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-   -   I was not adopted, I know my mom. I'm looking for my dad. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=269800)

  • Oct 15, 2008, 03:59 PM
    KaitlinMLupiani
    I was not adopted, I know my mom. I'm looking for my dad.
    My name is Kaitlin.
    I am 17 years old.
    I was born in Memphis, Tennessee to a Joyce E. Blankenship.
    I was born February 15th, 1991 at Baptist East in Memphis

    I know, this maybe be too little of information to find out who my biological father is, but it's worth a shot.

    Darrell W. - (You never left my mom with your last name) Memphis, Tennessee -
    You were friends with a Steve who in about 1990 introduced you to Joyce E. Blankenship.
    At the time you were about 6'0 dirty blonde curly hair, blue maybe hazel eyes.
    Possibly 20 years old.
    You had fair skin and you were about 220, maybe 230 pounds.
    You met at a place called "The Bottoms" off Convington Place.
    It's possible that you are about 37 maybe 38 now.
    It's also possible that you have no idea I exist.

    I'm posting this everywhere I can get it.
    I'm in search of someone, who is probably the hardest person to find.

    The reason why:
    I was told at the age of 15 that my biological father was not Jason F. Lupiani.
    In a way, I knew it mainly because me and my brother looked completely different.
    I looked nothing like the rest of my family.
    I was so fair skinned, it was definitely not even possible for even a 25% italian to be so light.
    I looked nothing like anyone except for a bit like my mother.
    It wasn't a shock as much as a betrayel.
    I understand why it happened, and how it happened.
    I just don't understand how someone as smart as my mother could let it happen.
    Back to what I was saying, the reason why I am so wanting to find my biological father is, Jason F. Lupiani (The father I've known my whole life) really isn't a good father to me.
    He's nothing to me actually, we don't even talk anymore.
    I want to know why I look the way I look.
    It's a never ending battle when I look in the mirror.
    It's like I can't feel complete, knowing that I don't really know WHERE I come from.

    If anything, how should I go about what I am doing.
    Especially with the information I have. Little, but it's some.
    Any suggestions?
  • Oct 15, 2008, 04:24 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    First finding a man who had sex with your mother is not going to give you any idea of where you came from. You are who are you are, made by the people who raised you. If they were bad parents then they were bad, but some stranger who was never there will not be a real father either, if he even wants to know you.

    Buidling up a false hope for some long lost love of a father is setting yourself up for a real let down, what if you never finds him, what if you do and he spits on you and calls you a name, it all happens every day.

    What is wrong is you have not learned to be happy with who you are, to look in the mirror and know you are the person you made yourself into.

    I would suggest highly counseling for self worth and to be happy with who you are.

    Then yes go find hm if you want, but do so just to find your roots, not to fill a spot that you believe is missing.
  • Oct 15, 2008, 10:02 PM
    KaitlinMLupiani

    First, finding a man who had sex with my mother I know is not going to give me exactly the idea of where I came from.
    As for the parents who raised me, my mother is a hard working woman who lives in a huge house, has nice cars, and makes a great life for herself, including providing for me and my 14 year old brother.
    As for the father that raised me, he is not a bad person either.
    He works for the city, he has two houses, a wife, and a newborn son.
    I'm not looking for someone to fulfill the needs of a Father.
    I'm looking for "roots" as you've called them.

    There is no false hope.
    Even if he spits on me and calls me a name, that's who biologically created me.
    To see his face, and to see why I look the half of the way I look is what I am looking for.
    I'm not looking to create a new family, have a new life, and have a happy ever after.

    As to what I was saying about what I am missing.
    I'm a 17 year old teenage girl who can't do a project on her Fathers family history, simply because I am honest.
    I tell everyone that I have a DAD, I don't know my father.
    That's the truth.

    I may have said it sounding as if I was saying it in a way I want everything to be okay.

    I am only saying, I want to find the person who created me.
    I don't care if he's black, white, mentally ill, or perfectly healthy.
    I want to know like everyone other teenage girl, the face and genes that created her.
    Even if it doesn't turn into a relationship, or something else.
    It's just there is something not complete about me, and it's not myself worth.

    I am not one of those kids that sit there and pity themselves.
    I have created who I am today, the way I perceive myself and why I act the way I act.
    I'm looking for something deeper than that.
    I'm looking for the other half of my genes, and if you can't understand that, than so be it.

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