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-   -   Physical Attraction (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=267853)

  • Oct 10, 2008, 06:18 AM
    breathless1
    Physical Attraction
    Do you (married people) think you could marry someone you are physically not attracted to at all.

    Thank you
  • Oct 10, 2008, 06:23 AM
    StaticFX

    Personally, no.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 06:33 AM
    liz28

    I think so. Beauty fades.I've gone out with guys that other people found unattractive but beauty is in the eye of the beholer. However, if the person can't get past the way they look then they shouldn't marry let alone be with that person.

    Marriage is hard work. When you marry someone you should already have a solid relationship so if you can't go beyond their looks, don't marry them.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 10:05 AM
    StaticFX

    I think a lot of being attracted to someone is chemistry.. the person doesn't have to be good looking to have it. You just "feel" the attraction.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 12:37 PM
    talaniman

    Absolutely NOT!!
  • Oct 10, 2008, 12:45 PM
    JBeaucaire

    While dating, probably not.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 01:04 PM
    ZoeMarie

    To answer your question, no, but I've been in a situation where I was not attracted to the guy at the beginning but I agreed to go out on a date with him and we actually hit it off. Beauty is only skin deep. I've never been with anyone because of how they looked- it's always been personality to me and to me it was like his looks grew on me... if that makes any sense at all
  • Oct 10, 2008, 01:09 PM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

    When I first started daing my boyfriend of 2.5 years, I wasn't at all attracted to how he looked. Now, I think he is the most gorgeous person that walks this planet. Why? Because I grew to love the person inside which then made his looks 1 million times better.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 01:20 PM
    starbuck8

    I would just like to say that attraction is relative. You can be a very attractive person on the outside, but if you are ugly on the inside, the ugly seeps out!

    The same the other way around. A person may not be attractive to you on the outside, but if the inside is beautiful and attractive, it shines right through!

    The "skin deep" theory really is true!
  • Oct 10, 2008, 01:23 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    Do you (married people) think you could marry someone you are physically not attracted to at all.

    If after dating and getting to know each other your not physically attracted to them, what the heck would you be considering marrying them for??
  • Oct 10, 2008, 01:32 PM
    starbuck8

    Don't you think that you could be emotionally attracted though Tal? Does the outside appearance always mean so much?
  • Oct 10, 2008, 01:40 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Does the outside appearance always mean so much?
    Physical attraction, has nothing to do with looks, in my view.

    Of course you can be emotionally attracted, but building a marriage, just takes the whole package, for me.

    Emotional attractions sound like friends, and that's cool to, but a life commitment??

    It comes down to personal preference. What works for you.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 02:12 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by breathless1 View Post
    Do you (married people) think you could marry someone you are physically not attracted to at all.

    Thank you



    Marry, no? Date, yes. All sorts of things play into physical attraction but, no, I absolutely could not marry (which would involve sharing a bed) a man I had no attraction to.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 02:12 PM
    starbuck8

    I guess it does come down to personal preference, but I was just thinking. Say you husband, wife, partner, was physically attractive to you, and then was somehow disfigured in some way. Would that lessen the attraction and end the relationship? Just curious what people think of that? I know it's hard to imagine if you have never been in that situation, but interesting to hear what people "think" they might do.

    ... Oh Tal, what I guess I meant by saying an emotional attraction, I meant an inner attraction. I can't think of the words right now to describe what I mean, but I think you'll get what it is that I'm trying to communicate.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 02:15 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    I guess it does come down to personal preference, but I was just thinking. Say you husband, wife, partner, was physically attractive to you, and then was somehow disfigured in some way. Would that lessen the attraction and end the relationship? Just curious what people think of that? I know it's hard to imagine if you have never been in that situation, but interesting to hear what people "think" they might do.


    I think that physical appearance and physical attraction are two different things.

    I've dated men who were drop dead gorgeous but I was not physically attracted to them.

    I've also dated men who were so-so physically attractive but the chemistry was definitely there.

    I don't think the two are related.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 02:30 PM
    starbuck8

    That's true Judy. I guess I thought we were talking more about outer appearance. The first thing that came to mind when I thought of "physical attraction" was the hot girl with the great legs, or the smokin guy with the great abs. But if we are talking about physical attraction, in the sense of connection between two people, then I agree that there would be no reason to marry that person. But of course you see all of the time where young hottie marry the old geezers, but that is usually a money issue! ;)
  • Oct 10, 2008, 02:57 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    That's true Judy. I guess I thought we were talking more about outer appearance. The first thing that came to mind when I thought of "physical attraction" was the hot girl with the great legs, or the smokin guy with the great abs. But if we are talking about physical attraction, in the sense of connection between two people, then I agree that there would be no reason to marry that person. But of course you see all of the time where young hottie marry the old geezers, but that is usually a money issue!! ;)



    Well, I know short men are a lot taller when they're standing on their wallets.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 10:26 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    And then was somehow disfigured in some way. Would that lessen the attraction and end the relationship?
    Just me, NO!! I rather like what I have and the best way to explain it is , it's a physically, spiritual connection. We are both old enough to appreciate it.
  • Oct 11, 2008, 05:04 PM
    hollylovesbrandon

    I don't see how you could marry someone that you just aren't attracted to. The first time I met my husband I thought "OMG, that man is beautiful!" Then the first time I spoke to him I thought "OMG, this man is brilliant and intellectual" Then the first time I hung out with him I though "OMG, he is so funny" then the first time I kissed him I thought "OMG, amazing" then the first time we had sex I though "OMG". If you can't have that total package... that OMG moment to everything that is amazing about that other person... then why get married?

    Without one, what's the other?
  • Oct 11, 2008, 05:47 PM
    starbuck8

    OMG... I so like know what you mean! Like OMG... like I wouldn't know what to do if I like didn't have the entire package! Like OMG... I like wouldn't accept anything less... like OMG... I don't care if I pass up someone who may have a few flaws... like OMG, why would anyone want to pay any attention to someone like that?. like OMG that's just crazy!

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