My girlfriend is much much more experienced than I am, I'm 17 and I can't seem to get an erection, or if I do hold it, I'm a teenager and I know this is not a doctor necessary problem because its never been before. I think I might be psyching myself out, but when were doing stuff I'm either nervous or just kind of detached so I'm not feeling anything. Someone please help,
Thanks.
Frustrated individual

Are you able to get and sustain an erecting while masturbating?

I am not an expert on this by any means, but if you are able to normally on your own, than psychological reasons don't seem far off.

It sounds like you are thinking about it too much. The whole idea of having sex is letting go completely- you can't worry too much or it will kill your mood in an instant. I agree with NorthernNiceGuy as well, if you are having problems by yourself then you should see a doctor.

I have no problem masturbating

I remember my first few times in high school... Sort of had the exact opposite problem of you... I would go way to fast... and I know premature ejaculation is common but this was more relatable to warp speed or something LOL. But after I learned to relax and look at sex as a fun and exciting activity with someone you care about my problem totally disappeared...

Now I am not an expert on this... But maybe taking it slow with this partner, plenty of fore play to get the excitement and lust levels way up! Couldn't hurt but to try... But if problems persit maybe seeing a doctor for a referral to a therapist is an idea... But then with that comes the old "Why does billy need to see a therapist" and your parents will probably fish the problem out of you... But all that's up to you.

Your are nervous it is totally natural and I'm sure she understands the more you do it the more better you will feel there is nothing wrong the same thing happened to me my first time. Talk to you girl try and do a little bit of 4 play to get her happy then a bit of sex if you lose it switch back to 4 play just keep on doing this and you will find in a few days you will be much better. Good luck

It sounds like this problem is all in your head (the one on your shoulders ;)).

Obviously you have been worrying about this and that's making the problem even worse. So, stop worrying.

Now, seeing as you are only 17 I am going to say, don't be in such a rush to have sex.

Also, knowing that I can't stop you, I will say, please make sure you use protection. Safest bet, the birth control pill for her and condoms.

Realize that no form of birth control is 100% effective, so every time you have sex, even with the pill and a condom, a child could be the result.

If you are okay with this, prepared for this, financially and emotionally ready for fatherhood, then you are ready to have sex.

Good luck. :)

I agree with Alt. Now my darling you have just made me nevous hehehe but really a very good point

Hi bbass41,

You've already gotten some great advice here from everyone. I think you should pay special attention to Altenweg's post about protection. :) (Sorry, don't mean to make you even more nervous!)

One thing I'd like to add here is an observation that I've made from your post. Your very first sentence was (quoting you): "My girlfriend is much much more experienced than I am." This says something to me. I feel part of what's going on here is self-esteem on your part or the lack thereof. I feel what's likely going on is that you subconsciously fear that maybe you're not able to please her or match up to what she's experienced in the past. The good news is that you're wrong! :) Reason being - your concern for wanting to please her is a very good thing. The only thing you need to focus on now is letting go of those thoughts and putting them into some good ol' action. Like others have said - spend plenty of time kissing, heavy petting, foreplay in general and get both of you so hot & bothered that the last thing you're thinking of is whether you can get or keep an erection. You're definitely over-thinking all of this. Let that guard of yours down, let those emotions flow freely and get totally lost in the moment. I think you'll find that your issue will be quickly resolved. Good luck and remember to be careful!

Don't try so hard. (No pun intended). Maybe your intimidated, or the obvious, your feelings are not there, but she is available.

Hey dude I'm actually posting because my girlfriend and I are breaking up and it's a horrible time for me right now. But I'll go back in the days when we first started dating. She was my first and I was her second. We started dating Oct 26th and around Nov 23rd was our first experience at trying to have sex.

That time and every time after that I was hard until it was time for the action to begin. I couldn't hold it at all. She thought I wasn't attracted to her and I felt horrible. I'd do everything else to her just to let her know how much I loved her.

On christmas night the magic happened. I wasn't planning on anything seeing as we were at my grandmas house and I didn't want to "ruin" anything in their house. But I woke up to her showing her effection and before I could even realise really what was going on, we went at it. Best xmas present ever.

With that said here is my advice. Don't stress about it at all, It happened to me and it all ended up great (at least till now, but that's not because of sex).

What you should do is this.. You guys should have your cuddle romanitc times where you "pleasure" each other but never actually ever get to it. Allow your mind and body to be confident in your "member" in front of your girlfriend. I could go way into detail, I just don't feel this is the right site for that kind of information.

If not take my girlfriend and my approach. Fall asleep, let her work her magic, you'll wake up craving sex and it will begin (and most likely end) before you even realise it. First time for me... about 30 seconds? Haha.