have been dating, and realize she is not for me... but I can't get past this right now. Why? I know I have a ton to offer someone, but haven't found her yet, and that's OK with me. I guess I feel cheated in a way. Not even a year and she is getting married! ***!? :mad: :confused:

Cud it be because she is getting married before you?

Hi, Jeff,
How many gf's have you had??
This is life; and we accept it, and go on. Move on with your life. Remember the happy times, forget the others.
Best of luck.

This is not a race, a competition... love does not come in a limited supply... each to their own lessons about life, love and being honest, eh?

She got over it more quick than you did apparently. Maybe that says she wasn't as involved in your relationship when you thought she was, but it really behooves you to ask yourself why that matters now. Could it be an inkling you were duped back there? If so, attend to that. I know I found it hard to believe when the first man I really loved (but was too slow for him) took up with someone quickly after me. At first it came off to me as "Holy matrimony, he really DID want to marry and have kids asap and it seems with who wasn't a big consideration either - yikes!!" :eek: But later on I could see... each to their own path, their own way.

Look objectively (and I don't mean drive yourself crazy over it either, okay?) until you find what it is... it's worth the looking since it is my belief it may be a little but important part of Your Lesson!

I hope that helps and thanks for posting.

I think this is a classic case of " I don't want her but I don't want anyone else to have her"

Val's post pretty much hit the nail on the head( sorry Val I got the spread it note)
Focus on finding that Misses Right and try not to obsess about the EX, there is nothing you can do about it, it's not worth driving yourself nuts.
Good luck to you Hon.

Dude... rememebr she had to have been seeing gthis dude while she was seeing you. You know this.

I feel bad for the guy she is marrying because she cheated on him with you and the other way around. This gal is no good. No trust. No respect.

Valinors is right "that says she wasn't as involved in your relationship when you thought she was" - 1000% - that's what si happeneing.

There's no way she got married so soon without seeing this guy for a year or more while seeing you - PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER - SHE WAS PROBABLY UNAVAILABLE SOME NIGHTS?? BUSY A LOT?? GONE.

VAL- your answers are so well put and dead-on,but got to spread it around!
Jeff, I think you feel the way you do is because you honestly CARED about this girl and that my friend speaks loads as to the kind of guy you are. She didn't deserve you and you should feel sorry for the poor guy she's marrying!:cool: :eek:

Moody, pissed off and snappy?? Knock it off, and the only place you got to be snappy buddy is in your wardrobe!

Let Bridezilla have her day, and just pray for the poor schmuck she suckered into paying for this upcoming fiasco. She is still the same old miserable B she was when you were with her. She hasn't changed, women like this usually don't. They are too selfish. She will never find true happiness Jeff because she will never be able to get past her love affair with herself.

You have something she will never have, much less be able to spell, Character! You have the potential to be happy with someone and give. She doesn't know the meaning of give. It was all take, remember?

You're pissed cause you're the good guy in this story and you feel like you lost the race to the alter. She's the evil wench who lied, manipulated and cheated her way through your life and she's got a ring and a date, her shoes are dyed and she's over you. You're pissed cause you don't have a serious someone and it's just not fair... that's life babe. Ya know the old Dixie Chicks song, "Shoulda been different but it wasn't different, was it, same old story, dear john and so long...".

There was no race but you still came out on top. You see, someday, not today or tomorrow, you'll be walking down that aisle with the right woman and for all the right reasons (and yeah Chery and I will be there front row center) and you will be exactly where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there. I think you're pissed cause she's the one who should be saying "hey, I lost a great guy and he found the love of his life and they're gettin married...". Don't fool yourself, she will say that about you some day only her pain will be justified, she really did lose a good one!

I know, and thanks guys. I don't want her back, I think Im just letting this crap get to me because Im just kind of felling a bit pissed still. I know that this is kind of part of the process I guess, and I am having such a great time meeting new girls, and making new friends. I don't really feel like I lost anything in some ways though. I really gained a TON of knowledge that I can really use to make myself a lot happier. I know Im am WAY better off without her in my life, and I know that there is that special someone out there for me. Thanks for kicking me in the butt a bit and getting me back on track here guys! I really love you all for it!

Hi, Jeff,
Thanks for posting back, and letting us know.
As you said, you WILL eventually, find the person who is just right for you.
Don't rush anything! I do wish you the best, and hang in there. Keep having fun, and always SMILE... girls love it.

I know this thread is years old but I am going through the same thing Jeff was. One of my friends ran his mouth and told me my ex was pregnant(!) and about to get married to this dude within a year of her leaving me. I'm going through all the same emotions- I don't want her but it's unfair that she gets what she wants (especially because she was so deceptive at the end of our relationship).

I too feel like I am a good guy and I deserve someone special, but unfortunately in my recent experiences I have found nothing but more pain and agony. Women just have put me through the ringer and it's so hard.

I am usually very positive-minded but the news of my ex and recent dating woes have just broken my spirit I'm afraid. I can't stand to look at couples or single women- it just drives me nuts.

I know I should carry on but there's only so much heartache and frustration a soul can take. I just want to be comfortable being alone so I'm not so hurt about not being with someone.

I am 34 and my 1st love got married a few months ago. I dated him when I was 15 to 21. I must say that I care for him very much and I even had the chance to date him again a few years ago, I choose not to. I understand what you are feeling because I had the same feelings when I found out he was getting married, he invited me to the church too! I did not go, nor have I seem him since his wedding. I use to visit him at his job every few months, but I have not gone. I came to realize It was bothering more so because I was not getting married and I did not have a “special someone” in my life! Well the good news is it didn’t bother me for very long I got over it fast, and don’t think about it too much now. I hope you have the same luck I did!

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Originally Posted by jeffatl

Why does this bother me!? I can't really figure it out. I KNOW I would never get back together with her even if she did come back to me.....................but it does! I feel moody, pissed off, and snappy with everyone! I have been dating, and realize she is not for me............but I can't get past this right now. Why? I know I have a ton to offer someone, but havent found her yet, and thats ok with me. I guess I feel cheated in a way. Not even a year and she is getting married!? ***!!!!??? :mad: :confused:

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Hey Jeff...


I just did a search for this topic and came across your post. Did you ever meet anyone? I am curious to see how your search has turned out thus far...


Bev

Jeff - I just found out my ex is getting married in a couple of weeks - on what was OUR OLD WEDDING DAY! How's that?
And, we have a 7 year old child together so I have to deal with this jerk the rest of my life. Count yourself lucky that you don't have to ever see her or talk to her again!