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-   -   Confused and willing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=270148)

  • Oct 16, 2008, 04:02 PM
    heismyheart
    Confused and willing
    I have been dating this great guy for about 6 months now. We had everythign going great for a month then he started to get insecure and jealous. This wasn't a little bit, it was major big issues to our relatioship. I love this boy with all my heart and I am all the time trying to show hi, my affection but he thinks that I do things behind his back or want another guy. He thinks that when I get my vehicle that I am going to cheat on him and I have told him over and over again that I would nvr do that to him ever! It just won't get through to him. He has never raised a hand to me and he is on some medicine that we think will work or is hoping St. Johns wort but I just don't know what to do anymore. I try to tel him my feelings and he just doesn't believe or trust me. He promised to do so but won't. I don't want to leave him, I just can't bring myself to do that. So how can I show him and make this work?
  • Oct 16, 2008, 04:37 PM
    Romefalls19

    It's not your job to show him anything. It's his issue to work on and his alone. If he cannot admit he has a problem then he isn't willing to work on the relationship and it just won't last. I've been down the jealousy road before, didn't turn out positive until I worked out my issues
  • Oct 16, 2008, 06:10 PM
    JBeaucaire

    If you want him to stop, you have to leave him over it... specifically. Then and only then will he rethink this behavior. There is no "talking someone out of acting this way." No punishment, no cure. Period.

    So, you're unwilling to walk away for any reason, your love is more important than the reality of your relationship? Fine. This it the relationship you're choosing then.

    If you stay at his side, this is the guy you will get.

    If you SPECIFICALLY kick him to the curb during and because of his jealous ways and MAKE him go away, he may get better a year or so from now, maybe you can try again. I PROMISE he won't get better for you without the break.

    More than likely you will have to SPECIFICALLY dump him for this and NOT ever take him back for the jealousy lesson to actually be learned. I'm sorry, but this means you're probably fixing him for his next girlfriend... or the one after that. The next one may have to dump him for the same reason.

    Life is a journey. Your love doesn't change the process. This guy has a lot of stops to make before he's ready to have a girlfriend. I hope you realize this sooner than later.

    Love is awesome, but it's not enough.

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