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-   -   Men and Fantasies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=268359)

  • Oct 11, 2008, 07:28 PM
    missingpieces
    Men and Fantasies
    So this question is more so for men I think, or for women who have some experience in this area:

    My man claims he doesn't really have a fantasy. I know there has to be something in that dirty little mind of his, but the problem is figuring out what! We have had many talks about this, and while I myself have a hard time pinpointing one on the spot, we have pretty much tried the things I want to try. So, how do I get this information out of him?
    For our anniversary he bought me this sexy bra and thong set and told me that he had this fantasy when he bought it that I would wear it underneath something all day and he wouldn't know it until I took my clothes off. That totally worked and led to great, uh... stuff happening ;)
    At least that was a start!

    But now I don't know how to get other things of a fantasy-type nature out of him. Any suggestions?
  • Oct 11, 2008, 08:02 PM
    starfirefly

    Try different things like dress up in costumes or wear a wig of a different colour, he may just be shy and no open to telling you, or he may just not know what his fantasies are until you discover them
  • Oct 11, 2008, 11:03 PM
    missingpieces

    I have a feeling he is just too shy to tell me which is why its been hard to get him to open up the few times we have done something he really wanted to do, but I think costumes is a good place to start. Thanks!
  • Oct 12, 2008, 06:57 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    Go to ( or go to online) some of the sex toy, or costume places and see if he "lights" up for anything specific.

    Or you try some things that you think about and see if ou can get him talking.
  • Oct 12, 2008, 01:33 PM
    liz28

    Yes, you have to explore and he might feel uncomfortable telling you his fantasies.

    I know some of my fiancé and we both act them out. On his birthday I brought a portable strip pole and took lessons from my friend and brought the outfit and shoes and gave him a show that he loved.

    He never asked me to do it but I just tried it out. So just try new things.
  • Oct 12, 2008, 01:56 PM
    Choux

    I think it would be a good idea for you to think about adding some depth to your relationship instead of prying into his sex fantasies... that can really backfire, girl! **Just ask me**

    Men love the sexy unpredictable, independent-minded woman, not needy clinging vines who are very predictable. If that description fits you, wean yourself off your addiction to your man and strengthen your sense of self.

    Good Luck Lady, :)
  • Oct 12, 2008, 02:04 PM
    missingpieces

    First, I love that the christianity expert is telling me to go look at sex toys :)

    Second, OK Choux, I'm asking! How did it backfire on you?
  • Oct 12, 2008, 02:54 PM
    Choux

    Eventually, I got back some male homosexual stuff... I didn't need that! :)
  • Oct 12, 2008, 09:20 PM
    missingpieces

    Ouch, sorry to hear about that. Boys are interesting aren't they?
  • Oct 13, 2008, 04:22 AM
    hannah_nicole
    I think men can be a lot more simple than us when it comes to this - his fantasy of you in the bra and thong seems to have just come to him on the spot whereas ours seem to go deep and are well thought out and complex once they surface. People don't need fantasies to thrive on anyway - there must be a point where we can just enjoy the sex when all the fantasies have come and gone. Personally I enjoy the fantasy as a fantasy and nothing more, and my man says he's done all he has wanted to.

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