Okay I am new to this. But I think I have a real problem.
All my life I've had extreme low self-esteem. I mean I would avoid mirrors at all times and avoid the opposite sex. I would look at other girls in my age group and want to look just like them. I'm very busty but have a small lower half which makes me feel like a freak.
Fast forward to the present. I am now 25 years old with a boyfriend. I sometimes become very depressed and cry to him telling him that I hate everything about myself. My body, my skin, my hair the way I dress everything. Recently I've come to understand two things about myself. I am bi-sexual and I was diagnosed with PCOS which after reading about it online can contribute to me hating my appearance. But lately I've been so depressed about my appearance. Everyone around me thinks I'm this exotic hot looking woman and I can't see it. Not to mention the people who are telling me this are people that I know so of course they are going to tell me this. But I just don't see it. I used to get a lot of attention but now it's like no one even notices me when I go out and that goes for both sexs. I try to attract females but it seems like they don't even see me and the same goes for guys. The other night I went out with my friends and they were getting attention left and right while I stayed in the corner like an ugly duckling. I don't know what's wrong with me. This makes me very depressed because even when I try and change like losing weight, wearing different clothes or hairstyles or make-up I still don't get attention or feel pretty. Is there something wrong with me? Sometimes when I explain this to my friend he tells me that I am to hard on myself and I'm gorgeous. Maybe I'm whining but I just want to love myslef and feel pretty and get attention. :confused:

If you have a boyfriend you shouldn't be looking for attention form another person in that way!

I bet you weren't getting any attention when you were out because of your body language.

With self confidence you need to fake it until you make it.

However form you post it sound like you might be depressed so you should go see your doctor and maybe try a little professional counselling where you can work out why you feel the way you do. I bet some Cognitive Behavioural therapy would be especially useful to help you notice and deal with your negative thoughts as well as giving you methods to alter them.

You are a beautiful person no matter what you look like, you just need to realise this yourself!

Yes, the way you present yourself is a big part of everything, you have to love and be happy with yourself before you can find others that want to be with you.

If you are flirting feeling like a ugly person flirting then that is the signal you send.

You have to be happy with yourself first before you can be in any good relationship.

And of course with a boyfriend you should not be out looking for dates anyway.

As we grow older, we have to have a great personality in order to attract people to us AND keep people interested and caring. Part of a great personality is seeking out people to have relationships with as friends and perhaps lovers.

There are too many women who rely on looks alone to get through life... think of celebrities... they are drug addicts and never seem to grow up. Always begging for attention any old way.

Get some help with a professional so you can bring out all the positive aspects of your personality and grow up happily! :)

Very best wishes,

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Originally Posted by CuteKami782

Okay I am new to this. But I think I have a real problem.
All my life I've had extreme low self-esteem. I mean I would avoid mirrors at all times and avoid the opposite sex. I would look at other girls in my age group and want to look just like them. I'm very busty but have a small lower half which makes me feel like a freak.
Fast forward to the present. I am now 25 years old with a boyfriend. I sometimes become very depressed and cry to him telling him that I hate everything about myself. My body, my skin, my hair the way I dress everything. Recently I've come to understand two things about myself. I am bi-sexual and I was diagnosed with PCOS which after reading about it online can contribute to me hating my appearance. But lately I've been so depressed about my appearance. Everyone around me thinks I'm this exotic hot looking woman and I can't see it. Not to mention the people who are telling me this are people that I know so of course they are going to tell me this. But I just don't see it. I used to get a lot of attention but now it's like no one even notices me when I go out and that goes for both sexs. I try to attract females but it seems like they don't even see me and the same goes for guys. The other night I went out with my friends and they were getting attention left and right while I stayed in the corner like an ugly duckling. I don't know what's wrong with me. This makes me very depressed because even when I try and change like loosing weight, wearing different clothes or hairstyles or make-up I still don't get attention or feel pretty. Is there something wrong with me? Sometimes when I explain this to my friend he tells me that I am to hard on myself and I'm gorgeous. Maybe I'm whining but I just want to love myself and feel pretty and get attention. :confused:

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Thanks for the response. And I'm not looking for dates or anything but I would like to be notice when I go out instead of feeling like gum on the bottom of someone's shoes. I have a boyfriend but I still want to feel pretty. And as far as seeking help I'd love to but I don't know where to start and I just don't have the money to turn in that direction.

I'm sure you are pretty, but you aren't seeing yourself properly. Personality and attitude make a big difference. Your down mood may be chasing people away. I think you are in a slump.

As far as getting some help adjusting your attitudes, check to see if there is a clinic in your area or call your physician for a referral.

Best wishes, :)

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Originally Posted by Choux

I'm sure you are pretty, but you aren't seeing yourself properly. Personality and attitude make a big difference. Your down mood may be chasing people away. I think you are in a slump.

As far as getting some help adjusting your attitudes, check to see if there is a clinic in your area or call your physician for a referral.

Best wishes, :)

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Are there any free or low-payment places?

There usually are depending on where you live. They charge on a sliding scale based on your income.

Best to get back on the right path as soon as you can and get out of your slump. To get out of it you have to find out what in depth is causing it. :)

I think there is NOTHING wrong with your looks or your beauty but you have a huge attitude problem-you are a n attention-seeker I think that maybe others have picked up on it and are staying away from you because of this. Attention seekers are NEVER happy with themselves or their lot in life, and are draining on everyone else for emotional connections etc.

Be a friend first drop the "I don't think I'm whatever/pity party", move on build yourself esteem with being a good reliable friend/girlfriend.

Maybe read some Dr. Phil books, may I suggest "life matters"-that's a good one.

Forget the psychologist counselling, you could be wasting your tie if you don't look at yourself with love and build your confidence (a confident girl far outweighs a sexy/pretty one-as far as getting attention goes).

Cheers