Ask Me Help Desk - Son's father moved out now but wants to regulate

I have been living with my child's father for 7 years with a break in between for 1.5 years... when I moved out with our child 1. years ago we had child support and custody in place and when we moved back in together we kept the custody arrangements and support order until he lost his job last year... I kept the custody order but cancelled the support order since we had worked things out, all of this done was done in Maryland... we live in Dc now... recently he moved out and refuses to comply with the visitation that he requested way back ( he keeps him every weekend) now he wants to come by when he feels like it and refuses to pay child suport again... the apartment we live in is in his name but we moved in here together and I paid the down payment but it would have been more expensive to have both our names on the lease each month for rent, he has told me that if I plan to stay at this apartment with our child that I have to go by his rules... and no support, or I must move out with my son... (his name is on the lease also) I don't have a lot of money since I have pay all the bills and rent here and expenses for our son, can he put us out if he moved out? And could I be still eligible for support in dc and lie in this apartment? Or would I have to pick?I just don't want to uproot our son and make him uncomfortable, he has threatened to take him away form me but I try not to believe him because I have sole physical custody... and we both have joint legal custody from Maryland... what are my options??

How is your son's name on the lease? That in itself is hard to swallow because he is a minor. If you name is not on the lease and the two of you aren't married then yes you can be evicted quite easily. If the support order was dropped then no he does not have to pay support you will have to go back to court to get it. He is allowed to go to his apartment when ever he wants... it is his. If you want to enforce the visitation of him only having him on the weekends then you will have to move out of his house because you aren't married so obviouslly you can't get the house in a separation agreement.

I assume your son's name is listed as an occupant and not a party to the lease, since, as a minor, he can't be a party to a legal contract.

Since he's the only leaseholder, he could force you out. But that doesn't mean he can change any court ordered custody/visitation/support. On the other hand, he can visit his apartment when he wishes. I suggest you start looking for a new place to live.

Well I understand that I may have to move... I just don't understand why he even moved out in the first place... I mean if he wanted me to leave I would have left... he just began working recently but I have picked up all the bills and etc since the time he wasn't working... I just feel like he wants his cake and eat it too I just want my son to be comfortable... I never asked him to leave that was what he chose to do... so I felt that he abandoned the place and left it up to me to continue hoping that I would fail.. now he sees that I am still doing the same thing when he was living here that in a way it makes him mad... Thanks for your help on this!

When does the lease expire? If you are on a month to month lease you might talk to the landlord and ask him to terminate the current lease with proper notice, then write a new lease in your name.

You file in DC for custody and visitation, and a new child support order,

But what or when does he want to see his son, have you threatened not to let him see the child ?

IS he paying support now, if not why ?

That's the thing... our original visitation order from MD states that he sees him every weekend... overnight until Monday am and drops him off at school... he asked to do that... the judge told him that he did not have to... but he said he wanted to see our child every weekend... when we moved back in together an reconciled and then he moved out he said he changed his mind and will come get him when he feels like it... I don't keep our child from him and every time he comes I let our son go, I do this because there is usually a few weeks when he doesn't come around or just stops by Saturday am to say hi to him and stays for 10-15 minutes and leaves

He is not paying support now because we moved back in together and he lost his job... I thought everything was good between us and when we lived together he did his part of being a dad... I didn't want the order to stop him from getting a job and getting his driver's license so I cut it off... but a year later he moved out and decided since I still live here with our child that should be enough and that he should not have to add money since he chose to move out and live with his mother he said I should either deal with it or if I want support I should move out with our son and find a place... or live here with no support

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

When does the lease expire? If you are on a month to month lease you might talk to the landlord and ask him to terminate the current lease with proper notice, then write a new lease in your name.

It's a co-op and it goes by your income, my son's name is on the lease as a dependent... I'm trying to get in touch with the landlord so that I can get him to sign over the lease... but I doubt he will... I put in my own application for this complex too but the wait list is about a year... I am just frustrated that how can he say our child is a dependent but doesn't want to help support him and is only using him on his lease to get cheaper rent.