I've been with my husband for 12 years and married 8. The last 3 years have been very difficult he is drinking every day and has become abusive and violent , he has taken overdoses smashed our home up and accusses me of sleeping with every male friend I have . He used to be such a placid man now I don't no if we should split up or work it through

You two can't work it through until he quits drinking, in other words, you both seek counselling to help him quit.

If he has been physcially abusive to you, that was the day you needed to have walked out.

If he is smashing things up in the home, get out. It is possible that after you get out, he can get counseling but you need to protect yourself above all else.