I am a step mother of a 13 year old girl, for the last 10 years I have been the only mother that she really knows. Her birth mother is in and out of her life. The last time that they talked was back in December ( x-mas, it's now October) and our daughters b-day was in June, not a phone call just a b-day card. Today we went to the court house to meet with a mediator about the birth parent not paying child support, which is a measly 175 a month. She has not paid my husband child support since May 2008, so her D.L. was suspended. The reason for today was that she was contesting the suspended D.L.. So I guess my question is how can they reinstate her D.L. when she still has not made a payment, or gotten medical coverage (which she has never provided- child support she does pay now and then) like the judge told her to? If you don't do what a judge tells you to do, isn't that considered contempt of court? And does anyone know if me being the step parent, raising the child for the last 10 almost 11 years, the birth mother never seeing the child or helping to support the child ( financially or mentally), can we take her rights away or does she have to agree to it? Thanks

First, you can't take her rights away. However, she may be willing to give them up since that will relieve her of having to pay support.

Second, a court may reinstate the DL if she proves she needs it to earn a living. How can she pay support if she can't earn a living?

However, as of now you have no legal standing. If you appear in court its only as support for your husband.

I would offer to drop the child support if she will agree to relinquish rights so you can adopt her.

As of now you are the step parent and that is it which means no legal standing period. Your husband can ask the mother if she would be willing to allow you to adopt and he can also point out that she would no longer owe support. You would then be the legal mother. However, if her mother chooses not to allow the adoption then you will remain the step parent and she will continue to owe support. No one can force her to visit that is her choice she just has to pay the support that was ordered.

Thank you for your answers. As for the can't earn a living with out a DL, that was exactly how I looked at it (even more because she has a daughter by another man, I have 4 children and know I would be up the creek with out a paddle if I didn't have a DL) till I was advised by someone whom worked at the court house that said if her DL did get suspended she would be able to get something where she would be able to go back and forth to work, doctors, store , etc.. That was till she started to make regular payments or turned in papers to have it taken directly out of her pay check.