IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is
Getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up
Close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter... either my radiator leaks
Or my exhaust backfires! :eek:

Nice one Magprob... the last one bring another to mind...

When I'm stood emptying the "hot-water bottle" in the morning, at a certain point during the process my exhaust backfires in great gusto!!

Ah!! The joys of living alone - you can belch and fart to your hearts content :D

What I do with mine, is cover up the deficiencies as best as I can with a new wax-job, and now I'm eligible to call myself a 'classic'.

Just like with wine, I might not be better with age - but I'm certainly wiser. Larry, my cat - who you see in my Avatar, still loves me and he's also getting mellower with age.

Welcome to the club and stay finely tuned as best as you can!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_23_18.gif As long as you like yourself, inside and out, you're cool!

HA HA HA! You guys are crackin me up! That reminds me, I need a new hot water bottle! By the way, I do not live alone but I still just let er rip. One thing to still be proud of... lots of noise and disruption!

HI,
I really enjoyed your "tune-up" message!
At 64, I have found that thinking "young", and doing stuff that requires some lifting, working outside, mowing (not a riding mower!), repairing fences, etc, keeps me feeling better.
Those are my tune-ups. Besides high blood pressure and cholesterol and acid reflux under control with daily medications, I am truly blessed with good health, meaning no sickness usually.
I don't do daily "exercises" of any sort, but do like to "work up a sweat" outside. In this 90 degree, humid weather we are having now, it doesn't take long! I don't "push it", but come inside for awhile, have a lot of cold drinks, then go back out for the next "wetting down with sweat" session. Humidity really affects me!
Best of luck.

If I were a car.. . Hmmmm.

I would like to be a red hot little ragtop roadster but unfortunately I think I am a stationwagon, maybe with wood paneling?

LOL

LOL this is a great post... As a car, my interior is cracked and peeling, I'm in dire need of a lube job and my check engine light stays on constantly.
Oh yeah there's rust in the gas tank too! :D Thank goodness for Bondo!

In motorised terms I suppose I'm a battered old Series 1 Landrover - Battered - but with my recon engine ready to give it a few more miles. The carburetter and suspension's not as good as they were now I come to think of it. ;)

Remember the movie, The Gods Must Be Crazy? That old Land Rover that had no brakes and the guy would jump out, out run it to open the gate, when it drove through he would fasten the gate then run and catch up with it and jump back in? Kind of like that ole Land Rover? You better go see a mechanic quick Jonegy! You are a classic in dire need of an overhaul and complete buff out.

Mind you there are still quite a few of us pop-pop-popping along.

There are 5 of us at my local bar and all had our re-cons done by the same mechanic!!

He'll keep us going for years (I hope! ) :D