I've been with my girlfriend for three straight years, and I recently found out I got cheated on. My girlfriend was with another person for seven months. The way I found out was basically catching her in the action. When this happened she revealed the entire truth to me, she would have sex with this other girl behind my back whenever I would go to Mexico every weekend to see my grandmother at the hospital. According to her she regrets it and will never do it again because she is afraid of losing me. She even proposed to me and we got engaged. My problem is this, I am now paranoid. Apart that I've become a jealous "beast" per say, I can't seem to move on from the fact that she had relations with someone else. When we first started going out we were both virgins, I am still a virgin, and I hate the fact that she couldn't wait. She just had to do it with someone else! I don't know what to do. Is me being engaged the right thing? Or should I step away from it all for a bit. I mean, we haven't really broken up throughout these three years. It's probably my fault for not being able to give it to her easily, but sometimes I feel like I should go to some stranger to give my virginity to and make it all equal between us. It's just isn't fair.

Relationships are relationships. The issue here is why she did it, and if she is really sorry. And the other can you really ever forgive her or every time you are gone you will think about it over and over.

It sounds like even though she apologised, you haven't really forgiven her. That's okay, we all have our limits, a lot of people can't get over their partner cheating on them. The title of being "engaged" does not erase your issue with her behaviour, and it doesn't fix the problem. The issue of virginity is also a big one, and you obviously feel let down by the fact that your first time won't be hers.

In short; you need to admit to yourself that you're not okay with the cheating and you need to cut yourself a break and not feel bad about feeling that way. It's normal. We all have our limits, we all have our deal breakers. You're not being unreasonable, a lot of people would feel the same in your position.

I wouldn't go do it with some stranger. There's been enough said about the dangers of that.

I guess it just comes down to do you still love her? And do you believe her?

For me all it takes is someone to backstab me once, and that's regardless of whether it's a partner, friend or work colleague. But that's me.

If you have any doubts you really want to make sure now before you marry. Divorce is never nice.

Your girlfriend, now fiancée, cheating on you for several months and who knows how much longer she would have continue this affair? Of course she is sorry but who knows what is the meaning behind that sorry, sorry it happened or sorry you found out or maybe both. Then she wants to get engage and now your are.

How course you feel betrayed and of all times this happens while your going to see your grandfather. How wrong! I think you should take time away from her and reflect on your relationship with her.

If she was sorry about cheating of you and was really remorseful it would not had happen the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time. Cheaters can change but remember she didn't confess anything to you, she got caught. Usually when someone is guilty of something they would confess and then hope you would forgive then but she didn't do that.

Don't feel like you owed her something because you don't. Getting engage isn't something I would've done and when someone cheats it's hard to get the trust back.

She betrayed you, and I believe you let your fear of being alone lead you into this engagement.

The hard part is you forgave this behavior before you had gotten through the feelings, and before she has had a chance to rebuild the trust again.

Please work through this by communicating honestly your feelings, and let her know your hurt feelings will not just go away just because your engaged.

She is the one caught with her hands in the cookie jar, and no telling how long it would have gone on had you not discovered her infidelity.

Personally, I wouldn't have been so eager to forgive. Not without a lot of self evaluation about this relationship.

I feel the same way! Loyalty is the key to a good relationship, if you can't trust some one from afar how can you trust them up close. Love is only a four letter word with infinity meanings. You can be loved in so many different ways, and she prob had her own way of loving you, just not the way you thought. I know that she told you once you found out a million times that she loves you! And she does just in her own ed up way. But the question is do you like the way she loves you? Do you like the lies, the unsettling feeling in your heart, body, and soul every time she is not in your presence? Do you like the fact that one simple bond that you shared was broken? If she can't even keep a virginity bond with you how in the hell is she going to be loyal in an marriage? The engagement ring is only a symbol to lock you, to let her know just how much more she can get away with. This all will continue to happen until you put your foot down and love yourself first. But if it's what you want hey you can continue to have those "I know I'm not the only one in your world, being jealous of every female she encounters because it's obvious that you didn't really complete her feelings. Trust me I know EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. Once they become a custom to telling you lies they will continue NO MATTER WHAT!! Small lies turn into BIG lies!! Good luck!!