Ask Me Help Desk - What can I do.

What can I do.

OKay so here goes
My ex took me to court in nyc for custody of our 4 yr old daughter. My daughter was born and raised in pa. so I went to court and told the judge that nyc does not have jurisdiction it took exactly 1 yr for her to agree with me. So now I haven't allowed my daughter back in nyc for fear my ex will try something sneaky behind my back. The day the judgement was made I told my ex and his lawyer that he would now have to come to pa and file for visitation or custody if he chose to take it there again.
So here's the question, well 2 questions.
If I take him to domestics, do we have to be in the same room?our relationship has gotten extremely volatile and I get so emotional I cry and come close to vomiting,(yeah its that's bad) can things be done with him or myself over the phone?
Second question- if granted a child support order, can I allow my daughter to go on visits in nyc without being worried he won't return her home?
I can't file for custody as he cleaned me out having to pay lawyers and gas and tolls and such but they still need to see each other. I just can't trust him to do what's right.

If you have custody and you have a visitation schedule spelled out, then he would be guilty of kidnapping if he didn't return your daughter after the visitation.

As to being in the same room, I'm afraid you would have to have some interaction.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ariyah1

OKay so here goes
my ex took me to court in nyc for custody of our 4 yr old daughter. my daughter was born and raised in pa. so i went to court and told the judge that nyc does not have jurisdiction it took exactly 1 yr for her to agree with me. so now i havent allowed my daughter back in nyc for fear my ex will try something sneaky behind my back. the day the judgement was made i told my ex and his lawyer that he would now have to come to pa and file for visitation or custody if he chose to take it there again.
so heres the question, well 2 questions.
if i take him to domestics, do we have to be in the same room?our relationship has gotten extremely volatile and i get so emotional i cry and come close to vomiting,(yeah its thats bad) can things be done with him or myself over the phone?
second question- if granted a child support order, can i allow my daughter to go on visits in nyc without being worried he wont return her home?
i can't file for custody as he cleaned me out having to pay lawyers and gas and tolls and such but they still need to see each other. i just can't trust him to do whats right.

OK, let me take a stab at this. You and your daughter live in Pennsylvania NOW and that is why NY had no jurisdiction over the custody case? (Where she was born and raised does not matter.) There is no support order, no custody order right now? If not he could pretty much take her at any time - you have equal rights. You would have a fight on your hands but I would expect the Court eventually to order her returned unless, of course, you are somehow unfit.

Yes, you will have to face him in Court. If you behave this way when you see him you will not make a good impression on the Judge - to say the least. It will be "assumed" that this is the behavior you exhibit when you discuss him and your daughter is present and you could very well be seen as interfering with his rights as the father.

No, it can't be done over the phone. The Judge can't judge your demeanor and state of mind over the phone.

Child support and visitation are two different things. Support does not entitled him to time with the child. If he gets a visitation order you HAVE to let him take the child in compliance with the Order or else you are in contempt and can be fined. People have actually been jailed but those cases are few and far between. You certainly can express your concerns to the Judge - if they are valid - and present your proof and ask for supervised visitation.

As far as guaranteeing if she goes with him he will bring her back - nothing in life is guaranteed BUT if you have an order of support and he violates it then he's the one in contempt who can be fined and/or jailed or lose visitation.

Did that answer your questions?

I am confused that on this thread he is making you sick and you want to vomit; on another thread you still love him and don't know what to do. Or are there two ex-husbands?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ariyah1

not really. i stated the case was rejected in nyc. thanks 4 ur time though.

I'm not quite sure what this has to do with the advice Scott gave you. It doesn't matter if the case was rejected in NYC or not; you still need to show up at court and be in the same room with him.

You can still file for custody and physical placement of your child. If you're having that much financial trouble, you can file a petition to have your fees waived; my husband's ex-wife did this each of the 3 times she filed for divorce.