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-   -   Why does she think I'm strange (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=26917)

  • May 30, 2006, 11:38 AM
    blueiman
    Why does she think I'm strange
    We were going away for the day to a pool party. I asked my girlfriend if it was OK if I put my car in her garage. She was looking at me like why would you do that... so I explained its going to be 90 plus and I thought it would be a good idea to keep it out of the baking sun.
    Later at the end of the day. She asked me why I had to put my car in her garage. She looked at me and said what I did was straight. Aren’t cars supposed to be designed to stay outside and take the heat? I mean she seems to make a big deal about this and I could not understand why she was doing this.
    Then she slams me with... when we where at the party I was not social enough. Again she thought that was weird to. But, I told her wait a minute I was talking to all kinds of people. She said, well I did not see you talking only sitting there doing nothing. We where outside enjoying a pool party.
    Then, she gets on me about eating too much at the party. I said eating too much what do you mean. She said, you had hamburger, hotdog, and two sausages. I said no, I did not have the hamburger. Anyway again, I could not understand why she was doing this. I asked her and she said, see I can never talk to you about what is bothering me so forget it. I told her sure talk to me. But, don’t make me feel weird. Then she, got up left the room because I would not stop talking about it. What!
    Does anyone know or understand what this is about because I do not understand it. Any ideas on why she was blasting me with this crap?
  • May 30, 2006, 11:42 AM
    J_9
    Sounds to me like she may have some insecurities that she is taking out on you, you know just like the money thing. How long have you been together? Live together? Ages? These questions I am asking could all have a bearing on which way I may go with my answers.
  • May 30, 2006, 11:57 AM
    Wildcat21
    I agree... you're being WAY to insecure with her - GIVE it back to her... answer HER with questions - DON'T GIVE her straight answers here - bust on her!! She's killing you man. You're way too uptight here. She's killing you!!
  • May 30, 2006, 12:13 PM
    J_9
    Wildcat could very well, be right, but I hate to answer your questions with other questions, however, if I know the answers to my questions above, I could possibly guide you easier.
  • May 30, 2006, 12:13 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    I agree with the others... whatever "it" is that is bothering her, I don't think she is really talking about it.

    This may be another example of not properly identifying the problem. So what you get stuck with is dealing with the endless array of symptoms.

    Better sit down and, in as calm a manner as possible, get to the bottom of it.

    I hope this helps.
  • May 31, 2006, 12:28 AM
    Krs
    God she sounds confused... and strange... she's strange not you!!
    Was she on - time on the month? Lol
  • May 31, 2006, 12:56 AM
    Krs
    RickJ - this is another one :(
  • May 31, 2006, 07:12 PM
    s_cianci
    She is emotionally abusing you. Stop taking it from her. Tell her upfront in no uncertain terms that you're not going to stand for it anymore and she's to treat you with the respect and dignity that any human being owes another. IF she doesn't like it, then so long sweetheart! She's not worth it.
  • Jun 1, 2006, 12:04 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by s_cianci
    She is emotionally abusing you. Stop taking it from her. Tell her upfront in no uncertain terms that you're not going to stand for it anymore and she's to treat you with the respect and dignity that any human being owes another. IF she doesn't like it, then so long sweetheart! She's not worth it.


    Nice one!! Emotionally abusing you - can't think of a better way of puttin it.. well done S_Cianci.
  • Jun 1, 2006, 08:35 AM
    talaniman
    Usually pepole who abuse have been abused. If you take her abuse then you allow her to continue the cycle. Stand your own ground! You don't have to be in an abusive relationship.
  • Jun 1, 2006, 09:07 AM
    Myth
    I have gone through and read most of your other posts concerning this woman and I got to say ditch the twitch and get on with life your not doing yourself any favors by being a door mat. Your not doing her any favors by allowing yourself to be treated this way. How long till she runs your credit into the ground, yourself esteem. How long before you become the poor guy walking around walmart saying yes dear, OK dear, if that will make you happy dear... while you stand there miserable?? Time to take a good hard look at what the future holds if you continue to allow this to happen.
  • Jun 7, 2006, 04:56 PM
    Chery
    Dear blue... I agree with Myth all the way. It's time for you to get your self-respect, your finances, and mental health all in order. To do this, you should pack everything else you have, put them all in the car, and drive toward the sunset. Stay with family and/or friends for a while for additional support.

    No, it's not a movie, it's your life! You need to retrieve control over your life and the sooner, the better.

    It might be hard at first, but you know that we all survive breakups, and being alone for a while is better than staying with abusers.

    Read all of your previous threads about how you've been treated by her and your choice should not be difficult to make.

    When are you going to realize enough is enough!

    Good luck, keep us posted.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
  • Jun 7, 2006, 08:11 PM
    orange
    Can't give out anymore reputation today, but I agree with what Myth, Chery, s_cianci, and others have said... she sounds controlling and it's time for you to stick up for yourself and / or dump her! Think of it this way: if your genders were reversed, and she was the guy, everyone would say it was abuse that might eventually escalate to battering. I know a friend of mine had a boyfriend who acted a LOT like your girlfriend... made her feel like her every move was wrong, made her feel like ****, like nothing, and as a result kept her down where he wanted her. Later on he did start hitting her. Your girlfriend may not start physically hitting you, but she's already hitting you in your self-esteem and your heart. You deserve way better.
  • Jun 8, 2006, 01:45 PM
    Serpentina77
    Before saying she's emotionally abusive, maybe you need to review that night.

    Something is definitely bothering her. It's not necessarily you, but this is how a lot of people cope with it. I don't think it has anything to do with her thinking you are weird, it's more than something is biting her and she is taking it out on you.

    When I was younger I remember having a boyfriend who I always picked on. It was mean but I didn't notice it. What was bothering me was that he was touching me too much, so I'd pick on him to make him avoid me. I realize that now.

    Maybe her comments about you not really talking with people or spending a lot of time eating, is really about HER. Maybe she said you weren't talking to anyone because she felt you weren't talking to her enough, maybe she said you spent too much time eating so much because you were eating instead of spending time with her. She might even go out on a limb and think you were just using her garage to keep your car cool and a stupid thing like that.

    I could be wrong but she's definitely insecure. Don't be too hasty to leave her, find out what's really wrong. The way she reacted obviously suggests it's something bigger than you "being weird" or maybe it's something very small that's driving her crazy!

    Good luck. And if it does continue, then just get out of it. Love is about fighting to make it better, not fighting just to fight.
  • Jun 23, 2006, 11:44 AM
    blueiman
    Thanks to all here for the comments. I appreciate them all...

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