Hi there, as a young child my parents always wanted me to be the best I could be, and they basically taught me to get the best things out of life.
However, now that I am a fully grown adult, I recently noticed that this attitude I have developed has turned on me 180%. I can no longer enjoy my life as I used to when I was younger, I always find myself competing with others consciously and subconsciously for the better positions in my workplace, and as soon as someone who is a tiny bit better than me comes along, I get all worked up and tense and I swear I am unable to concentrate on my own work and I don't succeed.
How can I put these jealous feelings behind me? I would really like to be the best I can be in life, without having to hate anyone just because they seem to be doing better than I am. Because no matter where I turn, I find no matter how hard I work, there is always someone better than me who gets everything they want in life so easily. Please help explain why this is so, and how I an get rid of this anxiety because it is driving me crazy.
Thanks for listening to this dull rant.

I hate to say this but... it is starting to sound like an old cliché and used too frequently here giving the impression that we are no longer, as adults, to work out our own foibles.

I have shortcomings but have always managed to become relaxed enough within myself to work them out but we are only human and allowed to err in some areas.

So, I say, little, seek some counselling, mild counselling to work out that anxiety issue on being an over achiever with jealousy issues. If you have a pastor, then that would be a good way to go, find inner peace, possibly some yoga exercises would benefit you in order to start turning inward to seek an answer and follow through.

I wish you success. You have already identified what is wrong and that is the first step and shows maturity. My best thoughts.

Well one problem is I am a Nihilist, so there is no Spiritual advisor I can go to. And I find it does not help sadly. And my therapist isn't helping me either.

It seems like you are a perfectionist- are you an only child?

Nope. I have a brother and a sister, but my parents mainly focused on me when I was growing up. And this is odd too, because my brother and sister are actually better off than I am.

How about a practical program... since you are all wrapped up in yourself... your parents in a sense "overvalued" you... time for you to devote yourself to others so you can find what real love and happiness is all about... giving of yourself. :)

See if you can find a nursing home where you can help with recreation time of seniors. Volunteer there a couple of days a week. That would be a start for you.

YOu will find that you will really enjoy it. :)

Best wishes!