Ask Me Help Desk - Divorce Modifications

I live in MA, and I have been divorced for a while. I have been attempting to modify my divorce because the original divorce was done without a lawyer and I screwed myself. I know it was my own fault. I am paying a large amount for child support based on my income plus overtime. I am struggling to survive because of this. I also pay for everything else, activities, school, medical, dental, sports, etc. In addition I go to my ex's house 3 days a week to watch the children while she works. The distance is too far now for them to come to me and the hours are very early. She only works 16 hours a week and I have to work 50 + and I provide the child care for her. I had hired a lawyer to try and change some of these things and I got a couple of minor things changed through mediation just with the threat of impending court costs. My lawyer told me that since I agreed to all this stuff in the original divorce that I could not change these things with out a "change of circumstance" It is difficult to survive. Does anyone know what legitamte "change of circumstance" I could use. The I liked the lawyer I had but I do not think she was the best, I think I could have pushed for more. I would like to get my child support reduced, I would also like to have my children for the summer while they are out of school. I would like her to have to work to make a living instead of living off me. I am not sure why I pay so much. Because I supply everything for the kids except housing and food.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamerp1970

I live in MA, and i have been divorced for a while. I have been attempting to modify my divorce because the original divorce was done without a lawyer and i screwed myself. I know it was my own fault. I am paying a large amount for child support based on my income plus overtime. I am struggling to survive because of this. I also pay for everything else, activities, school, medical, dental, sports, etc. In addition I go to my ex's house 3 days a week to watch the children while she works. The distance is too far now for them to come to me and the hours are very early. She only works 16 hours a week and i have to work 50 + and i provide the child care for her. i had hired a lawyer to try and change some of these things and i got a couple of minor things changed through mediation just with the threat of impending court costs. My lawyer told me that since i agreed to all this stuff in the original divorce that i could not change these things with out a "change of circumstance" It is difficult to survive. does anyone know what legitamte "change of circumstance" i could use. The I liked the lawyer i had but i do not think she was the best, I think i could have pushed for more. I would like to get my child support reduced, I would also like to have my children for the summer while they are out of school. I would like her to have to work to make a living instead of living off me. I am not sure why i pay so much. because i supply everything for the kids except housing and food.

You can always apply to the Court for a modification of support/visitation/whatever you would like changed. You take your proof, she takes hers, the Judge hears it and makes a decision. In most States you cannot do this immediately following a divorce but you indicate you've been divorced for "a while."

Changed circumstances are (basically) decreased income. Increased expenses don't matter much and in many States child support is by a set calculation or percentage. You make X, she makes Y, she has custody, you pay Z.

Please note my signature and do it yourself divorces - this happens all the time. You're not alone.

I recently move and bought a house with my girlfriend. Everything is in her name because I fear my ex will try and get any assets I obtain since my original divorce provides no protection for me. My expenses have gone up considerably. The children come every other weeken and have their own rooms and a nice house. Is this a reasonable change of circumstance. I would like my child support based on my base income not my over time. I was told once that since I worked overtime all of the time they can count it. It is a catch 22, if I do not work overtime I cannot survive, but by working ovwertime I have to pay more. I pay $425 a week and it is killing me. It is almost 50% of my take home pay. I also moved further away so my travel expenses have increased. Are these change of circumstance or will a judge just tell me that they were my choice

The judge will tell you that you knew how much you had to pay it was your choice to spread yourself thinner finanially. You didn't have to move and create greater expenses and you didn't have to buy a bigger house with your girlfriend. Your kids have to come first. Those are not a changes considered in support payments. They are not considered at all in support. It is based off your pay you are supposed to be able (as an adult) to figure out how to live on the rest. So if you bring in those things to the judge he/she will basically tell you to stop living outside of your means.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamerp1970

I recently move and bought a house with my girlfriend. everything is in her name because i fear my ex will try and get any assets i obtain since my original divorce provides no protection for me. My expenses have gone up considerably. The children come every other weeken and have their own rooms and a nice house. Is this a reasonable change of circumstance. I would like my child support based on my base income not my over time. I was told once that since i worked overtime all of the time they can count it. it is a catch 22, if i do not work overtime i cannot survive, but by working ovwertime i have to pay more. I pay $425 a week and it is killing me. It is almost 50% of my take home pay. I also moved further away so my travel expenses have increased. are these chnage of circumstance or will a judge just tell me that they were my choice

No, increased expenses (and I thought I covered this) are not a reason to reduce support. Substantially reduced income is - a reduction not of your choice.

It was your choice to buy a house, move, whatever. Buying a house "with your girlfriend" but putting it in her name may very well get you in serious legal trouble.

I would not advise moving to reduce support - if the whole house issue is opened... well, as I said - you could very well by burying or hiding assets.

Often depending on your court they do not allow changes for certain time frame unless there is some changes.

So it is possible that after filing and going to court, the judge will not hear the case and you could be held responsible for court costs. This is a risk you take.