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-   -   I think I ACTUALLY like someone, and I can't deal. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=266134)

  • Oct 3, 2008, 10:01 PM
    barbiechick123
    I think I ACTUALLY like someone, and I can't deal.
    Hi, this isn't Barbiechick, its her friend on her account, anyway... I am veryconfused!

    So I haven't liked a boy since two years ago, I have had crushes, but nothing like LIKING, but today this kid I now LIKE started flirting with all my friends except me and it made me feel like crap, today I even burst into tears while on the phone with my friend.

    How should I handle this?
  • Oct 4, 2008, 12:15 AM
    starbuck8

    It sounds to me like you have some self esteem issues, and you are insecure with yourself. This wouldn't have hurt enough to make you cry if you weren't insecure. Don't take it personally, and work on liking yourself.

    It really does work if you love yourself first, and have self confidence. That is a VERY attractive quality in a girl, and it attracts the decent boys, who are less likely to hurt you. That is not to say that you won't get hurt... you WILL, sorry to say.

    You can be a "barbiegirl" (and I did read you said you were using your friends acct) but unless you have more than something than your outer shell, you are just going to attract those type of boys. What I mean is, the kind of boys that are only after the looks and not "the person" inside.

    Like I said, don't take it personally. You may have liked this boy, but maybe he was being a player with the rest of your friends, and count you lucky stars that he left you out. Maybe you were too good for him and he knew it! :)
  • Oct 4, 2008, 12:48 AM
    Yogic
    Hey!

    I think there are two ways to deal with the situation.

    If your feelings are not strong deal with it how starbuck has rightfully put it.

    Secondly, If you have got such feelings after two whole years then he mite be worth a try,
    And you know you are not in a relationship as yet so he has all the right to flirt, its like a mans passport ;).
    And boys like to play around specially flirting with others when you are around or observant, its done exactly for this reason, that you sit down and think about him, and he has your attention!

    My suggestion here is play the game with him, that way you get to know whether he's worth it or not, and in a few more meetings he' show you what's in store.
    He may be a fly by night operator, or may just be a smart playful rascal (not in bad way)
    Which means he knows what he wants, which is a good long term quality girls like in their
    Boys.

    If he continues to play the game for too long, you'l automatically lose interest in him, barbie's friend, and if he's like I said a smart rascal, then you guys will be fine.
    You never know how a cake tastes until you eat it ;)
  • Oct 4, 2008, 12:53 AM
    Alty

    He was flirting with everyone but you? Does that trick still work?

    Honey, he was trying to make you jealous, probably because he likes you but is too shy or insecure to approach you.

    If you like him then tell him. What's the worst that can happen, he says he doesn't feel the same way? Well, then at least you know, right? But, he could feel the same way that you do and that would be great. :)

    Someone has to make the first move, might as well be you, or you can sit and wait until he decides to. Personally, I say go for it, but that's just me. :)
  • Oct 4, 2008, 01:05 AM
    Clough

    Just an admonition from me here. It's really not a good idea for you to be using someone else's account here. It could really lead to confusion and problems! This sort of thing has happened previously on this site where it caused huge problems! Better to be joining the site yourself rather than doing that.

    Thank you!
  • Oct 4, 2008, 01:12 AM
    Alty

    Good call Clough, I didn't read that part.

    Barbie, please don't let other people use your account. Many times when we answer a question we check back to previous posts so that we can better answer your question. If other people are using your account then it gets confusing.

    It really is very simple to start an account here, and it's free. There's no reason why anyone should have to use someone else's account.
  • Oct 4, 2008, 01:19 AM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Just an admonition from me here. It's really not a good idea for you to be using someone elses account here. It could really lead to confusion and problems! This sort of thing has happened previously on this site where it caused huge problems! Better to be joining the site yourself rather than doing that.

    Thank you!

    So very true! It causes a lot of confusion here, and she is not likely to get the sound advice she may need because of that. Start your own acct dear!
  • Oct 4, 2008, 01:40 AM
    Clough
    Thanks! I was going to rep both of you Alty and starby, but since I couldn't do it for both of you, decided not to do it.

    Just to add to what's already been said here concerning using someone's account. The last time that I can remember this happening, was that the person who used someone else's account made a bunch of people very angry here by what they posted, and that the owner of the account ended up having to do a bunch of apologizing and also ended up leaving the site after basically getting yelled at by a number of other members for letting someone else use their account.

    Any of us who have been on this site for awhile show a certain personality and intelligence in the posts that we write here on any thread. We develop a history in the way that we post that is readily recognizable by others who know us here. For someone else to use an account and for others to think that it's the usual person posting - well, the negative results and impact can be far-reaching and devastating to the integrity of this site.

    I'm going to ask that this thread be closed because of what has happened here. Some people have already given of their free time to post some good answers, but it's not for barbiechick123, but for someone that we don't have a clue as to who you are.
  • Oct 4, 2008, 01:48 AM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Thanks! I was going to rep both of you Alty and starby, but since I couldn't do it for both of you, decided not to do it.

    Just to add to what's already been said here concerning using someones account. The last time that I can remember this happening, was that the person who used someone elses account mad a bunch of people very angry here by what they posted, and that the owner of the account ended up having to do a bunch of apologizing and also ended up leaving the site after basically getting yelled at by a number of other members for letting someone else use their account.

    Any of us who have been on this site for awhile show a certain personality and intelligence in the posts that we write here on any thread. We develop a history in the way that we post that is readily recognizable by others who know us here. For someone else to use an account and for others to think that it's the usual person posting - well, the negative results and impact can be far-reaching and devastating to the integrity of this site.

    I'm going to ask that this thread be closed because of what has happened here. Some people have already given of their free time to post some good answers, but it's not for barbiechick123, but for someone that we don't have a clue as to who you are.

    I second that, and as we do this in our free time, we sometimes feel like we are wasting our time because we no longer know who we are speaking with. We do this out of the goodness of our hearts, and as Clough has said in a manner of speaking, we don't want to waste our time when we could be helping someone else in a dire situation, that really needs the time that we have to give.

    You are very welcome to start your own account!
  • Oct 4, 2008, 02:03 AM
    Clough

    Thanks, starby! :)
  • Oct 4, 2008, 08:25 AM
    barbiechick123

    Oh, it's barbiechick123 now, Yeah I let my friend on my account for a night so my questions from now on are from me, but u can still reply to this thread. I will tell her to read it, and she has so far, she feels a lot better.
  • Oct 4, 2008, 08:34 AM
    starbuck8

    I'm glad she feels better. It just gets us confused if two people use the same account. Tell her she is always welcome to set up her own if she would like to. :)
  • Oct 4, 2008, 09:37 AM
    barbiechick123

    She would but her mom doesn't like her to contribute to any websites where personal information is required, but maybe she can ask her mom if this one is okay, since it's not like myspace.
  • Oct 4, 2008, 09:47 AM
    starbuck8

    Maybe if she lets her Mom check it out, and shows her it's not a chat room, but a place where you come for advice on all different topics, she might approve. She can even get help with her homework and things here, and of course there is the teen forum also. Maybe once her Mom sees what it's all about, she wouldn't mind.

    EDIT: Also, she could tell her mom that the administrators and moderators here do a pretty good job of keeping things under control, and pretty clean.
  • Oct 4, 2008, 12:27 PM
    Alty

    I would let my own kids use this site. In the time that I've been here I've come to respect the people who run and moderate this site. I also respect the people who come on here to give advice.

    Once in a while a bad apple breaches the gate, but they're found pretty quickly and booted out.

    The mods here are great, heck, even I can't get away with stuff. ;)
  • Oct 4, 2008, 07:49 PM
    Bural21

    Well, quick question - were you in a group of people and he was openly flirting with everyone around you? If that's the case, I think maybe he's too chicken to flirt with you because he likes you back. If I were you, play hard to get... it's the easiest way to go about things. I think if you stay around, but you don't let him know you're completely available and he'll want you more. As humans, we seem to always want what we can't have. Hope I was of assistance, and I hope your situation gets better!
  • Oct 10, 2008, 06:41 PM
    Chebaby

    Personally I think that you do have self esteem issues... which could be a result of a lot of things... try to sit back and ask yourself what really have you feeling like you do? I feel that you are looking too much for some one to like you when your not even sure if you like yourself...

    Pul yourself back and think... all guys would not notice you it would take a real man to recognize you... don't try to blend in with other girls to try and atract guys but be better and stand out show the guys that you are different and not like all the others. Be positive, stay positive an give god thanks

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