I met this girl over the internet I've never met her but I love her more than anything and I can't really explain why/
I know your prob thinking move on but I can't I am stuck, she's stolen my heart and I'm sure she loves me back
I live in england and she lives in america and we will prob never meet. I sit around all day thinking about her and everything and anything reminds me of her
I stay up till like 3 in the morning talking to her sometimes.
I am 15 and she's 14, she's 3 mounths younger than me.
I love taking to her but I can't go doing this, it hurts too much that I can't hold her...
She's slowly killing me and each day that goes my I miss her more
I'm going through stages of happyness when I'm talking to her but then really bad depression
I cut her name into my left arm, yesterday becausse I was feeling depressed and was missing her badly.
I can't forget about her, I've tired
I really need her...

I certainly hope you don't permanently convince yourself what you're feeling for this girl is "love". If you manage to permanently ingrain this into your head, you'll never have a healthy relationship.

Being obsessed over something... we all get that. We ALL do. Don't let anyone try to tell you different.

But that's not love, it's just obsession. The fact that your obsession speaks english to you is coincidental. You could just as easily have ended up obsessed with video games, or skateboards... this girl has become an obsession for you.

So, as an obsession, enjoy it for what it is. This girl talks to you and makes you NOT feel stupid. That's important. You should be OK having these conversations and feeling good about them. You really should.

But that's all. You also have to live in the real world. You two are continents apart and you're not keeping that straight in your head. If you don't, cutting yourself is just the first of many stupid things you will do to screw up a perfectly fine life over something that isn't even there.

STOP ROMANTICIZING this girl. Let her be your absolutely best friend in the world. Let her! But you have to "date" in the real world. Real girls you can actually touch and hold hands and kiss and get frustrated over and break up with and go out with someone else... all of this needs to happen face to face.

So, chill, my friend. Enjoy your computerized pen pal. ENJOY it fully. Then go out with a real girl. You don't have to "love" the real girls to go on some fun dates. Just go.

How do you know I'm obsessed and not in love
Your just guessing
And more importantly how do I know when I'm in love ?
What do you want me to do not love her?

I know it because of your story. I am not guessing, I don't need to. You've made it clear for us and you asked, so we're telling you.

Look, there are a LOT of kinds of love in the world. You will have to learn to slot them all into your life properly.

You sound like you're trying to give a face on a computer screen who makes you feel good (brotherly love) the slot in your life that should be reserved for physical interaction (romantic love).

Wait, don't tell me... I know, it's not that simple. Except that it is.

"How do I know when I am in love?" That question scares me. Love is something that comes on it own, out of your control. It is something you feel. But it is just the start. You have to LIVE a love-relationship in the real world and use your head to judge it.

You are NOT a good match to every person you will ever love. Period. This is a universal truth, true for all of us. You will love people and most of them won't be good matches. That's why you have a noggin'. You can see this truth if you actually take off the romance goggles and look.

Successful love is something you give to someone by sacrificing for them daily in loving and selfless ways. How can you do that for an image on a computer screen? You can't. All you can do is dream and fantasize and bat your eyelashes.

That's obsessive behavior. This girl is in a perfect position to be a confidant for you, and you should love her to death in that regard. Love away. But romantically this is going nowhere. Look at your arm to see what I mean.

OK
So how do I stop being obsessed about her?
I have tried flirting with other girls but it just feels wrong some how
I can't really step back from the situation
What's done is done, and I accept that

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TRAINFAIR

whats done is done, and i accept that

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What does this refer to?

I should have never told her I loved her...

I have a friend who is very similar to you, she is very self conscious and insecure, so she speaks to guy son the internet all the time and "falls in love". All of us girls tried to help her and reassure her but it only made her mad at us. Finally like JB has done here, we told her that she is too obsessed. She listended when we said that. Now, 2 years later she has had her first kid and is engaged. I'm not saying that this will happen to you exactly, however, get out there and be willing to fall in love and get hurt. It's part of life, and you just have to deal with it as it comes. Plus, you're still 15... you have so much time to meet many, many girls who you're going to fall in love with and fall out of love with.
"It's better to love and get hurt, then to have never loved at all."

Telling her you love her is harmless, if you let it be. She knows she's 8000 miles away from you.

Both of you just have to be pragmatic and accept what is true. Feelings are true, too, but they aren't enough. You'll figure this stuff out.

Love her. Talk to her. Laugh with her. Just don't turn off the live-options in your life in the meantime. Stay open to the real world, too. And when real-life starts to happen, don't suspect it or compare it to your romantic notions of your computer-girl.

Loving her and being able to do nothing about it will be painful, but that's OK, too. The pain is part of life and you learn through it.

Yeah
Your right
Thaxs

At 15 by the time you are 19 you will tell a dozen girls you "love" them, since you are finding out what love is. This is what happens at 15 and often your first "love"
But getting depressed to the point of "cutting" someone's name in your arm, is not healthly, I would talk to a parent or a adult couselor to get help