My boyfriend and I just got engaged. He wanted me to move in to his house a long time ago and after we got engaged I have decided to move in to his house. We both agree to split on the expenses, like utilities, cable, groceries, etc. However, when he asked about me to pay rent and share 50% of his mortgage payments, I was a little worried and started thinking. Before I moved in I know I will be paying him some money to help him pay out his mortgage but I was not expecting that he will ask me 50%. I was thinking, the 50% is way above the rent I pay in my previous apartment, and his house is way farther from where I work. So it appears by moving in I am going to incur additional costs. On the other hand, he has been living on his house for years and has paid his mortgage (under his name) alone as he does not want a co-tenant. I was thinking he will be in a better position in terms of cash flow by me moving in and paying him rent. I thought the most that I could pay is the same amount I pay before in my previous apartment. Or if it is reasonable, a little amount lower so I am not burdened with the additional costs of driving longer on top of my regular commute before. I was thinking, if I pay $675 to my landlord before, paying him $600 will be reasonable enough. In that way, we both somehow benefitted from our decision. Am I fair if I do that? Is the amount I thought of reasonable enough? Or should I be paying 50% of his mortgage payment, taxes and insurance, like he proposed? I would greatly appreciate your opinion.

I think it would be fair for you to negotiate the price to something lower than half of the payment since he would solely benefit from the sale of the house. He owns it and if he sold it, he would keep the profit. So I agree with you that you shouldn't be paying as much as him since you won't be getting anything back if he was to sell it.

What is reasonable is what you can both agree on.

However, I think you should end the relationship now. If you are already disagreeing on finances, I don't see much of a future for you.

I don't see his request that you split expenses down the middle to be unreasonable. Generally couples just pool their money and pay expenses from that pool. That's what my wife and I have done for 34 years. We each take an allowance for our personal expenses, but everything else goes into our joint account and bills are paid from that.

You also need to make sure you are protected in reference to ownership of the house. You don't want to contribute to the upkeep of the home to find you have no interest in it.

ScottGem - I just want to point out that there was no disagreement per say as far as what she's stated. She thought one thing and he thought another but I didn't get the sense that they discussed it and dissagreed about it.

Which brings up a good point though; how will the two of them communicate regarding a difference of opinion on something that relates to their new living arrangements. That's a good test of their ability to communicate well with each other and come to a compromise that both can live with.

Keropi, are you taking notes? ;) How you bring this up with him and how you two communicate about this is just as important as the result (if not more).

Negotiate, and put it in writing. Unless your married, then you work together to come to terms, BEFORE you move in.

One of the leading reasons for divorce, is differences over finances. I imagine it's the same with living together.

If you feel you can't afford it then you seriously need to voice your concerns with him. Am I getting this right that he also wants you split the insurance and taxes of the house too?

If you can't resolve this, don't move in, nor get married.

Money issues as Scott mentioned is the number one reasons couples break up. This is but one start of what will be many money choices.

What is the income, do you make equal money, does he make more money.

A equal based system for a couple ( not talking about a renter) but a couple, you base it on a percentage of the income.

If you make equal pay, then you split money on all bills equally. If pay not equal you adjust all bills by that percentage difference

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Money issues as Scott mentioned is the number one reasons couples break up. This is but one start of what will be many money choices.

What is the income, do you make equal money, does he make more money.

A equal based system for a couple ( not talking about a renter) but a couple, you base it on a percentage of the income.

If you make equal pay, then you split money on all bills equally. if pay not equal you adjust all bills by that percentage difference

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Absolutely - I have a lot of friends, two professionals, who do just this - by percentage. Each has an account, one joint account also.

Of course, you have to come to an agreement and hash out the details first.

I would also add - these "you own the property but we both pay on the mortage" situations can get really dicey. If one dies, the other has no protection, no rights, no legal entitlement to the property. Same if they break up.