My husband has 2 kids with his ex wife. One is 13 the other is 7. They had the 13 year old in 1995, got married in March 2000 and the divorce was final in January 2001 (marriage lasted 10 months). During the brief marriage she became pregnant but wasn't sure who the father was. So in April 2001 (3 months. After divorce was final) baby was born. Paternity test was done and the child was my husband's - he's now 7. The 13 year old is on 1 order and the 7 year old is on another because two different courts were involved - domestic relations for the 13 year old and juvenile court for the 7 year old. In Ohio by law the two cannot be combined now. However, my husband has been paying for 7 years as though these kids reside in two separate households. She is taking him back for a modification now because she voluntarily works less hours since she had her 3rd child (with her boyfriend) and I guess she feels that my hubby should pay for this new baby too. The guy at CSEA said my husband should request that even though the orders cannot be combined, that he be given a credit for the fact that the kids reside in the same household and share the same heat, electric, etc. In other words, it doesn't cost double the amount to raise two kids as it does one. For their combined incomes, Ohio child support states $8,000 for one kid and $11,500 for two. The way it is now, though - they are going by $8,000 for one and another $8,000 for two for a total of $16,000! That's $4,500 more per year they are going off. What are his chances? And can anything be done about the fact that he has been paying this way for 7 years now? No one ever told him any of this and most of the time when he calls down there for something they have major attitude with him because he's a man! We are also asking that her income be imputed to 40 hours per week. She went down to 36 and makes over $19/hour. Does my hubby stand a chance of things going his way?

Does he have a lawyer? If not he should get one. The lawyer will be a great help in him getting the "credit" for both children living in the same house with the same mom but it isn't likely anything will be done about the past seven years because he could have gotten that noted seven years ago (I realize he didn't know but the court will just say he should have done his research or gotten a lawyer to do it for him).

Unfortunately we cannot afford a lawyer. My husband works in a volatile industry and all his overtime was recently cut until further notice. Needless to say, we have to really cut back until the Spring when things hopefully pick up. I am currently just researching as much as I can online and trying to get legal advice from anywhere I can so he can at least go in there prepared. So far we have proof that she is part time - she sent an email to my sister-in-law whom she works with telling her so - and that she lied about what she pays for the kids for medical insurance (she stated $1550 per child, per year when in reality she pays $426 per child per year). It's as though they are just believing whatever she says and going with it.

Does she have a lawyer? If she does just to let you know the general rule is that if one party has a lawyer and the other dosen't the party with the lawyer will win. In no way is that meant to discourage you I just wanted to make sure you knew. So for starters, he needs to bring up the fact that both kids live with her to the judge when he is there and if he can get proof of what she pays for their medical that would be great to have too. If not then he can at least ask the judge to make her show proof of that.

I don't believe she has a lawyer either. Do you know if her HR department would give just anyone that information (about the medical insurance?) I don't know if they are not allowed to do that. Like I said, my sister in law works with her and told us what they pay for medical. She didn't have it in writing though and we don't want to ask her to go to her HR dept. etc. They work at the Cleveland Clinic here in Northeast Ohio. Thanks for your advice thus far, by the way!

Unfortunately, because of privacey issues they wouldn't be able to tell you that. So, what he will have to do is petition the judge to make her bring in proof of insurance. I know it can get frustrating but he will have to remember to take everything with a smile from the judge because if he starts to show his frustration then it will only get worse. He should prepare a list for himself of everything he wants to bring up to the judge so that his mind dosen't go blank on the spot so even a note book or note cards will do.

That's what I figured. I actually have been keeping a list of points that he should bring up when he's there. My husband gets really nervous talking in front of people. He has dyslexia and doesn't read well so he tends to fumble over his words. We plan to have a few "practice" sessions before he goes in there though. Thanks!

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Originally Posted by JoJo76

That's what I figured. I actually have been keeping a list of points that he should bring up when he's there. My husband gets really nervous talking in front of people. He has dyslexia and doesn't read well so he tends to fumble over his words. We plan to have a few "practice" sessions before he goes in there though. Thanks!!

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Your husband needs to do this all himself so that by the time he gets to court, he will be comfortable with the information. You feeding him info is not going to help him in court. The more he does the research and documentation himself, the easier it is for him to remember. Courts don't like when you have to read everything. Also, it was pointless to mention they were briefly married and she didn't know who the father was. The fact is they were married and they have two kids together, and regardless of any mistakes, he has to pay support for both of them.

I have come to realize its hard to get courts to correct their mistakes, especially when it is allowed to go on for so long. If they have been in two separate child supports for a long time, it may be tough to get them to combine it, but you can at least file for a modification to have one be credited toward the other.

[QUOTE=cunfuzed;1330976]your husband needs to do this all himself so that by the time he gets to court, he will be comfortable with the information. You feeding him info is not going to help him in court. The more he does the research and documentation himself, the easier it is for him to remember. Courts don't like when you have to read everything. Also, it was pointless to mention they were briefly married and she didn't know who the father was. The fact is they were married and they have two kids together, and regardless of any mistakes, he has to pay support for both of them. "


While I appreciate you taking the time to answer, I would like to let you know that if my husband could do the research himself I would gladly prefer that. However, we don't have a computer at home because we cannot afford one. Therefore, I spend my lunch hours and time after work on the web looking for any help we can get. My husband has made calls to the child support office himself as, obviously, they cannot talk to me. And we do understand that he has to pay for both children - that's never been an issue nor do I believe that we complain about that or lead anyone to believe that in this post. So please do not preach to me. The "point" I was trying to make (because so often people tend to side with the "poor mother" and view my husband as some kind of loser because he feels he's getting screwed by the system) was that she is far from the innocent and meek little woman in this situation. The whole reason they are on separate orders is BECAUSE a paternity test was needed. If one was not needed, he could have just gone through CSEA like he did with their first child & the orders would be combined. Her infidelity caused them to be on separate orders and he is paying for it (literally!) Is that enough point for you?

Lastly, while courts may not like people "reading" in court, everyone else I've talked to seems to think that some notes are OK to have with you so you don't forget to mention anything.