I have just had a second baby in the last 2 months and I was fully expecting my 2.5 year old girl to play up a bit but she is proving very difficult. Before he arrived she was very good but now I am finding it hard to deal with her. I know she is feeling a bit jealous and insecure but I am trying to spend lots of time and give her lots of cuddles but she just won't do as she is told any more.

When she is naughty I try reasoning, shouting (I know you are not meant to!), then putting her out the room to naughty area but she laughs and treats as a game which makes me even more cross and frustrated. I can't use naughty step as our stairs are too high and she may get hurt, I do not believe in smacking and shouting doesn't help. Even rewards and removal of privelidges which did work doesn't any more. Can anyone give me some advice on how to discipline her - I am finding spending time with her hard at the moment and its not fun but we used to have such a great time.

Pleases don't tell me I need to spend quality time with her as I am trying and I know it takes time I just need advice on disciplining her.

Thanks.

A naughty spot can be anyware just pick a spot. She is jealous of the baby and looking for attention.

Have you talked to her about being a big sister? Does she interact with the baby?

Oh yes. She was well prepared for the arrival - books, stories, scan pictures, chats about being a big sister.

We tell her all the time that he loves her and that she is a great big sister. I try and involve her as much as possible although she has a cold at the moment and I am trying to keep contact at its minimal as she is quite snotty and chesty. But I guess she is just jealous and that's understandable. She often hits and kicks him - not viloently just wee jabs. All this is normal I suppose?

Try making her a part of things and maybe for awhile ignore the bad things and really praise the good.

Can you go get me a diaper. Do you want to help? What a great big sister you are... ect.

And if she tantrums or refuses what you know she can do... tell her Oh I thought you were a big girl, then just do it.

THe positive will win and it will all work itself out.

No harm to you but I think you may be over compensating. Trying so hard not to make her feel left out that even these changes are making here aware that things are different. I wonder if remembering how you treated her before the baby came, and going back to that, might help. Sounds like too many changes. Things will never be the same again with a new baby in the house but you could try to keep as much of the old routine and familiar time spent with your daughter before the baby came. You might also try letting someone else look after the baby while you and your daughter have a 'nice day out together'.