So first off some info on myself. I am a regular guy I stay pretty active I work out 1-2 hours almost daily so I'm in pretty good shape. I am 19 years old and the girl I'm referring to in the tittle was my first truly serious relationship beyond simple High School relationships. We went out for about 10 months and were great friends for about 2 months before we started dating. We broke it off with each other about two weeks ago. It was a fairly clean cut and we bolth wanted to stay good friends.

So my problem starts about five or six days ago when out of nowhere she started to be a complete b---h to me. She started ignoring what few calls and texts I gave her and stopped talking to me at all. When I did by chance get ahold of her she would only reply simply with yes, no, ok's and that sort of thing some times her answers did not even make sense with what the hell I was talking about. So in general she is making it very hard for me to even be her friend and if I dident love the girl so much I would just tell her to F--- off but I really do love her and want to try and be at least friends with her because I enjoy her company. But she is also making things seem pretty akward and her act is just really pissing me off.

Another thing that throws me off is that when I come over every few days to say hi or just to drop off some of her things she acts 100% opposite of or phone talking she is really nice to me and gives me a lot of hugs and is almost kind of clingy. The girl is really just doing a damn number on my head.

Also it's probably less important but ever sense we broke up I've been finding myself slip more and more into depressions nasty grip :( because apart from a small 30 hours a week job and a few close friends (all of them have full time jobs and GF's of their own) who really don't have a lot of time to hang out with me and I also gave up parties for this girl so my social contacts are pretty slim. Also I have to mention that I also had to give up my car for afew weeks so I can't even drive myself anywhere. :mad: So I am finding myself with a lot of free time to brood so I wonder what I should try and do about that.

If you guys need any more info just let me know.

OK Simple, here it is she wants you to leave her completely alone. Only talk to her on her time frame and that sort of thing. Let her have it DON'T call or text or anything. Let her have the space she wants. She is purposely messing with your head. So just go completely no contact and get busy living your own life. Build your social contacts and that sort of thing. Working out helps a lot. Just get busy with your own life and let her have hers. Good Luck and God Bless

Thanks for the quick reply. I also realized she seems to want to be left alone but when I do leave her alone sometimes she asks why I ignore her... Go figure...

You've already pinpointed all the issues. You need more going on in your life than a 30hr job and a daily workout. Both of those things are things you did for yourself. Your girlfriend would be the THIRD thing you're doing just for you.

Get involved in some weekly things that involve some notable time commitment and benefit to others. Something you have to THINK about a lot is good, too. Contact some community centers or churches and see if they have some small/short projects you can help them with.

The only cure for depressing silence is noise. The best noise is "people noise". You will HAVE to find those people situations and put yourself into the middle of them. You HAVE to.

Also, you already know texting/talking to your ex isn't working. How long are you going to keep that irritation going? Again, this is so unnecessary. You do need friends, but not ones that depress you. You don't need any friends like that.

Hi Joe
Being friends with this girl is not a good idea at this point. You say your still in love with her so you are just trying to be friends to have a chance to get back with her.

She is giving you these signals to show you she is no longer interested , take the hint and just let her be for the moment. Otherwise you'll just be hanging on with false hope until you finally let go. Once you have healed then maybe you can be friends again.

It's not easy I know but really the best option for the pain to go as quickly as possible.

And as JB said , get out amongst other people , that will help you forget about her. Not straight away , it just takes time , but the sooner you let it go the sooner the healing starts.

Good Luck!

Yea I realized this and I've been trying to limit my contact with her. The funny thing is today she invited me over for coffee early this morning and then on the way to work she held wanted to hold my hand and said he loved me and gave a goodbye kiss.

Well I for one don't think ill be buying that act to keep me on the back burner lol.

First of all Joe, please tell me, who broke up with who? Was it amicable, as you said "a fairly clean cut"? What was the REASON given for the break up?

Ehhh sorry for the typo meant to be "early this morning and then on the way to work she held my hand" they should really have an edit >.>

I guess if I had to say one person she broke up with me because I came on to some hard times because I quit my job then the job I had lined up fell through and I was unemployed for 3 or 4 months and it put a lot of strain on our relationship because she was paying for everything. But in turn I paid for everything the first 3 or 4 months of our going out when she was jobless.

So this morning where you on your way to HER work, or YOUR new job? Or are youworking together?

No no, I came over to her house early in the morning using my bros car. We had some coffee then I drove her to work and came back home and went back to bed lol.

So Joe, I am taking it that you are still at this point unemployed?

Nope. I said in a previous post that for the last week or so I've been working a minor 30 hours a week job and just in general trying to get my life back on track.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SimpleguyJoe

Ehhh sorry for the typo meant to be "early this morning and then on the way to work she held my hand" they should really have an edit >.>

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There actually is an edit button at the bottom of your posts Joe :)

:edit: actually your edit button only becomes active after you've been a member for 48 hours

Yes you did Joe, sorry I missed that. So, what your telling me is, she broke up with you because you fell on hard times? Correct? So it was OK with her that YOU paid for everything in the first 3 to 4 months, but NOT OK with HER to pay for things for 3 or 4 months? Hince the break-up. I am inclined to agree with the majority of the responses you got, but I think she cares for you more than she would like to admit. She is keeping her distance in hopes you will get your life back on track therefore taking the financial responsibilities off her. I think once you do that, you might count her in. There is the possibility however, that the times she is being rude on the phone, she is with someone else, however, I wouldn't understand her picking up the phone when you call if that where the case and only to be rude as she is in control of answering or not. However, when you show up at her door, she is no longer in control if she has a visitor besides yourself. So some things in her behavior do not add up for me other than to say, I do think she cares for you on a great deal and is hoping you will get everything together.

Yea for now ill just see how things work out I guess and keep a general NC rule for awhile.