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-   -   Is it wrong of me not to like sex? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=269189)

  • Oct 14, 2008, 07:44 AM
    mogoverthemoon
    Is it wrong of me not to like sex?
    I'm 21, male, not gay and had sex only twice (both one night stands btw) I think that this may have had a part to play on my opinion on sex itself but I have not got a clue.
    To add to it I do have a poor out look on women (sorry), not that I don't respect them its just that I have never ever found a women at least half interesting to speak to which does make it hard to talk to them lol.
    But the act of sex itself for me just feels wrong in a way, like its more trouble than its worth, to be honest masturbation has so many more positives, but is this out look wrong at all??
  • Oct 14, 2008, 08:03 AM
    starfirefly

    You may find that sex feels more fulfilling if you love the person you are doing it with, and I think you need to find a mature girl who actually has something to say. I have the same feeling sometimes about men who just are to imature to have a real conversation it seems to be unatractive, and that does give you a pook outlook on them
  • Oct 14, 2008, 08:23 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    random sex without having love is not normally great for most people. It is when you find the person you really care about.

    Now with that said it does sounds like you have some relationship issues if you have not at least felt you were in love with someone by this point and time.

    I think some counseling may be a good thing to help you come to understand yourself.

    Also of course excessive masturbation can cause you to latter have performance problems when you are with another person.
  • Oct 14, 2008, 11:05 AM
    Choux

    It's not a matter or right or wrong... you don't have to like anything. Because the women you have met don't appeal to you doesn't mean that you may meet someone more intelligent and with integrity later on in life. But, still, you may not be interested further than having a great friend, no sex.

    I think you could enjoy learning about what causes your feelings and motivations, the unconscious ones and so forth. Go to a good therapist to discuss your life so far. It would be a shame to end up a masturbation addict without giving yourself a chance at relationship.

    Best wishes. :)
  • Oct 14, 2008, 04:12 PM
    Xrayman

    I think you misunderstand (at the moment) just how good and real relationships form, you have had two one night stands, that to me shows that two out of two sexual encounters have been non-relationship-forming types.

    I think if you look a little deeper within yourself rather than "women don't interest ME" (this is looking externally), you may find that with a greater feeling of empathy, you may find some woman who picks-up on your keeness to be "together" emotionally and sexually-then I think you may find that sex is friggin marvellous!
  • Oct 16, 2008, 10:05 AM
    slapshot_oi

    If you only had sex twice then you really haven't had sex at all. So really, you don't know if you like sex or not, but I'll guarantee you will.

    You best bet is to find a girlfriend.
  • Oct 16, 2008, 11:03 AM
    mogoverthemoon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by slapshot_oi View Post
    If you only had sex twice then you really haven't had sex at all. So really, you don't know if you like sex or not, but I'll guarantee you will.

    You best bet is to find a girlfriend.

    Thanks but that's easyer said than done though. If I could get a girlfriend I would but girls just don't seem to be much attracted towards me if I'm honest.

    I understand what some of you are saying like when you are in a relastionship you will enjoy sex more due to that you want the other person to feel good etc, but to me sex just feels awkward in away an I don't seem to like 'something' about it, is it normal when you start having sex to be like that and grow out of it?
  • Oct 16, 2008, 11:35 AM
    smoothy
    You have to find a woman that you enjoy as a partner, not a sperm receptical to really enjoy sex to its fullest. Not everyone is a match for just anyone. Keep looking there are a lot of women out there.

    And based on what you said you haven't been looking long enough, or closely enough.


    And if by any chance you have a "gods gift to women" attitude I've seen in some men its time to work on getting rid of that. No matter what your intellectual level might be there is a woman out there who can match or beat it. Unless you are Steven Hawking then it might be a bit difficult.

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