So this is my first full week of NC. I had a week last week but then broke it when I found out my ex is dating someone already (thus I drunk texted... always a good idea). At any rate, I find the early morning and late night really difficult. I go to bed and don't think about her but then I still have vivid dreams about our past. I wake up and it just hits me... wow, this really is happening. I am not sure what the timeline is on 'getting over' this 4 1/2 year relationship. I think I am doing better and I find myself less and less worrying about her with another guy, and more and more just flat out missing her so it gets kind of weird. She is now dating a guy with my name, only his parents are extremely wealthy, so it like makes me feel insecure about myself... like what in the hell? Was I even good enough, but then I realize that is BS. Everything just kind of seems surreal at points in time, if you know what I mean. It's sometimes like I have more REAL memories right now than when I was even with her. Like I feel truly like I am more with her with a memory than I ever was actually with her. Seems strange I guess. I guess I juts don't know what the NC timeline is like. I mean, since I discovered she was with someone else, it feels like then and only then did we actually breakup, since I know it is truly over. So in a sense I feel like we have really only been broken up for a week. Anyone remember their first week of NC... by NC I mean I don't have a picture of her, no phone number, no text, no email, nothing. Please share!

I think it was someone else who said it's usually a month per year you were together or something like that. You had a long history with her, to think you would be over it by now is not logical, it does get better though

I have heard that as well. Some of my friends have been telling me to just go get a girl in bed to get over this, but I feel like that would just be wrong on my part and I am not the type to use women like that. I don't want to rush into a relationship either, as I cannot bring all of the emotional baggage I still have into a new one...

That won't cure your pain at all. It may take away the pain for a night but that's it and you feel worse after you do it

Quote:

---

First week of NC.Does it get better?

---

Yes it will, especially if you get busy and are proactive in rebuilding your life. Once you realize you are not alone and its your responsibility to make yourself happy, you will look for and find things you enjoy, and people to do things with. Be patient as there are no magic formulas, to ease the pain, you just have to work your way thru it.
Get busy!!

Want to know if nc gets better?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-161688.html

That's me. From day 1 to day 421356124132632632 I've lost count.

Day 1 - 30... mindless... zombie... wreck.

Day 30 - 60... relatively numb... but still, a bit hurt.

Day 60 - 90... started going out... etc.

Day 90+... my ex, who?

Yeah it gets better, but there's a lot of feeling like crap along the way, and your patience will be tested...

When my first big love, 6+ years together, was over... and I was the one making it no contact... you don't cheat on me or set yourself up to cheat and get caught and get to share my life... well, when it was over it stunk for months.

Part of it was circumstances... id just graduated from college, as had most friends, and theyd scattered, so I was a bit isolated.

Also, I needed to be in a funk for a time, I think. Its not unlike mourning the death of a friend. You can go through the same stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), skip stages, change order...

... I spent more time first in denial, then probably depression, then anger... anger was good... helped me sever any desire... but you don't just flick a switch. The girl was in my head for far too long.

So, yes it gets better. If you go out on dates sooner than later, keep your head about you. The other person is human... frustration isn't a free pass to treat someone new like crap. It happens. Did that myself, unintentionally, twice. Great to have guilt lumped on top of the crap pile when you already feel lousy.

Eventually you get your head about you. Finding another person to spend time with can distract you, but like I said, understand you are probably on shaky footing for a time.

It will. Just don't let yourself down by contacting her that will only put you back to stage 1

You have had a long relationship :) which will be hard to get over.. but you sound like a real strong and together person.

So keep yourself busy as much as you can. Go out for walks join a gym. Even if you hate gyms its still fun to go see the grils in spining class :D

But you get my point hehe.

Now is a new page in your life write it well my friend

Regards

I have belonged to a gym for eight years or so, that has never been a problem for me. My biggest problem is by mind, as it loves to let the creative side get a lot more attention than the rational side... which can make for a hectic time. Perhaps it would have been better had I never found out she was dating anyone... but as stated earlier that cemented the 'closure' that I really needed... now I have to learn not to think about the two of them together as that is just anti productive.

You can't control how you feel
But you can control how you act

Most of the time our minds run away
We must not let it affect our daily lives

Best of luck

Oh and to anyone saying that sleeping with another girls doesn't help ? I disagree with that...

It boosts your self-confidence (extremely important when you are dumped) and keeps you in that state for about a week or so (at least for me... ) ;)

Just make sure the other girl knows what you want and has no further expectations... No reason to become an a**hole just because you were dumped.

No intention of doing that. Myself confidence isn't at its highest, but I can assure you I look in the mirror every now and then and like what I see (I know... creepy huh?) I am not the one night stand guy, I just don't get down like that. You ever seen the movie Knocked Up? Of course, if it was her that I had a one night stand with I may not complain, but you get the picture.

Sneeze I read through your thread today. I am an accountant, thus I get bored from time to time (not your typical accountant). Read the entire thing and it is awesome! Thanks buddy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kctiger

No intention of doing that. My self confidence isn't at its highest, but I can assure you I look in the mirror every now and then and like what I see (I know...creepy huh?) I am not the one night stand guy, I just don't get down like that. You ever seen the movie Knocked Up? Ofcourse, if it was her that I had a one night stand with I may not complain, but you get the picture.

Sneeze I read through your thread today. I am an accountant, thus I get bored from time to time (not your typical accountant). Read the entire thing and it is awesome!! Thanks buddy.

---

Well, I'm not the one night stand kind of guy either but I tried it after my break-up and believe me, it helps much more than you can imagine... Especially if it's not only a one-night stand but a girl you hang out/have sex with for 3-4 weeks... Just take all necessary precautions. ;)