My fiancé and I both previously married. We are well past being "kids" that need things, and have enough stuff for several households.

I feel that the invitations to our very informal wedding should indicate that presents are not necessary. My beloved, however, feels that there should be no mention of this on the invite.

What's the "proper" thing to do?

Don't mention it. Even if you mention it, some will bring presents anyway... making the ones who did not bring them feel uncomfortable.

... just my opinion.

Here is another point of view from someone who is like Miss Manners if Miss Manners were an aging hippy, okay?

I have seen very casual invitations with wording that was something like this:
"Your presence at our happy occasion is all the gift we would ever want"

Also it can be something mentioned in a phone call but not printed anywhere.

For our wedding (second marriage later in life for both of us) in lieu of gifts, we asked each person to help us create the day. Very unusual, I know, but we were adamant that it not be materialistic since we were already so fortunate and our unusual and talented friends understood too. A "potluck" wedding, unheard of I know! But it was surprisingly and strangely loving to be married in clothes made by one friend, ceremony presided over by another, food made and served by another, etc.

Just a thought and by the way, Congrats!

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Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

Here is another point of view from someone who is like Miss Manners if Miss Manners were an aging hippy, okay?

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:D Right on!

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Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

I have seen very casual invitations with wording that was something like this:
"Your presence at our happy occasion is all the gift we would ever want"

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Just remember if you do this not to confuse "Presents" with "presence"! I have seen this happen:eek:

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For our wedding (second marriage later in life for both of us) in lieu of gifts, we asked each person to help us create the day. Very unusual, I know, but we were adamant that it not be materialistic since we were already so fortunate and our unusual and talented friends understood too. A "potluck" wedding, unheard of I know! But it was surprisingly and strangely loving to be married in clothes made by one friend, ceremony presided over by another, food made and served by another, etc.

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Too cool.:)

:rolleyes: got to spread it sorry Val