I have recently like today... split up from my girlfriend of 3 and a half years. I am 18, I felt like crap, I know people say stuff like that's a bit too long for a young lad to have a relationship (which it is) but when things were as good as the last 3 years as they have been with me then you would never want to lose this 'perfect girl' sadly I have. I felt like crap aswel so I wrote something off the top of my head to try and make me feel better and surprisingly it has worked.
I Just want to know if any of you guys and girls can relate to what I'm saying and how I'm feeling at the moment, times are hard but they can only get better.
This is a really rough version I wrote in about 10 minutes so it hasn't been edited and paragraphed properly, I have ** the swear words but I feel necessary to leave them in because it portrays what I'm feeling at the moment. Hope you guys can relate and enjoy it like I did writing it.
You have no idea what or how I am feeling, this feeling is like your being sick, but nothings coming up leaving your stomach completely empty…. Like the walls in your torso are closing in and the pressure is building. You feel like your going to f****g explode. Its not because your truly love this person… otherwise surely you would be happy for them, knowing that they are moving on to better things… no, you are being self pitying, but you have to be, because you sub consciously drop your esteem to just above 0. You just can't understand what you have done wrong, you probably have or you wouldn’t be in this situation so please learn be your mistakes. You believe you are nothing anymore. Nothing to no one, surely the person that supposedly loves me the most could see through anything and support me but not this time, this time you are down in the dumps and yes you have to deal with it…. The pain seems like it isn’t ever going to disappear. but that its because you use every second of what now seems like your pointless life dwelling on how much she meant to you. Your never going to get over this pain… this is where you have to realise that you are sadly wrong. You can embrace love again, the feeling of shared passion with another (yes another) loved one, it will feel amazing, your esteem will once again rise, but the important lesson to be learnt by the past is not to make the same mistake, you have treat this girl better, you can't f*** up again otherwise you will be sitting in the same shoes a year later. You have to learn by your mistakes and direct yourself otherwise you will be a miserable t**t the rest of your life. You live to learn not learn to live.
Back to the point of the feeling like you have been run over by a bus, you have not, your alive, you will eventually smile and look back at the things that possibly annoyed you about this ex girlfriend… you will have a giggle with yourself about something so ridiculous you look back 10 seconds later and feel a complete pr**k. This feeling is like no other though, it is true love, the pain in your heart doesn’t seem to ever die away, but guaranteed it will, you will love, be happy, courageous and try new things again. And it will be just as good if not better than the first one. It is also guaranteed that you will do the most ridiculous and desperate things thought of to try and win this girl back… we all do but later on in life we look back and think to ourselves, what a p***k I was, and when your thinking about this you will also thank god that you have split up, because now you are able to do something truly awesome, you really were able to have the best life you could have. You believe that you don’t deserve this but lets be honest we all have treated people like s*** in our life so let us learn that it is not nice to be trodden on and broken in half, instead embrace each other and truly love.
Without these ups and downs life isn’t life, we all need to experience these times but be sure to support someone when it is happening, because they truly feel s**t, if we are able to embrace our pain successfully then we can do anything and we can get through everything. You don’t have to do it perfect the first time, that is what life is about, making sure you are able to do it right in the future. Without people learning no one would be anywhere, we would all get bOllocked and everywhere would be war upon war. Thank the heavens that we humans aren’t perfect because then we wouldn’t truly be able to appreciate the good things in life. With everything bad that happens and rest assured there will be plenty comes a good new experience round the corner, its these moments in life that when we are down we can think to ourselves ‘s*** what will the next thing be’
This experience has been hardest to deal with in my life, but my god I know there’s going to be worse, but then I know that the good feelings and vibes I get will come plenty of times and this is what keeps sad b***ards like ourselves going through life.