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-   -   Surviving a crazy ex-gf am I handling it right? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=269574)

  • Oct 15, 2008, 04:28 AM
    Firedogking
    Surviving a crazy ex-gf am I handling it right?
    I am in shock as I type this. I have always been a nice dependable guy. The guy many friends mom's says I wish my daughter looked for a man like you. I had a rule when it came to relationships and my job. I never date anyone I work with. And I kept this rule for 17 years... till last year. I got a new job working in a call center and met a gal. While working together we became friends. I promised myself I would stick my golden rule. But the attention she gave me and the fact I had turned 35 and was single had me feeling well maybe I was wrong and I could take a chance. Well after I left that company.. we continued to be friends then started dating and then it became serious. She did so many things that I thought were cool and amazing. She sews by hand.. made me a quilt. Cooks like a goddess and was extremely passionate and caring towards me. But there were little signs but I shrugged them off. I caught her in white lies. She said she had no relationship with her parents. She didn't want her brother to see me.. because supposedly her ex-husband was in contact with him and he was a jealous person. She made comments that suggested she had racist beliefs. All those combined did worry me but she was so nice early on I ignored them.
    Then as our economy soured and the gas prices rose the cost of driving to see each other increased. We live an hour from each other. And she began to complain. She wanted us living together. I wasn't quite ready for that. And every few weeks we would have a discussion started by her where she would exclaim that we had no future together.
    I would assuade her fears and the discussion would end. Then finally one day she really made a big deal of it and it got nasty on the phone. Then it seemingly got worked out but it was brought up again. Finally We agreed or so I thought that she was right.
    WE didn't have a future. I tried to put the blame on myself. I suggested I wasn't mature to have a serious relationship after being single for so long. I said she deserved better.

    She agreed.. but wanted to be friends. Then question was could we still have sex.
    I said no. And that's when she went nuts. She said I must be gay. Said She was pregnant.
    That she would do everything to ruin my life just as I had ruined hers!

    That day I called my cell company and changed my number. I haven't talked to her since.
    I thought it was over.

    Till yesterday. I came home grabbed my mail. And in it was a letter without a return to sender address. I opened it and sure enough it was hand typed and it was a long rambling rant that suggested all kinds of outlandish things she had done to me.
    She suggested that I was currently jobless because of her and that state officials would be contacting me for "raping" her.

    Suffice it to say I am horrified right now. I didn't sleep well last night. I intend on going to my local police station and showing them the letter. I also intend on letting my boss no just in case any weird letters show up at the job.

    What has me worried is that soon I Am leaving my house for about 4 days and it will be unsupervised. I mean what else can I do or should do?


    Shaken to the core.

    Thanks so much. Firedogking.:(
  • Oct 15, 2008, 05:59 AM
    Romefalls19

    Alert the local authorities as they are better prepared to handle this type of situation
  • Oct 15, 2008, 06:20 AM
    Guidostern

    You definitely need to contact your local county sheriff or police department. Most cities, like the one I work in will have a program for you to have your area patrolled or your house watched... I know the two depts I have worked for do it... also, I would speak to someone about filing a report for stalking or harassment...
  • Oct 15, 2008, 06:30 AM
    talaniman

    Relax, and not only keep the letter, but let someone know about it. Keep your insurances paid up, also.

    No telling what a nut will do as "hell hath no fury......................................!!!!!"

    Good Luck.
  • Oct 15, 2008, 06:44 AM
    bigbird213

    I think your best bet, is like was said before, let someone know - authorities or otherwise. That will at least prevent it from being a he said/she said battle, if it comes to that. You will have support.

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